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- February 7, 2020 at 9:20 am #35435
Mac – I’m over the relapse and sleeping well again. The last couple nights I wasn’t that tired when I went to bed and last night my mind was more active than usual, thinking about some music I was working on. I wondered if I would have any problem falling asleep, but I fell asleep within 20 minutes.
Steve – maybe you could do a video call during your lunch break. If you saw her, you could watch her talk as well as listen, which would help. I do that with my elderly mother now who doesn’t talk so well. If I can watch her talk as well as listen, I get most of the message.February 7, 2020 at 11:01 am #35439
Sounds kind of like me on my “better” bad nights. I’ll have the awakening, will feel VERY calm and will handle it well, but just can’t fall back into regular sleep. Just curious Steve what’s your window like these days? Are you too going to bed earlier than you used to? Really no way I can switch to another room anyway even if I wanted to, short of sleeping on my couch every night. No thanks. I’m going to just start practicing ACT again a little more while slightly pushing my bedtime back to see if things turn around next week. Through the ups and downs highs and (super) lows, I do hope our sleep anxiety goes away more and more. Would you at least say thing are night and day compared to a year ago Steve?February 7, 2020 at 11:51 am #35442
I am in bed for 8 hours mostly, or around there. I got to bed between 9: and 9:15 and the alarm rings at 5:!5/ On weekends. I still go to be around tat time but sometime a little later but I get up around 6:15. I would say things are better than a year ago but only because a year ago they were trying all sorts of anxiety medication on me so I was going to work and falling asleep at my desk from the hangover effect. Now I don’t go to sleep at my desk anymore but it’s still the inability to concentrate and a buzzing in my head that bothers me. That part hasn’t changed.February 7, 2020 at 3:17 pm #35443
whitelori✘ Not a client
David-I meant to thank you for writing and pointing me to the podcast. I find your method of making it 4 hours at whatever time you decide interesting. I’m glad it works for you.
To everyone else – if I have not thanked you and you have given me advice, thank you! I’m not great as giving the advice as I don’t have much positives to report yet.
Christie – that is so awesome and encouraging!
I am struggling as thought I was very accepting last night, and actually almost fell asleep, but then the arousal kicked in and I was up most of the night, until I got out of bed and went to the guest room. I think maybe I had 2 hours then early morning. Another hard thing about this is when you are almost there, and then, bang, wide awake and you lose it. I wasn’t focusing on that at all either which is so frustrating! And I understand the concept of acceptance, but again, my mind is just way too busy. I need to stay consistent I think with journaling right before I go do bed, and maybe the professional help.
I can relate to each one of your struggles, and I am just praying for everyone.
LoriFebruary 7, 2020 at 5:07 pm #35444
gsdmom✘ Not a client
This quote is from the Sleep School – hopefully it will inspire a bit more patience with ACT and recovery. I believe a few of us are at the 6 months point of practicing ACT, so maybe more improvement will be noticeable soon. I’m trying not to get so frustrated with recovery time, but I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t display a bit of frustration once and a while. For me after about 6 weeks using ACT I was able to drive longer distances out of my neighborhood due to less fatigue. At about 10 weeks, I was able to take on a simple part time job, now at 6 months into it, working more hours at a bit more complex and detailed job. So some progress…
How long will it take me to recover?
“The results of our 2015 in-house clinical study showed that significant improvements across a wide range of sleep measures occurred within just 5 weeks, including a 50% reduction in self-perceived insomnia severity. Further significant improvements were then reported at 10 weeks, and then at 6 and 12 months, all of which culminated in 86% of the participants becoming ‘normal sleepers’, despite previously suffering from insomnia for over two decades.”February 7, 2020 at 5:37 pm #35445
Good post gsdmom. Sometimes we all need a little kick and reminder that this is absolutely ‘beatable’.February 8, 2020 at 8:40 am #35448
Lori – It seems like your overactive mind is getting in the way of your sleeping, so you’ve got to find ways to calm it down. Have you tried practicing mindfulness? It’s really calming once you get the hang of it. Do it during the daytime and then it will be easier to practice in bed when your mind gets overactive. Once your mind has calmed down, then let it drift again. Don’t keep practicing mindfulness at that point because it will keep you awake.February 9, 2020 at 8:43 am #35460
whitelori✘ Not a client
Deb – Yes, thank you, you are figuring me out very well! That is my main problem as I don’t think I am not a good sleeper or worry about not getting a good night. It is just I am so conditioned to being aroused in bed. I am trying to practice mindfulness during the day and will keep working on it. I actually don’t like mindfulness at all. I find it kind of painful for lack of a better word? I just find it hard! I have been listening to meditation style music before I go up to bed which I like, and then journaling, but last I didn’t sleep well as I had very light, dream filled, unrefreshing “sleep”. I see what you mean about not practicing mindfulness all night, but to try it for a few minutes and then quit letting the mind wander.February 10, 2020 at 7:18 am #35476
When I first started ACT, I had a lot of light sleep with lots of dreams too. Eventually it consolidated. In the meantime, at least I was falling asleep more quickly, so I could see progress. I’m not that crazy about mindfulness either, and didn’t need to practice it much because I learned pretty quickly how to get into that accepting, relaxed state of mind. Do whatever works for you to calm your mind so that you can lie peacefully in bed.February 10, 2020 at 7:21 am #35477
Definitely patience with ACT. Like CBT-i, it takes time to see improvement. I think some improvement happens naturally as your body does know how to adjust when times are more/less stressful and so forth.
I had a wonderful weekend with Friday in a hotel and Saturday back at home and going to bed at midnight and out of bed around 8AM. No issues with onset, maintenance or early awakenings. Last night, another story. Onset was a little long it felt but not too bad. Was up at 3AM and just couldn’t drift back off. I was relaxed and comfy but worrying thoughts that didn’t matter would cause my mind to be alerted. “I have to take out the garbage tomorrow AM” *Body awake and alert*. Little thoughts were bigger deal than they should but I kept observing and riding out the feelings and just letting it just be. It helped keep me from getting frustrated but no sleep.
So today I am “ok” but a little zombie and clumsy and irritable. No real reason why I couldn’t fall back asleep. Sunday I was feeling more “worried” on little things especially when bored and guess translated into night. For the most part I am used to this and my sleep confidence was pretty good the last few months. A rough night or two does eat away at it to some degree. Listening to Martin and Dr Jade Wu’s talk helped as well.
Sleep is like that cute shy girlfriend. She wants to be with you but if you keep bugging her, she will run off but will return.February 10, 2020 at 3:02 pm #35486
So Deb would you say you’re definitely back on track at this point?
And Delv, good post. But just try to think… its just garbage!! Even if you didn’t take it out life will go onFebruary 11, 2020 at 6:03 am #35496
What did you mean by that? I was a little confused.February 11, 2020 at 6:08 am #35497
I simply meant that taking out the garbage shouldn’t give you big anxiety. It’s not anything crucial.February 11, 2020 at 6:47 am #35498
Last night was an interesting night for me. I was exhausted by 9:30pm and even though that’s really too early to go to bed, I went the ACT route and just said “Whatever”, let go of any weird thoughts, and got into bed. I was out cold around 15 minutes later. Then it happened. The usual case throughout the years when I’d go to bed extra early. An awakening.
At first I really didn’t want to look at the clock. I rarely ever do anymore. But by the looks of the light through my window I felt that it actually could have been close to my 6am alarm. Did I simply have a great night of sleep, I thought? I peaked at the clock and it was 3:45am. Wow, I thought. Didn’t expect it to be that bad. Still, I kept as calm as I could. Within a half hour or so I was drifting in and out of sleep until the final hour or so which I believe was uninterrupted sleep. I was woken up by my 6am alarm and got up. I am tired today, but not a zombie. The good thing about this night of sleep is that it was a pretty big step seeing as how I was able to fall back asleep after waking at that time. Typically, if its after 3am I can rarely ever fall back. Last night I did. Hopefully this was all just another step in the journey and another ‘piece to the puzzle’ of getting fully healed.February 11, 2020 at 6:50 am #35499
Agreed. It’s not crucial at all. It’s often temporary.
Last night was another rough one. More zombie today. About 2.5 hrs of deep sleep and no idea of in and out light unrefreshing sleep. Hope I get out of this cycle soon. Doing what I am always doing, work, live, play and hope things improve quickly.