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You may want to get some help with implementing the therapies. CBT-I is hard to do alone without support. It can take weeks and sometimes it’s hard to keep going without encouragement and a helping hand. Martin here on this website is a terrific coach for CBT-I.
ACT is tricky. They may think you’re doing it correctly when in fact, you aren’t. It won’t work if you’re not doing it right. I got help with this. Once I got past my mental roadblocks and understood how to implement ACT correctly, it took less than two weeks to recover.
Hi Smith – There’s another type of therapy that’s not very well known, called ACT. It’s based on learning to relax in bed so that sleep naturally comes. You learn to give up all control and stop struggling to sleep, just like normal sleepers do. I used it and was successful. For the best explanation of it, check out “The Sleep Book” by Dr. Guy Meadows who developed this program. You would have to learn to calm your mind in order for it to work, but the book has techniques for helping with this.
If you can use something over the counter, that’s better. My insomnia was so bad that the only thing that worked for me was Ambien, which you need a prescription for. My regular doctor wouldn’t give it to me so I ended up going to the emergency room to finally get some. Then I found a nurse practitioner who would prescribe it for me. But like you guys said, there was a hangover from it.
Mac – since you’ve not recovered yet, why don’t you just take something on the nights before special events? I think in Sasha’s case, she was sleeping well every night and the special events were the last hurdle to get over. You’re not there yet though. If I were you I would take something like Ambien to guarantee that I sleep through the night. Then when you’re regularly sleeping well, take on the challenge of the special nights without anything.
Delv – all of here have some predisposition to insomnia. Our personalities just tend to be more anxious or “high strung.” That’s what I’ve read in Dr. Guy’s book and in others. But actually getting the insomnia is psychological and so the solution is psychological. I know you’ve said you’ve read Dr. Guy’s book many times, but something tells me you’re not practicing ACT correctly. Then you wouldn’t keep having these strings of bad nights. My sense about ACT is that when you do it correctly, over time the whole nervous system calms down concerning sleep – on both the conscious and unconscious levels. That’s how it’s been for me. I feel very calm about sleep now that I know how to practice ACT correctly. If I ever have a relapse, I’ll just relax and accept it and probably get over it very quickly. But it seems in your case, even though you’ve had successful runs, there is still some underlying anxiety which catches up with you from time to time and then you don’t have the experience of using the tools effectively to recover quickly.
I know how miserable insomnia is, so I’m happy to help if I can. Sorry you guys had bad nights. That’s great though that you’re so much more relaxed about the awakenings, Mac. Hopefully this will get better over time. It seems my healing and practice of ACT was concentrated into several whole nights in a row, while yours is for 1 or 2 hours each night stretched out over a longer period of time.
Delv – That’s great that you’ve made a lot of progress on not worrying about a lot of sleep related things. But there must still be some underlying anxiety to have these bad nights come out of nowhere. It sounds like it’s time for you to practice ACT. The great thing about ACT is that it really settles down your nervous system because it’s all about learning to relax completely about sleep.
I have to admit that during my first recovery of two months, there was still some underlying anxiety. I wondered if my recovery was “real” because it just seemed too easy, especially in comparison to other folks here. But now since my recent recovery, I feel 100% confidence that ACT works and that I can practice this again easily if needed. If don’t sleep well one night, I’ll just not worry about it because worry will only feed any insomnia. I’ll relax and expect to get back into sync again soon, just like a normal person thinks after one bad night. Also, I don’t worry about coming to this forum like some people do, who think that just being reminded about insomnia will trigger theirs to come back.
Delv – Sorry you’re having some rough nights. Hope you get better soon.
Mac – Yes, I’m fully recovered. It took about two weeks again. So I’ve been sleeping like a normal person for about one week now. I go to bed at the usual time around 11:00 and even if I’m not really tired, I fall asleep within about 20 minutes, which is normal for me. I’m back to waking around 7 to 7:30. That’s great that you were able to fall back asleep after you woke up last night. I wonder if the light you saw outside was the full moon. It jinxed you! Nah! That’s also really great you could go to sleep like a normal person when you were already tired at 9:30. Just keep doing ACT if you wake up. I think that is where your focus needs to be. If you wake up, just accept it. If your sleep is light, accept it. If you feel any frustration or anxiety creep in, let it go and then accept. Do this consistently. Consistency is really, really important! Just like you learned to be consistent with SRT, you’ve got to practice ACT consistently for it to work. If you do this your sleep should get better. And don’t worry about it during the day because that will feed any insomnia at night. Tell yourself when you get up, “I’m not too bad today” or “My sleep was decent (or even half-way decent). I can deal with this day.” That’s what I did. And then my sleep got better.
When I first started ACT, I had a lot of light sleep with lots of dreams too. Eventually it consolidated. In the meantime, at least I was falling asleep more quickly, so I could see progress. I’m not that crazy about mindfulness either, and didn’t need to practice it much because I learned pretty quickly how to get into that accepting, relaxed state of mind. Do whatever works for you to calm your mind so that you can lie peacefully in bed.
That’s great that you already can relax in bed. That’s key. The book will give you tools such as mindfulness and welcoming, that will help you let go of the worrisome thoughts during the day. This is important because these negative thoughts will only feed the insomnia at night. Even if you’re not conscious of it, it’s there beneath the surface. Your brain needs to be retrained to associate the bed with restfulness, and the daytime needs to be associated with living your life and not anxiety and dwelling on insomnia.
Lori – It seems like your overactive mind is getting in the way of your sleeping, so you’ve got to find ways to calm it down. Have you tried practicing mindfulness? It’s really calming once you get the hang of it. Do it during the daytime and then it will be easier to practice in bed when your mind gets overactive. Once your mind has calmed down, then let it drift again. Don’t keep practicing mindfulness at that point because it will keep you awake.
Another therapy for insomnia is based on ACT. The best resource on this is The Sleep Book by Dr. Guy Meadows. He also has a website. I tried it and have completely recovered. I had insomnia for 10 months.
I got insomnia in 2018 and as a result of my research have come to understand that chronic insomnia is a mental condition and cannot be healed through drugs or medical interventions. The only treatments I know of for this that work are CBT-I, cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, or ACT. For information about CBT-I read this website and also watch Martin’s videos. He also can coach you through it and is an excellent coach. For ACT the best resource is The Sleep Book by Dr. Guy Meadows. He also has a website. I first did CBT-I with Martin and got good results. Later I switched to ACT and have now recovered.
Mac – I’m over the relapse and sleeping well again. The last couple nights I wasn’t that tired when I went to bed and last night my mind was more active than usual, thinking about some music I was working on. I wondered if I would have any problem falling asleep, but I fell asleep within 20 minutes.
Steve – maybe you could do a video call during your lunch break. If you saw her, you could watch her talk as well as listen, which would help. I do that with my elderly mother now who doesn’t talk so well. If I can watch her talk as well as listen, I get most of the message.
Christie – that’s wonderful that ACT is working well for you! I know that you must feel so relieved.
Delv – too bad about the bad night, but I’m sure you’ll get back to normal soon since now you’ve got this history of many good nights behind you.
Mac – all I can think of to say is that if you’re going to take some action, call Dr. Kat. I’m sure that she has worked with difficult cases like yours. She can answer all of your questions and give you the encouragement you need. I don’t think it will help you to go back to SR, because you will still continue to have the underlying anxiety. The fact that you’re thinking all these worrisome thoughts when you wake up, shows me that there’s a lot of anxiety there. I remember how I was worried about the light sleep I was having. But because I worried about it, wondering if this was normal or if it was going to stay like this FOREVER, then it did persist. But once I talked to Dr. Kat and learned that this was perfectly normal, then I relaxed, accepted it and then my sleep got better. It just seems that you need something to help you calm down and stop worrying – whether that be drugs (anti-anxiety) or the help and encouragement of a professional who can reassure you and help you persevere when it’s difficult and you start worrying that it’s not working.
