[Ksenija]

Hi Msr 0129,

Thank you for sharing. I am now 8 months into breastfeeding my second baby. Changing my perspective about sleep helped me so much this time around! I see a sleepless night as an opportunity. I have a list of good films I always wanted to watch but never had time. If I have a sleepless night I watch a film from my list or two. Ironically, since I’ve decided to watch films I didn’t have many sleepless nights, and wasn’t able to watch many nice films, which is a shame (maybe?)
Good luck with everything

[Ksenija]

Hello,

There is not much point to this post apart from me needing to rant.
So far my sleep restriction is not going too well

Night one was disaster and I only got two hours of sleep
Night two I was so worried about not sleeping, I took some antihistamines and I slept for nine hours, but felt awful the next day, because antihistamines gave me a terrible hangover
Night three, I was worrying that after sleeping for nine hours I won’t have any sleep drive, so took half of the antihistamines, slept for 5 hours but my head is still foggy from taking tablets.

I feel so disappointed for not being able to do it. Feel like a massive failure.

I contacted my GP and asked if they could refer me to CBT-I, but because I am already under postnatal mental health team they can’t make another referral to another therapy until I finish my current one. They suggested talking to my current postnatal therapist, but she doesn’t know much about CBT-I. She suggested that I need to try and nap during the day, which as we know won’t really help me with sleep. I don’t have much money to go privately, so I feel frustrated and powerless in this situation.

I think I will attempt sleep restriction once again today, but I am worried it won’t work as it didn’t on my first night.

[Ksenija]

Hello,

Is it supposed to get worse at the start?
I have implemented my sleep window and stimulus control last night and I barely slept. I was in and out of bed and only started to feel sleepy two hours before my wake time, so slept only for around two hours. This is worse than my usual insomnia night. Usually I would get 3 hours on my worst night. This is worrying me and I wonder if sleep window will work for me, as it doesn’t work for everyone.

[Ksenija]

Hi Chee2308,

Thank you so much for finding time to write this, I find it very helpful and inspiring.
I’ve decided to start implementing my sleep window from Thursday. I love reading about positive experiences how other people overcame this problem. I need to see my situation in perspective, because sometimes my head tells me that my case is special, unique and different and nobody else suffered the way I did.

I still have a bit of doubt that sleep window can’t work in my ‘unique’ case, but I guess I will never find out if I don’t try it. My concern is that I will be woken up or disturbed during my sleep widow because there are some factors I can’t control. My baby might wake me up. My partner comes to bed around midnight and he wakes me up. He also has a severe sleep apnoea and he snores so loud! But I think nobody’s situation is perfect and other people also experience disturbances, it is part of life, I am struggling to accept that there won’t be perfect sleeping conditions for me and I need to learn to adapt.

[Ksenija]

Hi Sleepykieran,

Just wanted to say that what you wrote is very helpful. I think my main issue is negative thinking pattern, mainly catastrophizing. I think a lot about negative consequences of insomnia and finding it hard to trust my body with sleep. In my head sleepless night will lead to something awful. For example, I imagine myself getting into a traffic accident, or dropping something on my little baby, or making a full of myself by saying something stupid or inappropriate.

[Ksenija]

Hi Kjs16,

Thank you for sharing and I am glad CBTI is helping you. This is really inspiring.
I can see how one bad night can bring back worries. I think when I have bad nights every nights it’s in some way even easier because this is my reality and I am starting to accept it and feel okay about it. Interestingly, last night I had a very good night, and you would expect me to feel happy about it, but strangely I am not! I know it sounds crazy but now I am worrying that I have ‘killed’ my sleep drive and won’t sleep tonight at all. Plus, I feel more tired today after sleeping 8 hours than I feel after sleeping 5. It just does not make sense.

[Ksenija]

Could it be REM rebound maybe? Happens after a period of sleep deprivation, I think.
I am experiencing a lot of vivid dreams when I am sleep deprived. I believe it is how body adjusts naturally.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Ksenija.

[Ksenija]

That’s a great comparison with cats and dogs. They also don’t binge on chocolate at night. Long way to go for me :)))

I struggled to fall asleep last night again and I think I only slept 4 or 5 hours, but I am surprised how well I am able to function on this little sleep.

I still have a lot of negative thoughts about how this will affect my health. I stopped seeing my friends because I think that I am too tired and will be too boring for them in this tired state. I only go out for a walk early in the mornings so not many people can see how terrible I look. I know that I need to change these behaviours. Now I can see that insomnia for me is much more than just sleepless nights. It has impact on all areas of my life.

[Ksenija]

Hi Cindy,

I absolutely love your easy going attitude towards sleep. I hope I will get the same one day.

I can relate to fear of being awake while the baby is asleep. I know that after I feed him at night I have 3.5 hours until he wakes up hungry again and it puts so much more stress on falling asleep.

But saying that, I can see some improvements already! I haven’t applied any CBT-I stuff yet, but surprisingly I feel much better just from listening to the youtube videos and reading this forum.

I am concentrating on having good time during the day no matter how bad I slept, and it works! My sleep didn’t get any better, I still sleep 4-5 hours a night on average, but my days are much better, I don’t even feel tired!

I also think that I might have a bit of that ‘paradoxical insomnia’ Martin talks about, because sometimes 3 hours between feeds fly past very fast. I think that I haven’t slept, but maybe I actually slept but just didn’t dream? I am still a bit confused about it and don’t think there is a way to check it.

I still struggle to fall asleep. I know that I go to bed way too early. Sometimes at 8pm, just to give myself ‘a chance’ to sleep. I know that this is not the best thing, because I normally can’t sleep until 11 pm feed anyway, but I am terrified to let go and not to do it.

[Ksenija]

Hello Cindy,

Thank you so much for your post, I can relate to you so much and your journey is such an inspiration to me. I had my baby boy in December and same as you first couple of weeks I barely had any sleep because his sleeping was all over the place and he was making a lot of noises at night and I was worrying if he is okay. But he started sleeping better when he was about 8 weeks. Now he sleeps in 4 hour stretches. But I just cannot sleep! I go to bed early, the same time as him, to give myself an opportunity to sleep. So I spend in bed 10-11 hours a day, but only sleep for 3-4 hours if lucky!
CBT-i gives gave me some hope, my sleep is still very bad but I already feel better about it and stress less

[Author]

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