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Thanks, Martin and chee, for your kind responses. You’re a blessing to all of us.
Martin, I think I initially (finally) left the insomnia struggle late last year when implemented ACT for Insomnia. It still took quite some time to finally leave it all behind, but continually remembering to simply accept the current situation for what it was, a bump in the road, and not some debilitating physical issue, slowly led me to recovery.
This recent blip has taken me by surprise, but the last couple nights, while the struggle is still there, I’ve managed to get about 4+ hours of sleep (as opposed to none or maybe 2-3). And while there’s some frustration with being awake in bed for a few hours, it’s helpful to enjoy relaxing and letting my mind drift off. It eventually leads to sleep.
I think it’s going to take some time to get back to where I was. I always envisioned a speed bump to be *maybe* a weeklong struggle (and certainly that could be the case for a lot of folks), but I think my path to recovery (again) is accepting these nights for what they are and putting no expectations on when my more-consistent sleep will return.
I don’t think it’s oversleeping but probably racing thoughts in my brain worrying about rough nights again.
But you’re correct: if I stop giving a damn about bad nights of sleep, things will eventually settle back down like they did before. I likely just need to brace for a period of time to get back to level. I doubt it’ll happen overnight.
Thanks, chee. Yeah, I took your previous messages to heart a while ago. It still took months to finally put insomnia behind me. But I did it–for nine months, anyway. I even slept okay after the death of my father. That’s when I knew things were going to be okay.
Then all of a sudden, I fell backwards fast. I guess I didn’t expect a speed bump to be so severe and that it might take a while to get out of it. It’s bewildering.
Well, night 4 of the speed bump didn’t go any better. I was calmer at bedtime after dozing in the recliner for about 45 minutes. But I just laid in bed, not able to sleep AT ALL. I was exhausted, but nothing would happen
I eventually tried to watch TV to take my mind off it around 3AM, but I was too exhausted to concentrate. At 4AM, I decided I was going to bed and try to get as much sleep as possible, even if that meant walking up later than usual.
And I did sleep somehow, in chunks, until about 8AM or so. I obviously can’t sustain this type of sleep, and I’m starting to develop a headache from 4 days of little sleep. I hope someone out there can help talk me back on track. I’m truly struggling.
Thanks for answering my questions, Chee, and giving me an idea of how you handle the times where it’s tough to fall asleep. This is helpful. Like you (and many others, I imagine), stimulus control does the opposite for me: it makes sleep much harder and really never increases my sleep drive for the next night. I’d much prefer to stay in bed as long as I’m fairly calm and just let sleep happen (or not).
In reading more about ACT and watching some videos by Daniel Erichsen, the negative association with the bed is much more likely a negative association with not sleeping–it just so happens we’ve gotten used to not sleeping IN BED. That association isn’t necessarily broken by stimulus control but by accepting lack of sleep as just something that happens. Remove the fear our brain puts on lack of sleep, and it seems to follow that sleeping in bed will eventually occur.
I definitely broke from my CBTi routine the last 2-3 nights/days simply to get SOME sleep, and I slept over seven hours in my recliner last night. I’ll take it. But I’ll also work to calm my mind to sleep in bed and only do these one-off nights when I simply need to get some sleep. Does that make sense?
I do appreciate what you’re saying, Chee. And I’m trying to just let these sleepless nights go. May I ask a couple questions?
During your own struggle working with CBTi, did you experience five or more straight nights of little or no sleep? I’m really wanting to know if what I’m experiencing is normal or excessive.
And by accepting the bad nights, do I simply stay in bed awake or do I get up and do something enjoyable? I stayed calm most of last night, just lying in bed awake, until around 3:30. I tried watching TV for an hour then went back to bed. I woke up frustrated again at my lack of sleep. But I’m seriously trying to accept these awful nights. It’s just hard on night 5.
Thanks for the direct response, Chee. I get what you’re saying about letting it go. It’s just REALLY hard when you’re implementing CBTi techniques, have some solid results, then proceed to have FOUR CONSECUTIVE bad nights.
That feels excessive to me. Do others have such long setbacks? Plus after four bad nights, I feel like crap, so it’s hard to not think about it. It’s with you throughout the day.
I decided to take a nap in my recliner basically after I got up–CBTi be damned. I needed *some* sleep to feel better about the day. I’ll worry about sleeping tonight in my bed later.
Should I keep the same sleep window? Or just go to bed once I start drifting off while watching TV? Anyone’s advice on this is welcome. Thanks again.
Hi Chee:
I get what you’re saying about accepting the bad nights. But what do I do when I’ve now had four consecutive bad nights?
I’ve slept seven hours total in four nights. And half of those were on the couch around 3am two nights ago.
I’ve been implementing CBTi for a few weeks now (12:30-6:30 window) and had really good success (one bad night a week and 80-92% efficiency the other nights).
Then all of a sudden, things stopped working this week. I’m completely exhausted a good 30 minutes before the start of my sleep window and doze for 15 minutes or so each night. (On the good weeks, this wasn’t a problem.) But when I get into bed now, that sleep drive disappears even though I don’t feel anxious.
Today, I’m really tempted to take whatever naps I can get just to get some sleep. I worry that lack of sleep is going to give me Alzheimer’s or lead to premature death.
