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- April 15, 2021 at 2:01 am #40805
Ksenija✘ Not a client
Thank you for sharing and I am glad CBTI is helping you. This is really inspiring.
I can see how one bad night can bring back worries. I think when I have bad nights every nights it’s in some way even easier because this is my reality and I am starting to accept it and feel okay about it. Interestingly, last night I had a very good night, and you would expect me to feel happy about it, but strangely I am not! I know it sounds crazy but now I am worrying that I have ‘killed’ my sleep drive and won’t sleep tonight at all. Plus, I feel more tired today after sleeping 8 hours than I feel after sleeping 5. It just does not make sense.April 23, 2021 at 4:48 pm #40895
Cindy✘ Not a client
I don’t have good or bad nights, I just have nights, if that makes sense!
I go to bed at bedtime. I have no idea when I fall asleep. I wake up when baby cries. I browse Facebook for way too long. Then I put my phone away and close my eyes. Then it’s morning again.
Sometimes I’m not that tired at bedtime. Or I wake up at 4am somehow full of energy. I just browse Facebook mindlessly for a bit until I get sleepy or bored. Then I close my eyes again and let myself drift. I always have my phone on hand at night to entertain me if I’m awake. Nothing is more boring than lying in bed, not sleepy enough for sleep, with nothing to do. So thank God there’s Facebook and the internet. I know, blue light is bad. But it doesn’t really bother me, so….yeah xD
One thing I learned from my insomnia journey is:
Sleep is not the escape from insomnia.
The escape from insomnia is the acceptance of being awake when your body isn’t ready to sleep. Acceptance of being brain dead the next day. Acceptance of having those obnoxious, illogical, catastrophic sleep thoughts randomly firing through your head throughout the day (“What if I don’t sleep tonight. What if I don’t sleep ever again. What if I lose my job because I can’t sleep. What if… what if…sleep sleep sleep sleep SLEPTWERJSDL:FKJSD:LKj)
But you can’t practice that acceptance without actually being in the situation of not ready to sleep and being brain dead the next day, right?
So, to cure sleep anxiety and therefore insomnia in the long term…is to just have more insomnia LOL.
If you can desensitize yourself to being okay with being awake, okay with being tired, okay with being scared of never sleeping again…your sleep will fix itself.
There is never such a thing as a bad night. There’s only desensitization practice haha!