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JTthemillenial✘ Not a client
Hi Martin, good to hear from you and very sweet of you to reply. I certainly typed this up when I was in a state of disbelief and despondence and needed to vent. I am still in quite a hole, but sleep is just barely starting to level out again thanks to a tighter sleep window.
Acceptance has always been my biggest challenge around insomnia. In retrospect, I am somewhat surprised I recovered as well as I did the first time considering how closely I monitored my progress. I have always been deeply attached to my sleep, and this second go-round of insomnia is forcing me to reevaluate that strong level of attachment. It is difficult and scary, but as eager as I am to feel normal again, a small part of me is ready for liberation from that deep attachment. Wish me luck.
Thanks again for holding this space. Thinking of everyone here and rooting for you all!
Jamie
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientHey y’all,
I am also working on this now. I’d be happy to also participate. Peer support would be great!
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientHi Dazzio! One of the things I found most helpful was being able to remind myself that whenever I experienced discouraging setbacks, I could pick always pick myself up and continue working toward my goal of improved sleep. One of the most unhelpful things to me was the sense that others seemed to think I was overreacting, including my sleep therapist. Feeling like I was too distressed about it just made me feel more distressed, which made my recovery harder. I learned that there’s no right or wrong thoughts and feelings to have about insomnia, you just have to be extremely kind to yourself when things don’t go exactly the way you wish they would. There’s always an opportunity to get better.
Hope you’re doing well!
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientHi everyone!
I’m actually doing really well. I’ve been getting around 7 or so straight hours of sleep a night, and then some. I have also been sleeping in a bit on weekends and it’s not throwing off my rhythm to any significant degree. My sleep wasn’t great when I was on vacation last week, but it I didn’t overreact and it didn’t ruin my time. I’m really close to being back to my version of normal, which I was convinced wouldn’t happen. I think the biggest indicator of recovery for me hasn’t just been the improved quality of my sleep, but my reaction to the quality of my sleep when my nights aren’t as “good” as I’d like them to be. I’m grateful for the treatments that worked for me and hope they are successful for others.
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientAlso, sorry to be that person, but how do I unsubscribe from getting email updates for this forum? I wasn’t subscribed before but am now randomly getting them.
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientSRT has worked really well for me this time around! My sleep window is 7.25 hours right now, but my sleep itself is still a bit broken. Luckily though, when I wake up I am usually able to fall back asleep within minutes. Onset was the main issue and it is resolving really well. I have some sleep anxiety when I go to bed, but I am able to talk myself down and get to sleep in a reasonable amount of time, thanks largely on part to ACT. The repeated experiences of good sleep have really boosted my confidence and successfully reset my circadian rhythm. I’m not even as worried about a bad night anymore because I have been generally feeling good for a few weeks now and know that if there’s a relapse (even a bad one) I can go through the process again and get better. I’m confident that the worst is over, and that in of itself has been a major hurdle to clear. I’m sure I’ll be around here for a while though, as I haven’t fully recovered yet.
Deb, did you get over your most recent setback?
Mac, sorry to hear about your frustration. I would say to stick with ACT for a while longer and if things don’t improve in the long term, maybe go back to SRT, but continue to use the ACT tools. I found what worked for me was that SRT basically bought me more time to master the ACT tools while also making my sleep patterns more consistent and predictable. My personal experience with SRT has been that it works as more than “just a band aid” and I think that if it works for you in the beginning there’s no reason you wouldn’t be able to see it through to the end.
On top of that, you’ve gotten a lot of advice from people on this forum who are well-intentioned but are only experts on our own recoveries. You may consider consulting Martin or another professional for more clear and consistent guidance.
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientHi, everyone! I’ve generally been doing well, sleeping about 6.5-7 hours on average recently and feeling closer to normal! I’ll admit though that I’ve been loose with my sleep window (aka sleeping in too often) and the other night I ate some sugary food too close to bedtime, which was a bad idea for me even before the insomnia. It took me a long time to fall asleep because of what I ate, and now I seem to be in the midst of a prolonged setback. Kind of a silly mistake I guess but I’m planning on pulling back my sleep window to a strict 7 hours tonight to see if that helps get me back on track again. Just hoping that I am able to keep my cool and the setback ends up being acute.
Anna, how are things going for you?
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientBianca = Borgesbi. Didn’t make that clear haha
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientThanks, Mac. It sounds like you have made headway since changing your approach. I hope it continues to help!
Amazing how the ACT tools have successfully taught us how to manage our thoughts and feelings differently. At the start of CBT-I, I was still using props and applying sleep effort and fighting anxiety because I didn’t know any better. Now when the anxiety hits hard, it comes in waves and I am able to work through it each time. I also find that often (though not always) focusing the natural rhythm of my breath helps make me calm enough to to sleep, like it did before the insomnia.
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientHi all, I’m still “here.” I had about 5 straight weeks of near-continuous improvement before making some unhelpful decisions and falling into some old habits, like sleeping in and eating the wrong things before bed. I was getting probably 6.5-7 hours a sleep for about a week and was feeling close to normal, then the other night I ate some sugary food too close to bedtime, took longer than I had been to fall asleep, freaked out slightly, then slept in a bit to make up for it. The next night was fine so I thought it was just a blip, but last night was straight-up rough. So now I am wondering if I am experiencing a relapse. Upsetting, but not surprising and not hard to see what choices I’ve made to get to this place. It is helpful to think about what Daniel Erichsen said about relapse, that the “first cut is the deepest” and “things are different now” because I know what getting better looks and feels like. Sleep restriction worked surprisingly well for me, so if I need to tighten my window back up I know it’s likely to help.
I was also lucky enough to meet up with Bianca a couple weeks ago for coffee since we live in the same area. We had a great conversation and I felt reassured afterward that I can always continue to move towards acceptance, no matter how crummy I may feel today or tomorrow or the next day.
Good to hear from you all. Much solidarity.
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientThanks, Mike. I say I’m lucky because I know CBTI doesn’t always work as effectively for some people and I was skeptical about whether this would work for me (of course, that still remains to be seen). Also I consider myself lucky to have found out about CBTI as quickly as I did after developing insomnia.
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientGlad to hear it, Anna! I’m on day 19 and am having pretty good luck, too. I’ve been sleeping around 5-5.75 hours a night and last night my body finally decided that wasn’t enough and pushed me to 6.25 hours. I’m pretty relieved I got to that point, although getting out of bed was really hard this morning and I am still pretty tired. I’m hoping that means I’ll be really sleepy tonight, too. I also expanded my window to 6.5 last night and am glad I did. You’ll get there soon!
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientWell, good news from me. I crossed the 6-hour threshold last night without any help from terrible previous nights. I think my body finally decided 5-5.5 hours a night wasn’t cutting it because that’s what I’ve been sleeping consistently but yesterday I was so sleepy all day that I crashed when I went to bed. I also expanded my window to 6.5 hours last night. The ACT seems to be working too because my anxiety is finally going down, but maybe that is because I am actually sleeping nightly now. 2.5 weeks into SRT and so far it seems to be doing it’s job!
Borgesbi, I sent you an email. Not sure if you got it.
Gsd, I’d probably agree that those comments from your doctor weren’t very helpful unless they think there really is an underlying medical issue. If you’ve been improving, I’m sure that improvement will only continue.
Mac, how’s the ACT going for you?
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientDaf, I think that’s how I think about the approaches too. Not as single-line treatments necessarily, but a sets of tools that can be used in conjunction to accommodate an individual’s needs. Although I do agree with Deb on the principle that if you want to see if something works, commit to it until you know how it goes.
- This reply was modified 5 years ago by JTthemillenial.
JTthemillenial✘ Not a clientI guess by “existential threat” I’m referring to the threat to my sense of self. Maybe I used it incorrectly… it wasn’t intended to be as morose as I may have made it sound.
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