[hiker]

First off, by accepting insomnia I do not mean you are giving up and resigning yourself to a lifetime of poor sleep.

I have been dealing with insomnia for over 40 years. Not every night, but frequently. The reasons are not important right now. This does not mean you will have it for a long time, too. I mention it only to emphasize that I have picked up some tips on how to deal with it. Maybe this will help you.

—If you are dealing with a specific stressful situation (at this writing, we all are–Covid-19), know that you have “situational insomnia” which likely will resolve itself when the situation passes.

—You may be noticing that your thoughts are getting weird, maybe you feel paranoid, your mind scattered and racing, maybe wishing you were dead. You are not going crazy. These thoughts are normal under the circumstances. Don’t take them seriously, even if they seem compelling. (Exception: if you are dwelling on suicide a lot, google Crisis Line in your community. In fact, promise yourself you will call.)

—The fact that you slept poorly last night, maybe the last several nights, does not guarantee you will sleep poorly tonight. Guess what, there are no guarantees either way. And if you are thinking how am I going to deal with tomorrow if I don’t sleep well tonight? You don’t have to. The only thing on your plate is dealing with this moment.

—In case that sounds spacey or simplistic, example: I was on vacation in Maui in 2004. I woke up early feeling awful after several nights of poor sleep, location didn’t matter…. I focused on tying my left shoe. Not both shoes. Turns out I went on to tie my right shoe and got up and out. Not all the moments after the left shoe saga have seemed unbearable. Actually there have been some pretty good ones, too.

—I have not slept well the last few nights. I am acknowledging to myself that “I’m tired.” Not “I’m tired and how am I going to do all these tasks today” or “I’m tired and I can’t handle this anymore” or “I’m tired and life is f—-d.” Just “I’m tired.” No more, no less.

—Nope, there are no easy platitudes or cure-alls. But try to be easier on yourself–and don’t try to sleep. Sleep will take care of itself. I hope you rest well soon.

[hiker]

Hi Martin, I wrote the above (“Accepting that you can’t sleep right now”) before checking out your site in more detail. It certainly looks like you have helped a lot of people. Maybe me, too.

[Martin Reed]

As you pointed out so well:

1. Sleep disruption is completely normal at times of stress, worry, or uncertainty.

2. Thoughts are just thoughts! Thoughts are not facts.

3. A bad night of sleep (or a string of bad nights) actually increases the likelihood of a better night due to the build-up of sleep drive (but it’s helpful to see each night as a fresh start with no expectations).

4. We have a lot more control over the quality of our day than how we slept the previous night — and daytime performance is less connected to sleep than we might believe.

5. Abandoning all sleep effort and giving insomnia and sleep as little attention as possible is a great way to improve sleep and begin the process of getting rid of insomnia.

Thanks for sharing your insights!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

Posts