[lowercasebecky1952]

first,you are being introduced to the reason my handle is what it is,only today it is for a much different reason! as most insomniacs can attest,we take sleep when and where we find the opportunity. that's exactly what i did last night! i fell asleep in my wheelchair, and felt rested, if a little stiff this morning when i awoke the first time around 3 am. just one tiny problem: i found i couldn't move my left hand. i didn't panic, i convinced mtself that it was asleep, and i went back to sleep. nothing i could do about it any way. when i awoke again at 8 am, it was still dead. here it is almost 4 pm and no change. i'm still not in a panic, as i've had this happen before. the last time, it lasted for about three months. i hope that's not the case this time.

i am 59 and have been married for forty years. we have a daughter and a son and 6 grandkids. my husband and i live in a small town in new mexico. my husband suffered a near fatal heart attack last april, which hasn't improved my insomnia in the least. he underwent a quintuple bypass and has been declared 100% disabled. i,ve been disabled for more than 14 years, and in a wheelchair for nearly six years.

my insomnia began almost 13 years ago, after a day spent at the pool where we lived. i don't know if something happened or if it was the result of overexposure to the sun and heat,but it still continues today. i'm hopeful that someone will be able to suggest something that will work to help me sleep. i've tried pills. ambien doesn't work at all. neither does lunesta. lorazepam makes me sleep too hard and too long. i can't get a doctor to prescribe valium. and none will prescribe anything for more than two months. it takes that long for anything to work. my husband blames the internet, forgetting that we have only had a computer for the last five years. so not only do i have to fight to sleep, i also have to fight with him about why i don't sleep. i really hope i've come to the right place to help me sort it all out and find some solutions. sometimes i feel like i'm losing my mind. i need help.

[Margaret]

Dear Becky,

I don't think you will find a solution on our list but you will find sympathy which sometimes can feel pretty good. You definitely have a heavier load to carry than I do. I can't speak for anyone else. Ambien does work for me and I use it sparingly so as to give myself a break from sleepless nights once in awhile. My doctor is more than willing to give me all I want since I make one bottle last a long time.

If I were you, I would not talk to my husband about my lack of sleep since he just makes it an opportunity to find false solutions. That could change the dynamic between you two which could improve things. Of course it also might not. It is worth a try.

You can set aside the worry that you are losing your mind. You write like a very intelligent, logical person despite all the problems. You might be suffering, but you are not losing your mind.

Hope this helps a little,

Margaret

[lowercasebecky1952]

'Margaret' wrote on '21:

Dear Becky,

I don't think you will find a solution on our list but you will find sympathy which sometimes can feel pretty good. You definitely have a heavier load to carry than I do. I can't speak for anyone else. Ambien does work for me and I use it sparingly so as to give myself a break from sleepless nights once in awhile. My doctor is more than willing to give me all I want since I make one bottle last a long time.

If I were you, I would not talk to my husband about my lack of sleep since he just makes it an opportunity to find false solutions. That could change the dynamic between you two which could improve things. Of course it also might not. It is worth a try.

You can set aside the worry that you are losing your mind. You write like a very intelligent, logical person despite all the problems. You might be suffering, but you are not losing your mind.

Hope this helps a little,

Margaret

i am on my way to bed. wish me luck.

margaret, i really appreciate your response, and, yes. it does help to know that there is a group out there for people just like us. it's comforting. i hope you don't mind if i respond more fully later, as i feel like i can sleep, and i am going to try.

it's very nice to meet you. talk to you soon.

lcb

[Jane]

Hello Becky nice to meet you. 🙂

You poor love you do have a lot on your plate don't you.

I've not had to resort to any form of sleeping tablet yet thank goodness, so I can't comment on those.

What is your doctors reason for only prescribing something for 2 months? Does he understand how insomnia affects your life? Is there a more sympathetic doctor you could see?

As Margaret said, we aren't promising a solution but we can all be here with lots of sympathy and advice.

Welcome to the forum, and I hope you had a better night last night. 🙂

[lowercasebecky1952]

hi, Jane.

YAY! I got a good night's sleep. Got into bed at 11 and slept til 8:00am. Except for the problem with my hand and arm, I'm feeling Pretty good. Maybe talking about it is really going to help. It's wonderful to talk to people who understand the problem. I actually feel like crawling back into bed, but I know better. Napping is bad juju for insomniacs.

the hardest thing for me is that i constantly have to defend my problem to my husbsnd. if he comes in in the middle of the night and sees that i'm up and on the computer, he throws a fit and orders me to go to bed. Of course, I still go to bed when and if i'm ready. As a matter of fact, i can go several days without sleep. when i'm done, i just about collapse and sleep for hours, get up, eat, check my email, get cleaned up, and go back to bed and sleep for several more hours. after that, i get into a sleep pattern for a few days. Then, it starts all over again. it's a fun little disorder!

i appreciate your input. i'm beginning to believe that i'll find help here. i found this site purely by accident while researching sleep disorders. i'm so glad i took the time to stop by and check it out.

i receive medicaid, which means i have to lock in to a primary care physician. the one i have is a CNP, and while she is good at what she does, she can't do everything. a doctor from the main clinic in another town oversees the clinic here. he discourages prescribing too many pills of that nature. i have to struggle to keep my pain pulls. she's the one who is reluctant to issue those. but i think its becaus she knows she's going to have to increase the dosage in the not so distant future. i can, see specialists. but the neurologist in this town is more interested in everything but the issue at hand.

once again, thank you for your input. we'll talk again soon, i hope. til then, sweet dreams.

becky

[Martin Reed]

Hi Becky

First, welcome to Insomnia Land and thank you for introducing yourself. It's interesting that you can trace the start of your sleep problems to that day at the pool, yet it doesn't seem to have any real reason; normally when people trace back their trigger there's a stressful event or something similar in their lives.

I am sure you'll find lots of treatment ideas and options both here in the forums and on our blog. What you will DEFINITELY find is lots of support and friendship here at Insomnia Land. You most certainly do not have to suffer alone. We all have your back.

Have you looked into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by any chance?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[lowercasebecky1952]

Hello, Martin. It's nice to meet you. So far, I've recieved a very warm welcome, which i truly appreciate. As i said, i found the site quite by accident, while searching for answers to my problem. I know that probably one-third or more Americans suffer insomnia, and if everyone would own it, the numbers might be much higher. Today's fast paced society is largely to blame, i believe. And there is a stigma attached to it that prevents many from admitting it. It's easier for me to use my “friends around the world” excuse for not sleeping, rather than to admit that i can't sleep, so i'm visiting with those on the other side of the globe who are awake.

Because it is two days before Christmas, i will wait until next week to really explore the site. For now, though, it seems i've found a new home in which family members are more alike than different.

As for remembering the day it began, i can point to times in life when an event made such an impression that i will always remember it, even if i can't remember the exact date. For example, when i was 18 months old, i fell on a floor furnace grate and was burned badly enough that the doctor had to come to the house to treat me, because dressing me was too painful. It was a sunny morning and my mother was getting housework done. I took advantage when she left the room for just a moment, and i finally decided it would be ok to see what was in the hole. I crawled onto the grate and immediately began screaming. My mother came running in and pulled me up to her by one arm and was screaming, herself. Another time, at about the age of two or two and a half, while visiting my grandma, my unkle's hunting dogs, a pair of black labs, pulled me, by the short puffy sleeves of my dress, underneath the house…this was about 40 miles north of Mobile,ALA, where many old wooden homes are on pylons or stilts to save them from storm surges. My dad and my unkle grabbed each dog by the tail and yanked them off of me. My unkle told my dad that if there was a scratch on me, he'd shoot those (expletives)dogs! I heard that. It wasn't told to me. When i asked my mom about these incidents, she looked as though she was having a stroke! What i'm trying to say is that i place things in order before and after major life events, and because of that, i have a very good memory.

As for any type of therapy, i am disabled, on SSi and Medicaid. I don't know what types of therapy are or are not covered. I've done a sleep study, a brain scan, an eeg, none of which show any abnormalty. That leaves emotional problems, which i can't disagree with. But i was offered no treatment.

So, that's me in a nutshell, except to say one more thing. My insomnia has a dangerous side effect, which has put me in the emergency room too many times to count. After being awake for so long, i tend to fall asleep sitting up. When that happens, i tend to fall over onto the floor, or into objects. I have given myself not just black eyes, i once blackened the entire right side of my face, i've broken my nose and fell on it the next night, i've hurt my already badly injured back severely enough to have to leave in an ambulance, on a backboard, i cut my leg so severely that it required over 25 stitches and i lost enough blood that it made me dizzy, Wednesday afternoon, while sitting in my husband's desk chair, i began to fall over, but caught myself with my neck against my desk.

Then spent the night sleeping in my chair and woke up to find i have no use of my left hand. I think i must have pinched a nerve. I still can only use my index finger. I think that's all of it…it's enough, isn't it 😉

becky

[Margaret]

I think I can see now why your husband doesn't want you to sit up typing on the computer, Becky. He is probably seriously concerned about you falling again. I can see his point and it does show his concern and his love even though he might not say it as pleasantly as you might wish.

My insomnia is not nearly that bad. If they gave out prizes, you would definitely win first prize.

Margaret

[Martin Reed]

It definitely sounds like doctors need to spend more time with you to tackle your sleep deprivation. I've long gone on about how dangerous insomnia can be over on the blog, but you're a perfect example of why the condition needs to be taken more seriously. I think you should at least investigate cognitive behavioral therapy – unfortunately I suspect it won't be covered by your insurance (which I think is criminal when you consider how many people the therapy helps), but it's worth looking into.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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