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Based on what you describe, it appears that you’re trying a lot of different tactics to try to “fix” your sleep issue, understandably so! Unfortunately, sleep is one of those rare things in life that doesn’t reward our efforts. The more we try, the more elusive sleep becomes! If you’re only going to bed when you’re truly sleepy, that’s great and I encourage you to continue that practice, along with the other CBT-I techniques.
The items you mentioned at the end of your post are really considered “sleep hygiene” elements, and although good to practice in general, they aren’t really helpful by themselves. Sleep hygiene can lead us to create these “rituals” or routines that really heighten our awareness and anxiousness about our sleep issue. They can also prevent us from engaging in enjoyable things in our life, such as having a glass of wine with dinner, going to a night-time social with our friends, etc.
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
We can’t really force sleep to happen and, in fact, the harder we try to fix our sleep issue, the more elusive it becomes. It’s the same idea with our anxiety and thoughts toward our sleep disruptions – the more we struggle with those thoughts, the more they intensify. We CAN control the sort of day we want to have though. What are some activities you enjoy – those that bring meaning to your life – that you could fill your day with instead of worrying if/when sleep will come?
CBT-I can work in just about every situation, including yours, so I’m hopeful you’ll begin exploring the techniques mentioned in the resources on this site and Martin’s YouTube channel. If you’re feeling relaxed while lying in bed, you’re more than welcome to remain there as long as it feels good. When you become anxious and frustrated, it’s recommended to remove yourself from bed to prevent a conditioned arousal to build.
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
We’re glad to have you! I implemented all the CBT-I techniques when I was experiencing insomnia. Like you, if it was on the Internet, I tried it but nothing had long lasting results except CBT-I. You might find Martin’s resources on this site and his YouTube channel to be beneficial in restoring your sleep and if you have any questions along the way, simply ask.
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi @susank, welcome!
Moving to another country can be a daunting and anxious – also exciting – life event for anyone! Do you feel like some anxiousness about the move could be causing your sleep disruptions? Can you describe an average night for you – what time do you go to bed, what time do you wake in the morning and how many hours do you achieve?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi, welcome to the forum!
It’s not too surprising that you haven’t had long term success with sleep medication since pills don’t tackle the root cause of our sleep issue – our thoughts and behaviors toward our sleep. Are you currently implementing CBT-I techniques, which do address those root causes?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome, @Inga!
How are you determining you’re not getting “deep sleep”? It’s my understanding that’s determined by participating in a sleep study where they monitor brain activity. What’s your current challenges with your sleep – can you describe a typical night?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You bring up some very good points about our thoughts and how they seem to take control. As you mentioned, we have much less control over our thoughts and feelings than we would like, however, we do have A LOT of control over our actions toward them. The thought itself really isn’t the problem, is it? It’s when we decide to fight, avoid or control it that causes us to not feel good and it’s that struggle that perpetuates our sleep issue. When you have those unhelpful thoughts, what if you greeted it differently instead of wanting it to go away or putting up a fight against it. Greet it with, “Thank you, mind!” and return to what you were doing when it arrived or focus on your breath for a few seconds and allow it to exist for as long as it wants to hang out. Using this technique may not work the first time or the first several times but continue to practice it. It’s like riding a bike – the more you practice, the easier it becomes. Thoughts beg for our attention, but it’s that very attention that we give it that fuels and intensifies it. You can’t prevent thoughts from arriving but just because they appear doesn’t mean we have to give them attention.
As you stated, what’s considered “perfect sleep”? Just because you had a poor night of sleep shouldn’t determine the type of day you’ll have. For example, what if you got 0 hours of sleep tonight but woke up to news that you won a $10 million lottery? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that your day is probably going to be pretty good, right?
Hope that helps,
Scott J—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @micpoc, welcome!
What time do you usually go to bed at night, when do you get out of bed to start your day in the morning, and how many hours of sleep would you say you get on an average night?
When you wake in the middle of the night, what is your reaction, if any, to that awakening and what do you do after you wake?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi Ilay,
Thanks for sharing your story. Are there other activities that you would enjoy doing instead of taking a 2 hr nap during the day, which significantly reduces your sleep drive and, as you mentioned, can affect your sleep? Are you currently implementing CBT-I techniques?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello, @JustBeckyIt!
Hopefully you’re finding the information and resources on this site helpful. What is the biggest challenge you face with sleep? Our mind does an excellent job of alerting us about possible fight or flight situations but it’s up to us to determine how we react to those thoughts. What do you believe your mind is doing to find tricky ways to control sleep?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, @Ritz! I’m glad to see that you’re finding the resources beneficial!
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Milko,
When those unhelpful thoughts arrive, how do you react or respond to them? Remember, thoughts are truths so you shouldn’t believe everything you think. In fact, thoughts usually aren’t the problem for our anxiety, it’s when we start to identify with and believe them that’s the issue.
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi, welcome! Ironically, those who experience insomnia are considered “tired but wired” so it’s not unusual for you to feel that way. Do you think it’d be more beneficial if you carved time out of your day to draft a “to do” list instead of worrying about it when you wake in the middle of the night? Writing down your concerns during the day to reduce the anxiety at night might be helpful. Anxiety and the negative thoughts you might be experiencing about your sleep probably isn’t the cause of your not being able to fall back to sleep but your reaction to those thoughts when they arrive. Do you find yourself trying to avoid or fight them when they arrive? If so, do you think it’d be more beneficial to allow those thoughts to exist for as long as they want to hang out and for you to engage in an activity that’s more enjoyable or meaningful in your life instead?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m glad to hear your sleep has improved! As you stated, having a consistent “get out of bed” time is important in overcoming your sleep disruptions.
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi Emily,
Welcome to the forum! Sleep disruption after having a baby can be expected but our sleep is usually restored once the baby begins to have a normal sleep pattern. If we begin to change our thoughts and behaviors toward our sleep when we experience a couple of nights of poor sleep, it can perpetuate the issue though. Are you going to bed when your baby is or only when you’re sleepy? When you’re awake, do you engage in activities that you enjoy or are you finding yourself battling unhelpful thoughts about sleep?
Scott J
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
