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This is what I mentioned in a post weeks ago. How ultimately the thing we are trying to defeat is the anxiety. The sleep fear. Whatever you want to call it. You can sleep well all you want on and off for weeks or months, but if you still are letting those negative thoughts bother you come some bedtimes or while you’re trying to nod off or if you ever wake up in the middle of the night, you are simply not fully cured. Can SRT help cut down the anxiety? Absolutely it can. Can it completely get rid of it? Maybe, maybe not. Everyone is different. But for some, including myself, a sufferer of 2+ years, I think it will take a lot more psychological discipline to get rid of any underlying fear once and for all. But before I can even worry about that, I need to start putting together more than just 2-3 good nights in a row.
we have a lot in common. I too have always been a bit of an ‘obsessive’ type. Whether with sleep or my health in general. Definitely a touch of OCD here. For as long as I can remember I was a time counter with sleep. “Ok I can still get 7 hours if I crash right now”, “Ok I only got 6 hours so tonight I’ll catch up a bit”. This was in play way before my Insomnia started. Would worry about sleep from time to time. It was almost as if I was destined to end up where I am.
I guess if there’s any one single blessing through this nightmare it’s that I’m learning how to relax myself more and more with regards to sleep worry and understand what’s really worth ‘worrying’ about after all and what’s not, like good sleep hygiene
Yeah I am not really disagreeing and was surprised how against it she was in her book when it’s well documented and well known that SRT can help many people with sleep problems.
I could understand her being against doing SRT at the first sign of insomnia but to be pretty much against it and to call it a crutch isn’t really right and didn’t sit well with me after reading that particular chapter in her book.
Deb I’ve never ever been a nap person and cannot take naps. Just not wired for them. Even if I was, no, there’s no place for one.
I just want my life back, and not just every other day.
Sorry for the venting, but after 2+ years and with many other issues in my life, this really is one of the last things I ever needed.
thank you for everyone who’s helped and given advice the last few weeks. It helps.
Thanks Deb I really appreciate that. It took me two years to become as smart and as proactive as you with all this.
I don’t know what happened last night but I am absolutely EXHAUSTED today. One of the all time worst zombie days I’ve ever experienced. I just feel like death. Dizzy a bit too which has only happened rarely over the 2 years. Slept around 11:15-4:45. I guess it just wasn’t much of a deep sleep or it’s just one of those days where my body just couldn’t handle anything below 6. Not that I can really handle 6 to begin with.
What a sickening roller coaster this truly is. Yesterday I felt like a million dollars. Today I feel like I belong in a hospital.
Well to be honest, I lied, lol. If I’ve had around 9 bad nights out of 22, that’s more like 40%, not 30.
In any event yes, 40% is better than 60%. I appreciate your encouragement and know it’s all about having that positive mindset that Sasha talks about, but again I just thought I’d be slightly better at this point. We can only hope this roller coaster we’re on does in fact even out soon. I like that metaphor. And yeah I wish there was just one page in her entire book that discussed HOW she actually recovered!
Definitely slightly better, Deb. But the key point being only slightly. Before I began this new phase I had no plan in place. No structure. I’d squeeze in a good night less frequently. Probably 30% of the time. Now it’s more like 60% of the time I have a good night. So sure, that’s good. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m just over it more than I’ve ever been over anything in my life. Another zombie at work day again today.
When I do have my early awakenings, it’s interesting how it always seems to be around the same time of 4:45am. As I said the other day, my brain is almost programmed at this point to be unable to sleep past 6 hours on a consistent basis. Sasha says in her book if this happens, to push your bedtime back until you start comfortably making it to your goal wake up time. Problem is if I’m legit passing out around 10:45-11pm there’s just no way I can make it to 11:45-12a
Surprise, surprise.. another bad night. Coming off of two good nights and especially a great one on Sunday I had this weird feeling in me that I was maybe turning the corner. Nope. I don’t have a totally devastated mindset about it today though like I had with my bad nights over the weekend. But if these past 2+ years and especially 3 weeks have been any indication, who knows if that mindset will last. Out of the now 22 nights I’ve been doing this light SRT, I can estimate that I’ve had around 9 flat out bad nights. That’s 9 too many IMO, but the million dollar question is do I feel I am getting ‘better’ at all anxiety wise? Yes, I am, but, I’m still very concerned this never ending cycle will indeed remain never ending. Yesterday I swear I felt like a damn superhero. That wonderful “this is how life should be” feeling. Refreshed. Why can’t I get that for more than a few days in a row? How’d you do Deb?
Really sorry to hear this deb. Seems like the two of us have the constant two steps forward one step backwards routine. I just don’t understand though how you can get into bed and not fall asleep until 3am. I guarantee you that you went to bed without feeling exhausted. With SRT, even if your set time is 12am, imo in the event you’re not super sleepy you still shouldn’t be going into your bed. If that means holding off until 1am so be it.
Drinking before bed is up there on the list of one of the worst things you can do IMO.
With regards to Sasha, yes, I know how she is against STRICT SRT bc I agree with her in that it came become a crutch. She is a big reason and maybe the reason why I instead have been going with the “light” version of SRT that she teaches in her book. That being said, 3 weeks later and Deb I think you’re doing a lot better than me, so go figure. I don’t know. We’ll see. All I know is that the main culprit is the anxiety of course. Whatever works to kill that, by all means.
@daf you need to understand of course that 6 hours for someone may be the equivalent hell of 3 hours for another. Just like some people I’ve known can get by nicely(somehow) on 5 hours of sleep while others need 7-8. Everyone is different. As far as you saying this is working for me, I’m not going that far at all obviously if you read my post.
@deb, what wakes me up is the underlying anxiety that’s still in my brain. It’s not a noise or call of nature or any of that. It’s simple anxiety stemming from the bad habit of rarely ever getting more than 6-6.5 hours of sleep that I have formed for over two years. Not an easy thing to break after that long. I have to unlearn the habit, which is what I’ve been trying to do more seriously for the 3 weeks now.As recovering insomniacs (I know I’m not supposed to use that word, but sorry!) we especially are prone to bad nights. I never doubted that. I knew that to be part of this process. It’s just that when I’m three weeks into this and I’m still having bad nights on BOTH weekend nights (Fri and Sat), the two nights a week where I should definitely be improving due to no ‘work in the morning’ anxiety), it’s very difficult to be optimistic.
I’m off today for the MLK Holiday and had an OK night last night. Went in bed around 11 when sleepy, crashed probably a half hour later at 11:30. Woke around what I’d say was 5:30 and laid in bed anxiety free until my set wake time of 6:15am. If there’s one small positive about this its that I’m seeing certain aspects of my anxiety go away, such as the waking in the night or waking too early anxiety, though that still doesn’t change the fact that I’m a zombie once I wake up and am miserable for the entire day like I was the last two.
That is great to hear Deb. Keep at it.
I personally did not have a great night. Went to bed when sleepy around 10:50pm. Crashed around 11:15pm. Was hoping to make it my 6:15am alarm seeing as how there was not much anxiety at all when falling asleep and seeing as how the previous two nights were good and how I have no work today of course. However I woke up at 4:45am 🙁
Still, I stayed in bed because I didn’t feel much anxiety at all and assumed I was going to fall back sleep for the last hour which happens quite often in this type of situation. I never did. I don’t know anymore. It just feels like I’m not progressing to where I want to be, 3 weeks in now. How am I supposed to have good nights on work nights during the week when I can’t even get good nights on the weekends consistently?
I think I might have to revert back to the strict sleep window of 11:45p-6:15am.
Glad to hear deb. Keep your positive words coming. With regards to my sleep woes this week, the pattern again is just obvious..
tues night – got cocky and went to bed not very sleepy , had a horrible night
weds night – went to bed semi sleepy and had a decent but still not great night at all
last night – went to bed shot/eyes dropping , and guess what? Slept 6.5 hours and feel ok today
@Daf something tells me you just haven’t been super strict about SRT maybe. What has been your protocol when it comes to SRT? What has your window been like? Also, what do you think may have triggered your insomnia?Oh yeah no big deal. I’ll just “accept” it starting today and will be better in no time. Problem with people who push this method is that they fail to understand it absolutely doesn’t work for everyone. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried this mindset over the 2 years and went nowhere with it. Some people just have stronger insomnia anxiety that can’t get fixed without more drastic measure. End of story.
