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I guess that’s a good way to put it. 17 nights now for me and 5 flat out bad nights in there. Though my problem is that most of the “Good” nights are just that, “Good” with big quotations around them, and none of them different than any of the other “good” nights over the 2+ years.
What I want is to begin going into a phase of good nights that I can start really feeling amazing about. Hoping that comes soon.
Deb… So just to verify you have been using a strict 12a-6a window (for the most part) all this time?
Hey Matt. Where are you from? Sorry to hear about your sleep struggles. You’re definitely not alone. Can’t tell you how many times in my 2+ years of sleep problems I’ve read of a new child being the start of insomnia. Obviously you are dealing with sleep anxiety from all the times of having to attend to him in the middle of the night and what not. Is he sleeping well most nights now on a consistent basis? Do you tend to still worry about him possibly waking as you yourself are going to sleep?
Approximately 6 hours last night. 11:15ish o 5:15ish
You know its funny, so many of these sites and sleep therapists say to keep a journal/log of how much you slept, yet at the same time they say to not worry about the clock or time in general. How does that make sense?
Anyway, as much as my anxiety has dropped down a bit in these now 17 days, I just don’t feel like I’m getting much better sleep wise, which is of course the most important thing here. Before I started my light version of SRT, I was getting around 6 hours, albeit broken sleep. I know its better to sleep straight through, but 6 hours still isn’t enough to make me feel refreshed. To get by? Somewhat, yes. But to be skipping into work like I used to without wishing the day was over already? 6 hours just won’t do that.
Here’s to hoping that I’m not in this same exact boat a month from now.
I just thought that by now, over 2 weeks in, (even though I haven’t been on full fledged SRT) I wouldn’t still have to be so insanely strict with the rules and wouldn’t have to be dealing with anymore horrible nights like last night. Back to no electronics at least 2 hours before bedtime and not even thinking of going to bed unless I can no longer keep my eyes open.
5.25 hours is what it was. 11:30-4:45am. That is nowhere near enough for me. Struggling terribly today.
As far as consistency goes, you say wake up at the same time everyday, like let’s say my alarm at 6:15. But that’s not possible unless I go to sleep near midnight which is almost undoable for me.
I’m just not at that point where I am willing to torture and force myself to stay up til midnight every night. If I’m shot and exhausted and know I can crash in a matter of 15-20 minutes, I’m going in my bed. The problem is that even when I’ve done that, let’s say it’s an 11pm crash, I’ll wake at 5am. It’s as if my body just can’t sleep past 6 hours straight. I’ve had ONE 7 hour night in these 15 days now.
Hoping that within time with enough 6 hour nights I will eventually start gaining confidence enough and killing my brains fear enough to where slowly I will get to 6.5 and eventually consistent 7 hour nights.
A bad night. And I knew it was likely. As 11pm approached I still wasn’t sleepy. After four decent nights beforehand though I decided to try and take a chance. I got in bed anyway. Didn’t crash until around 11:30. Woke up 4:45am. Drifted in and out of BS sleep until 6. Also messed around with the phone a bit too much, close to 10pm. Probably messed with my sleep drive for certain. And so comes another battle through the work day. God give me the strength.
Some soda at 3pm has absolutely nothing to do with it. As I said in an earlier post, after all my experience I’ve realized there are literally only 3 key crucial things to focus on. One of them is no electronics at the very least an hour before bed. If you can even push it to 2 or 3 hours before bed seeing the fragile state us recovering insomniacs are in, even better.
I did 10:30-5ish last night. Sounds decent I know but I’m not feeling all too rested today. Still waiting for the day to be woken up by my alarm again.
Nobody will ever know the pain and suffering I went through in these 2 years. The horror some days were. I literally tried everything and thought it COULD be anything that was affecting my sleep, even though it all ironically began after a stressful incident. I tried cutting out coffee, new pillows, new sheets, a white noise machine, covering my blinds up with black curtains, a blackout mask ?, no TV at all before bed, melatonin pills, “sleepy time” tea, discontinuing of eating ANY form of caffeine, got blood work checked, bought a new comforter, moved my bed in different spots in my room to try and change my mind about the fear. Then there was the phase of where I thought my internet ROUTER which is in my bedroom was causing some kind of distress in my brain. There was much more, too. I was a madman for 2 years. Finally late last year I gave up and realized it was 100% anxiety. Be happy and thrilled that you have people like me and others here to remind you that it’s not that bad, and its nothing crazy. You’ll beat this now. I hope I will too.
Its great to remind yourself of good progress. Overall yes I feel I’m getting better, at least a little bit. I’m more optimistic than ever before, but still know I am far from the promise land. Just last week I was in a great mood about all of this and then boom, two very bad nights in a row. I’m aware my sleep anxiety is far from gone unfortunately, but I still try and remain as positive as I can since out of the 2 weeks I have only had 4 bad nights. Meanwhile I’ve gone through phases of 2 weeks straight of bad nights many times over the 2+ years.
In my 2 years of this hell, there have been many times where I’ve enjoyed good phases only to fall right back into dark holes of Insomnia. The problem and difference then was, I didn’t have discipline or structure like I have now when I came to these boards and began SRT. So I’m hoping with that, in a couple of months max I’ll be back into a good phase that I can once and for all STAY in for the most part.
Well Deb then perhaps that was the problem. One of the few points Sasha Stephens absolutely drives home in her book that I realized works is that it is absolutely vital that you do not get into bed until you are SLEEPY/exhausted. Not just “tired”. I know it’s hard to fathom getting 3 hours sleep the night before and then not hopping in bed whenever you feel a bit tired the next night, but trust me, it’s important when you’re in this messed up state filled with anxiety over a previous bad night.
Use me as some encouragement. Remember Friday morning when I was posting on here acting like the world was coming to an end because I had back to back bad nights? Well part of the reason I thought that happened was bc I didn’t go into bed completely shot. Friday night I then slept 11-5. Saturday 10:45-6, and last night I slept 10-5. All nights I went into bed during a bad phase of eyelids drooping. Sure there were some Insomnia thoughts in my head, but the point is the sleepiness overrode those.
Mac
As long as by tired you mean eyelids drooping, can barely stay asleep.
I think part of what happens after a bad night is we begin to worry, even if subconsciously, about the coming night. Anxiety tends to build and that may have been what caused your issues last night. I can’t tell you how many nights I thought to myself, OK, last night was hell, so tonight its like I gotta get away with a good night, and then didn’t. The key IMO is to get better sleep more and more over time and then after the bad nights you don’t feel as disappointed or anxious. This doesn’t work in 2 weeks for most people. 2 months is way more realistic. Do not get discouraged. Keep at it Deb.
Deb what time did you first go into bed last night? Were you completely sleepy/exhausted when you did so or just “tired” ?
I went in bed at 10:45 when my sleep drive came on. Was out by 11-11:10. Woke at 5.
So, not bad, but still just shocking how my body just can’t seem to go past 6 hours on a regular night, even coming off of a BAD night like Thursday was. My alarm was set for 6:15 of course, as my goal is to never get past that. Obviously that didn’t happen today.
I can deal with a crummy night here and there throughout this process no doubt. But I just don’t want anything to do with what Thursday was like, pretty much ever again.
@delv-x you are correct. You simply cannot tamper much with the rules when you are in a very fragile state. You must heal first, get over your insomnia and rid yourself of sleep anxiety before you can ever have some occasional late lie ins or “erratic” bed times. But even then, in general, it’s no good for someone to be laying around in their bed for extra hours all the time. So Deb I would just keep sticking to what you’re doing. SRT can work quick, but to fully heal IMO, it could take months. I also don’t think an extra cup of coffee means much. Any kind of worrying about coffee or anything like that I realized only reinforces insomnia. I had coffee most of my adult like and never had sleep issues. Then suddenly I thought that was affecting me. So when this all began guess what? I started cutting out coffee like it was poison. Little did I realize it was just a ‘crutch’ in my brain only fueling the fire. I went back to having my one cup a day.
