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Ditto Steve;
welcome whitelori!!!When I first came upon this site, I too would just follow along and hope, that someday, maybe ‘my questions’ would get answered or addressed…then one day I actually posted and immediately Steve responded! I was blown away actually ( thanks Steve) then Deb, Mac,Daf, gsdsmom ,borgesbi
they truly cared and wanted to assist and share what they’ve been through , whats worked for them , and the books they’ve read…Insomnia is real!!! It’ most definitely can be downright Brutal at times …. BUT … to have others to share with, brings a sense of comfort !!! This forum keeps me Going!!
I pray this forum helps you as much as it has helped so many of us !! Although I have not met any of the people on here, there’s no denying This sense of a ‘bond/connection’ i feel to them all!
I hope you have purchased ‘The Sleep Book’ it’s been a very helpful tool!
We look forward to hearing from you!
Yes Deb ,
I truly believe that My faith, family and knowing I didn’t ‘have’ to get up ( I only ‘had’ to set my alarm for 5 one day a week for work) was truly my saving grace for sure!(However … Last night was another tough one??)
It certainly wasn’t always easy to ‘put on a happy face’ but my love for people, my supportive family and the fact that I was. Able to function pretty well, would keep my whining at bay… there are so many people that face a lot worse circumstances than I , and for me , it kept it all in perspective …. I was grateful that , this was ‘all ‘ I was having to endure…
Please hear my heart … this is not to minimize what all of you on here are dealing with .. because ‘it is miserable, and I humbly feel for ALL of you!!!!Believe me , there were times I would just ‘crash hard’ and allow myself to throw a huge ‘pity party for pam’ and then start a new the next day!
This forum has been such a blessing,
Deb, Mac, Steve, gsdsmom and others ,
to have all of you that TRULY understand what it’s like..to struggle with insomnia…. to have the support and encouragement from you … to hang in there.. the tools you all share … it’s been incredible!!! Thank you again and again for being open and vulnerable !!!! I appreciate you all so much!!!
Hey Deb!
Before SRT my normal was;
bed @ 11:00
Wake by 11:45-12
??many nights I stayed awake till 2,
some light sleep off and on till 4 …then I’d finally just get up because at least the gym
Opened at 5 and before all this started that’s what I did!
2-4 hours was my normSome nights was also sleep onset where sleep just didn’t come..
oh how I despised bed time
( which I now know was part of my demise for sure) and when I ever got 5 hours ALL in one night it was such a blessing!!!! And my whole family celebrated with me!!!
There was. Always a rule, if mom was sleeping at anytime of day
Or night or anywhere we were NOT to wake her…. unless the house was on fire!!
My family was And still are my greatest support team!!!My only saving grace was that about every 3 months or so I would get this 2 week reprieve , where I felt like a normal sleeper, and whenever this happened I thought FINALLY I’m healed!!!
I would go to bed , fall asleep, still woke many times
But would always fall back to sleep rather quickly, those were 5-7 hours and an occasional 8!!!!!
Then lo and behold it would end ….. and the sleepless nights would return …I just wanted to CRY!!!!Now I go to bed usually @ 10 (sometimes 9:00-9:30) fall asleep within 20-30 min
I still seem to like the midnight wake up call BUT I am going back to sleep pretty quickly until 2:30 and again until 4-4:30 up at 5!!It’s been since November 13th!!! This is the longest run I’ve had in my 19 years
(It’s not every night, in fact I wanted to hit someone’ last night lol )
BUT…… I am much better at accepting whatever comes, especially now that I’ve experienced some great nights!
Sorry this was again a bit long….
Hey Deb , I answered your questions… and it’s awaiting moderation …? so we will see☺️
‘Third time’ is hopefully the charm?
I have attempted writing this two other times and they were quite lengthy.
Mac had asked a few weeks back how this all started for me ;so I had shared part of ‘my journey’ with Insomnia.
Martin ( and… I’m not even a client) was kind enough to send me a personal email, with his sincere apologies ,about the fact that both of them somehow did not post… he also assured me it would be ok and to please share again… so here goes…
I have four children 35,30 and twins 24 … married 39 years to an amazing and very supportive man! ( whom I almost left 28 years ago?, I would have missed sooo much)
I have been struggling with insomnia for about 19years… to pinpoint a time or a specific incident I really can’t … my oldest went into the military 17 years ago ,at that time I decided to homeschool the twins.. haha yes, by choice… at times that was pretty stressful, and maybe it just exacerbated my already crazy sleep schedule …. I then just attributed it to hormones and that someday it would get better?
Over the last 19 years …. I tried, I feel every over the counter sleep aids known to man… with NyQuil working the best ( I would get 3-4 hours) I was miserable!! I then went on the hunt , my poor doctor, I tried SO many prescription sleep meds only to have them work for about 7 days then taper from 7 hours back down to 3-4hrs on days 8&9 and so on
My dr. Suggested a sleep study, which I believe was a waste of time, I knew I didn’t have restless leg or sleep apnea, I just felt broken and that I had totally lost the faith in myself ‘ to even know how to fall asleep’ I’m a very positive person most the time but this was def affecting me, however ,I kept pushin on! I wasn’t going to let it ruin my attitude .
I was always looking for another avenue ; answers to the ‘why’ this was going on!
I went to a naturopath ; tried bio-identical hormones, Accupuncture ( which I had the best 30-45 min deep sleep nap EVER!) went to a wonderful sleep psychologist , I would try everything anyone or any magazine article would suggest I try! Yoga, baths at night, I tried drinking a glass of wine every night, did a very strict bland diet for 21 days, tried a fast ..My last attempt at sleep before I found Martins free course and all of you was a Hypnotist . I really enjoyed her and the experience was more comfortable than I thought it would be , until after many sessions and I still wasn’t sleeping ! She suggested the next session be on ‘Acceptance of my insomnia’ and NOW I have to just laugh, because that is when I decided NOT to go back!! I’m trying to get rid of this not ACCEPT IT LOL!!
I thought No Way am I going to accept this dreaded pattern of no-sleep, feelings of depression, loneliness, depleted of energy , angry that this is my normal; PLUS I look SO OLD those bags and dark circles!!!!! ARGH!!!
Back online I went… and found Martin!!!
The SR was the first thing for me that actually gave me some relief and much needed hope !! It wasn’t easy at all trying to stay up till 12, but after some time and practice I was finally able to get 4 consecutive hours which I hadn’t been able to do) my sleep window was 12-5
SC was very difficult for me, although I gave it my best effort, i felt it just gave me more anxiety .
Deb… then you mentioned ACT, and like with all other ‘tools/tips’ ever mentioned I ordered it that day my ‘Sleep book!!!!’ I read and re-read …. I Literally LOL when it talked about ACCEPTANCE!!!!!! I feel I owe the sweet hypnotist an apology…. But that’s exactly ‘what’ is helping me get more sleep Now, than I’ve had in years!!!Most of the time it was sleep maintanence , issues , lots of wakefulness , lately it’s been still more wakes than I want BUT I can handle that!
Oh it’s a constant work in progress but what I do know now, is that me trying to control my sleep , wishing it away, thinking just positive thoughts , or trying out all the breathing techniques or imagining me on a beach , was Not working at all,
Me ….. just lying there and accepting whatever comes HAS/IS really been the most helpful!!
.. typing this seems , well, just too simple, doesn’t it☺️☺️Annnnnd, I KNOW it’s NOT that simple, at this time, ACT is what’s helping me
Well Mac I just wrote this long answer to your question and it ‘went away’ haha
I’ll answer again later, but try and keep it brief
And Deb , thanks , started getting them again after logging in????I haven’t been on here for about a month, for some reason I haven’t been getting the emails, and just wanted to get on here and check to see how you all were doing.
Deb, I’m so sorry about your relapse, but I also believe that in no time you’ll be back to restful nights again! You will never know how your words of encouragement truly saved me!
Steve, I believe you were the first to respond to my cry’s for help and I was very humbled by your reaching out to me!
Gdsmom, you too ,have given me words of life and I am so grateful to you!
And Mac, you’ve been instrumental as well with your care and concern; thank you!
For those of you that don’t know: I’ve struggled with chronic insomnia for almost 20 years! I happened upon Martins free online course one night while hmmmm I NOT SLEEPING; go figure haha!!! Anyway, it was here where I met all of you?
I did the SRT and SC and it was the SRT that got me started with an actual 3-4 hours of ( my window 12-5) consolidated sleep, which was amazing, since I’d had years Of just tossing and turning! I hated the SC but I was going to win this battle once and for all!! I absolutely felt tortured having to wait and stay awake till 12?
Then Deb mentioned ACT; I bought the book right away as I did anytime ‘something new’ was mentioned ; I too Mac, loved Sashas book and found it helpful..
. BUT it was the ACT that has really been my lifeline.
Am I cured, No … but I’m OK with it, or shall I say I’ve Accepted it!!
I started in August, I have had some relapses but I’m better than I have EVER been in a very long time , all , without the use of any sleep aids( and I have tried I believe ALL of them)
I , Steve like your post from the 12th; have a similar pattern, bed ; awake within an hour, sleep. A couple more, wake again , sleep, wake …. frustrating for sure and can’t wait for someday to go to bed and actually sleep for 5-7 hours straight ….!
BUT I am grateful for what I have now and truly grateful for all of you!!!
Daf, Deb and Steve
Thank you! I do believe; because I haven’t been able to get a good stretch of sleep that going back to SRT for a bit would be a good idea .. I’m not gonna lie, at times that was brutal, however when I did reach a 4 hour stretch it did feel like heaven!! Then ACT was introduced on this forum, so I switched over . I like Deb felt a rather quick turn around; and was getting some nights of 6-7 hours!! I didn’t feel the anxiousness about sleep anymore, I felt I just truly was able to accept anything the night had to offer. That lasted about two weeks?I then started to worry, that it wasn’t the ACT it was my norm for me..my cycle that I’ve repeated since this all began …
reason being:
since I’ve had insomnia for as long as I have, about every 3 months or so I have a WONDERFUL two week period that I go to bed at 10-11 and wake at 5 ( still many wakes?) BUT I would always go back to sleep quickly … I felt great, remembered how amazing it felt to actually sleep, felt rejuvenated , refreshed, restored, healed ?I would tell my husband every time ! ‘Tom I’m sleeping,this is awesome and I feel great!’(I would often tell him, that when I do sleep I’d let him know, so he wouldn’t ask)
I strongly believe in ACT , I know it helped so much with the ‘letting go ‘ of any fear I had that insomnia will be my demise… and that getting 8 hours of sleep is required in order to be ‘healthy’ like we’ve all read about haha
ACT and all of you ,has been such a lifeline …realizing that I’m just ‘Fine’ and I have ALOT of friends in this insomnia circle, that truly ‘Get It’
I have a little trouble sleeping, Big deal… it’ll eventually come!
And I am looking so forward to having many nights or normal?Sorry this is so long; I really appreciate all of you!
Steve, no I was not in bed for 10 hours, I’m sure, the ‘why’ I was struggling to stay awake from 6-8 pm ( on the couch attempting to read) was our trip to Israel and the 10 hour time difference , ( I was really struggling the whole two weeks we were there)
We’ve been back for two weeks now ;
The last 3 nights have been pretty good:( august was when I had my last two week good sleep cycle) : but DANGIT I want to believe it’s my ACCEPTANCE❤️Thanks Daf,
Wish I liked cheese☺️
Does it work on nachos!??Anyway, I believe you are right, I’ve noticed the pattern I’m in currently i cannot keep my eyes open from 6-7 , for this is when I’m finally able to relax and read or watch tv , however instead of trying to stay up till 10 ( As to make the nights and time in bed shorter ) I’m going to bed around 8 I fall asleep very quickly and deeply for 21/2-3 hours,
It feels as though ive slept 5 hours , so I check the clock and it’s only 11 haha ( we were in Israel for two weeks so I’m hoping to get my timing better soon on when to crash)
One night I did force myself to stay awake until 10 ( which Between10-11 is my normal) and again 3 solid hours! Which when I can get three in a row feels pretty good! I will then lay in bed ‘resting’ for another 1-2 hours and get up and go read…Question?? Should I just work on staying up until
10-11 …. ?
I feel as tho 5-6 hours would be enough…sleep for me , it’s been a very long dry spell for that amount…
however I AM HOPEFUL!! I truly am, I know this is a process, I’ve been doing this insomnia dance for two decades, and this has BY FAR been the ‘best treatment’ plan I can live with….and no drugs!!!
so I am determined to continue on this path of Acceptance!!
Ijust need a little guidance from time to time from those ‘who have gone before me’ ☺️So stay up till 10-11??
Stay in bed longer 4-5 amDaf,
I just finished listening to your podcast with Martin…it was great!
Thanks for your honesty,it’s great to hear how well you seem to be getting along! It seems quite a few folks have been doing much better!
Thanks again to Martin, for this site,I have been helped immensely by all of you!
PamThanks Deb! I will def re read about Carlos,
One thing that’s been very difficult,and prob a big reason I’m waking so early on in the evening …?! I can’t stay awake if I’m reading or watching tv?from
6-8! It’s a constant battle of ‘head nodding’ then I try and force myself to stay up until 10 ,will fall asleep quickly,but I’m awake BY12:00,and very little bits of light sleep till I get up @ 5
And that’s been my nights of late
So Is that what’s messing me up so bad ?! We spent two weeks in israel and we are a bit out of sorts on our night and days, however with insomnia it hasn’t been as difficult for me as it has been for my poor hubby!Also I’m still doing pretty well at falling asleep rather quickly , which is awesome BUT I still am waking so many times! So the last few nights, I’ve been getting up and reading out on the couch, and sometimes falling asleep there, not in my bed… I had been staying in my bed , but I think I’d just gotten bored , and ya, maybe even a bit too irritated at times to ‘accept or welcome ‘
I need to practice this whole ACT. haha!Hey Deb!
Thanks for checking on us☺️
After doing so well, so quickly with ACT back in August, I had a really rough couple Months in Sept/October,I felt old habits come back, whilst in bed, I was finding myself getting ‘angry’ …. that I couldnt sleep ,angry that my husband was, then felt as tho maybe it wasn’t the ACT , but just my two week period of sleeping after so many weeks of ‘not!’ …
I found myself in a ‘sad place’ and that’s just not me , I’m most often , in a pretty positive place… so it was tough…
I’ve still been following this blog, because I do find it gives me hope , when reading how everyone’s doing!
I’m re-reading Guys book.. to try and really understand fully ‘what ACT is all about… for me, I would do most of my mindfulness when in bed , but I wasn’t taking the time to practice it , during the day …. so I’m going To be more proactive with implementing these tools…
did you, or do you still practice during the day?
Or just when you go to bed ?Mac, it was such a joy to read your last post!!!! It truly sounds as though, you have def turned a corner, and relaxing into this ‘acceptance’ with whatever happens! I’m so happy for you!
And Deb again, sure appreciate your Care! It means a lot!
