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Natasha – so sorry to hear about your losses, job and health and looks! I’m 57 like wsh (thanks for posting about your facial recovery) and I’ve had to postpone looking for a job for 4 months due to insomnia, I started looking recently but find since I’m barely recoverying, some of the interviews are making me relapse and suffer additional insomnia. I’m putting the job thing on hold again a bit longer or only seeking part time. You sound like you have hope, don’t get discouraged. If you have extra money, you can look into some facial procedures at a MedSpa. My sister, last year had issues with a leg bone and rheumatoid arthritis pain. She was bed bound for about 10 months, and near the end she needed a diaper that her husband had to change. But she is up now, recovered and enjoying her garden and we will slowly improve too! Have Faith.
As far as the light sleep goes, I’m not doing Sleep Restriction, only stimulus control, so maybe I have a bit more flexibility for my sleep schedule as far as bed time, but still need to get up the same time everyday. Just to also make clear, my doctor does want me getting out of bed if I can’t sleep after about 30 minutes and preferably no clock watching if that is a stressor. He just wants me to understand that I am in light sleep more often that I realize, and to not lose the moment or bring on anxiety about thinking I am awake.
Hi Natasha,
There have been a lot of people mentioning light sleep/stage 1 sleep here recently. Last month I did a sleep study to check for apnea, during the study my doctor said I was spending too much time in stage 1. He said the average person might spend 6 minutes but I spent 29 minutes in it. And of course I felt like was not sleeping but technically I was. The doctor said this is common with insomniacs. He suggested that when I’m in this state to tell myself I’m in stage one, relax and then hopefully I will fall into deeper sleep.
Starting about 2 weeks ago I have made progress with sleep, having 7 good, refreshing nights sleeping 7+ hours (but not in a row), and knowing about this sleep stage has helped and so I stress less.
As far as facial drooping, that is like me. Last month a long time neighbor even told me I look a bit droopy! The one time recently I had 4 good nights of sleep in a row, the dark circles seemed to get just a fraction better or maybe wishful thinking, but being that it typically takes skin cells 6 weeks to rejuvinate, I would expect I’d need 6 weeks of probably 6+ hours of sleep or more for me to start looking really refreshed.
3am is a tough time…if it were a bit earlier I would sit in the living room with a low light and read, but at 3am I would just stay in bed and relax and wait for my spouse to get up which is usually at 5am. If I didn’t have pets, I might go for a walk outside. But we have some unusual cats who think they are dogs and like to walk with me and the dog, at that time of night the coyotes are out and I’m afraid they’d hunt the cats.
Since you’be been to the doctor, I assume you’ve ruled out medical conditions like diabetes for the night sweats and sleep apnea? What would happen if you went to bed earlier, say like 9pm so you would get 6 hours sleep instead of 3hours?
Thanks for posting your experience! Yesterday I started a free trial for audiobooks as sometimes I am just too tired to read when I get out of bed because I am not sleeping. Very enjoyable. And I also find having the window open a bit for fresh air is good even though my doctor suggested having the room blacked out. I use earplugs now to minimize the street and other noise.
I can really see this is a long process and a lifelong process and try not to get discouraged. And like you, I stepped up my exercise rountine, so if there was one benefit of insomnia I’ve lost 8 lbs and gained some muscle and strength.
Sounds like your underlying issue is anxiety, so maybe the structure of Sleep Restriction was too much for you. Have you tried any forms of meditation, like progressive muscle relaxation or listening to guided meditation? I’ve found many decent mediation practices on YouTube and I swear there were days when I was so stressed and sleep deprived that if I didn’t listen to one of these I’d probably be sent to a 5150 mental health lockdown unit.
My sleep doctor recommended the practice of Stimulus Control first before Sleep Restriction. Martin has the info on SC here under “resources”. I practiced it for 3-4 weeks and then had a very decent week of sleep. That week I decided to take back my bedroom, (it was suggested I sleep away from my spouse for a while) I got an assortment of ear plugs to try to block out my husband’s Bi-Pap, bought some new crisp sheets and took a warm shower before bed each night. Then I had a setback for 3 days due to some stressors like job interviews and arguement with spouse, but thanks to the support here, last night was a little better falling asleep at midnight (after getting out of bed 3x) waking up at 5am with my husband’s alarm. I do not have a “sleep window” but try to fall asleep between 9:30pm-10pm knowing I will probably wake up around 5am. For me its so much less stressful than knowing I have to stay up until a certain time.
Like with you there are days I could not drive, and I realize that for this time in my life I am also adding stress by seeking a full time job, when really a part time job would be better for my sanity. Hopefully your friends who you would like to have over for dinner will understand and support your situation. Last week was my birthday, my adult daughter wanted to take me out but the thought of making a plan was stressful, so I just told her I call her the morning of my bday and see how I feel. Without the stressor of a dinner reservation I slept really well and the day of my bday we were able to go out and enjoy ourselves. Maybe your friends can be a bit spontaneous with you.
Hi, just wanted to say I understand how frustrating this process is. I am not doing sleep restriction but just stimulus control. I’m have the same pattern as you. Last week 5 great nights out of 7, probably sleeping 6-8 hours, no drugs. Then the last 3 nights only 3.5 hrs sleep and this is on 5mg of ambien. I’m trying to look for work so I could have stressed myself out in thinking about interviews.
My doctor suggested the hour before bed, dim the lights, take a warm shower, try to meditate, read a book that is somewhat boring, listen to audio books or music. He suggested trying 3-5mg of melatonin, tryptophan or valerian. None of the herbal stuff works for me though. And of course getting out of bed if you can’t sleep and no clock watching.
I’m sure you’ve tried all recommendations posted here. Sometimes I find coloring or trying to sketch something is more relaxing than reading. I can’t really listen to music or audio book as I seem to follow along. There are a many decent guided meditaions on YouTube, they can be very relaxing but don’t always lead to sleep. Most of the time though, when I get out of bed after lying awake, I’m too tired to read or anything, I just sit in the dark for a short time. Its awful because I am yawning and so sleepy, yet can’t fall asleep many times.
Sleep study at sleep clinic, cost $3112.00 USD in California. Although I was very relaxed and looking forward to getting some answers, for some reason I could not sleep during the study, ended up taking 2 Ambien and still felt like I did not sleep at all. You are hooked up to a lot of wires and they’d like you to sleep in different positions (back, and sides) I slept enough for the doctor to get some data.
The good news is I have no sleep apnea and once I’m asleep hardly any arousals, maybe better than normal. But I do spend too much time in Stage 1 sleep and not enough in restorative deep sleep. Which is something that many people have posted here, they feel like they have not really slept, stay in stage 1 for a longer time than average. So technically the doctor was correct in that I am sleeping more than I think I am, however what good is it if I don’t feel refreshed?
Except for last night I had 4 very good nights of sleep in a row, but the doctor said not to get discouraged. However he did say that this will be a lifetime process, and to not stop practicing good sleep hygiene and stimulus control even if I start to feel better. This I did not realize this would be a way of life, I thought I’d just go back to what once was normal. Oh well, hope this is useful for someone.
I know you said you have tried hormone therapy, was that progesterone and an estrogen patch? That helped me some after menopause, maybe you need your dosage tweeked?
I too am a caregiver of an adult disabled child and unfortunately an emotionally abusive spouse that has kidney failure. My insomnia started from a side effect of medication, but my home life has exasperated the situation. I had to take a sleep aid last night, I’m upset because I was doing very well for 4 nights.
I spoke with a therapist and she said I put to many performance requirements on myself – you may be doing the same being a caregiver to a critically ill spouse. Maybe for a while ask God to fully support and take care of your spouse, or seek respite care, something to ease your caregiving so you can take care of yourself. My sleep doc told me to keep the last hour before bed, only to myself, my time. Dim the lights, take a warm shower, do gentle, relaxing things. He gave me a whole bunch of things to do, which ended up being stressful. So far the most calming activity before bed for me is coloring. I have a couple books and about 50 colored pencils. And also getting exercise during the day even on only 2 hours sleep makes me feel a bit better.
Although this might not get you to sleep, it should reduce your anxiety – try some guided meditation. There are some apps for your phone, and many good ones on YouTube. I particulary enjoy the guided meditaion from the Mindful Movement on YouTube. So many days and nights I thought I might go crazy, but 20-30 minutes listening to these and I felt restored.
That would be me too. Very self conscious about this, especially now that I am starting a job search and wondering if potential employers notice and wonder about appearance. Once I start sleeping a bit more I am condsidering getting an injectible filler in the eye trough area.
I think you will have to have a lot of patience you solve your medication dilemma. Make sure you are eating a healthy diet and getting good exercise. Getting off your medications will take some time to do it safely, under your doctor’s supervision. I cannot answer the dosage question about gabapentin, hopefully your doctor can give this some thought .
About 15 years ago I had a terrible bout of insomnia due to an SSRI drug, Celexa. When you are on these drugs its difficult to have a clear perspective of what’s going on sometimes, depending on your body chemistry. I ending up reading this book by Peter Breggin, Medication Madness who discusses over use of SSRIs and other drugs. It may be very insightful to you because its related to some of the medication you’ve been on. You sound so desperate I had to respond. I wish there was a safe drug for me to just knock me out, but I know there is not. I don’t even respond well to the natural remedies. My sleep doc recommended tryptophan, I took it 2 days ago, gave me the worst hangover and mental numbness for 20 hours after taking it and had no improvement of my sleep. Even on only 2 hours of sleep today I am feeling OK so far because I’ve had no drugs or herbal products in my system for a few days. Has anyone looked into you trying gabapentin? It is used off label for sleep issues sometimes. It is primarily a drug for seizures, my daughter took it as a child and my husband takes it now for peripheral neuropathy. It has many off-label uses and I think is fairly safe.
