[Deb]

Yes I am nowhere near where I was before. Thankfully these relapses are always short and within a day or two I’m sleeping pretty regularly. I don’t worry about them and then they go away by themselves.

[gsdmom]

Hi Mac,

So sorry your work triggered the insomnia episodes again. But at least you know you are not completely broken as you were able to enjoy several weeks of restorative sleep! It may take much longer than I expected to be able to remove the anxiety associated with sleep too. I still live in a toxic household, but my response to it is getting better, milder. I’ve also had seasonal, on / off type jobs, and starting another tomorrow. Once I get the flow of the job schedule I do seem to sleep better. But after it ends, then sleep issues start again, probably because my mind is more focused on the home environment and obtaining job training while on break.

I was doing very well the end of August into most of September, and for 3 weeks in a row slept about 8.5 hours a night, that is more hours than before insomnia. I was feeling fantastic! Then my job ended, and with the time off I probably pushed myself too much cleaning and organizing things around the house one day and really injured/inflammed my neck. The pain, nausea and headache associated with the injury lasted 3 days, it was difficult to sleep and it caused a relapse for 3 weeks. Only the last couple nights have I been to relax for sleep again. Hope your ability to relax improves day by day, and your “bad phases” become shorter and shorter.

[Mac0908]

Thanks for the reply Gsdmom. Very nice to hear that you have been in a decent place with sleep as opposed to the last time we spoke, even though you’ve recently experienced a relapse too, it seems. I know all about external issues that can cause a relapse. Whether it’s been physical like a sunburn or just me being flat out sick, or mental as in dealing with some sort of anxiety over a traumatic event (i.e. loss of a loved one) it seems people like us really do need the right conditions to put ourselves in a position to have good nights of sleep.

I’m still suffering over here. This is by far my longest relapse since I recovered during all those months while working from home. Difference now is it has carried over to the weekend a bit which I know is not a good thing, even though I can’t be too surprised. Really not sure if there’s anywhere to turn right now other than just to relaxation and more ACT. I know this relapse will eventually pass, but god it just brings me down so much experiencing such a bad phase of sleep for the first time in such a long time.

I guess I just need to find a way to look at the positives, right? Once upon a time I had anxiety through the roof about sleep and everything associated with it. Now when I have a bad night and even a bad phase this lengthy, I just view it as “This sucks”. Oh well, not much else to do other than to sleep it out, so to speak.

[NikkiB]

Hi Deb and gang, I’ve been reading your posts about your ACT journey and found it helpful. I love how some of you did the journey together and was able to share your experience and support each other. I bought the sleep book back in April and have been trying to use this approach on and off since. I have been suffering with a pretty bad case of insomnia since March this year and as the time goes on I’m feeling less optimistic about recovery. I managed to get a week of good sleep the begining of September using the ACT method until I had the self sabotaging thoughts what if it returns, what if I can’t control my anxiety again etc and hey presto back to the beginning and I then give up on it. I guess I’m still not getting the acceptance part which I know is the key thing here. I also think I was confused thinking I was accepting but really I was just pretending that I was ok with it and not allowing myself to acknowledge I was feeling fear.
I’m going to try again with this and if there’s is anyone else out there wanting to try the ACT approach and go through it together, that would be great!

Thanks for your inspiration
Nikki

[taylor45]

Hey all!

Sorry in advance for the long post

I was subscribed to this forum back in March and wanted to check in. The start of November marked a year since my insomnia started. It was really bad and getting through this has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.
However, I can say now that I am 95% back to normal, and I felt like I should come on here and try to explain what worked for me.
When my insomnia first started it was awful. 2-3 nights in a row sometimes of little to no sleep. The anxiety was horrible and I would spend all day and night getting these awful adrenaline rushes and constantly shaking just out of fear of not sleeping. This then transitioned into an average of 2 nights a week with no sleep, some nights of that week with mediocre sleep, and some nights with decent sleep. to say the least, it was bad.
I just want to say that it is a JOURNEY. The idea of acceptance was hard for me to grasp for a long time and there was no AHA moment where it just hit me. It was gradual.

Here is what works for me:
-I went back to my normal routine before the insomnia started. I set my iPad up in bed and watch friends for a while until im tired. I don’t worry about the blue light stuff because that really is not what was causing my insomnia.
– when I turn off friends, I just turn over, close my eyes, and let my brain think about what it wants. if it wants to worry about not getting sleep, fine whatever let it worry.
– I understand what is out of my control. doing things to help me sleep just makes it worse. being worried about the fact that I am not sleeping makes it worse. knowing that there is nothing I can do when my brain just won’t sleep really helps. I just lay there and remind myself that either way, I will be laying here. I can lay here anxious about not sleeping, or I can lay here and be calm about it. Which way sounds more appealing? THIS TOOK A LOT OF PRACTICE and patience with myself.
– I DO NOT make up characters or name the emotions or physical feelings that I am getting. This gets my brain too active and it just never did anything for me.
– I appreciate that I have 8+ hours to just lay in my dark room and have quiet time for myself.
– if I get too anxious (sometimes this does happen where my brain just goes into PTSD mode because of how bad the insomnia used to be) I get up and get school work done. Why not be productive? I know this is more of a CBT technique but I only do this when I really get anxious.
– I think what did the most for me is thinking about other people that don’t get much sleep. I know this sounds weird. But professionals like doctors and nurses often have tons of weird shift changes and weird sleeping patterns. when doctors are on call in a hospital they often only get a few hours of sleep if any. In fact my neighbor caught someone breaking into my car at night because he is a doctor and barely sleeps. But he is a happy guy. For most of these people, it doesn’t really bug them because they are passionate about what they do and they keep themselves busy. They are probably tired but its not a huge deal. Its uncomfortable but you won’t lose your mind and you can still be productive. I think we catastrophize not sleeping and thats what makes insomnia so terrible.
-when I get bad sleep I just go about my day normally. I see friends, do my school work, go to work. Don’t baby yourself. this just feeds the insomnia.
-if I have a bad night sleep, I am forgiving of myself and understand this doesn’t mean I am set back to the beginning. even if I have many nights of bad sleep in a row. stay calm and have faith your sleep will go back to normal and just don’t obsess over it.
– I cover my clock. I know this goes against acceptance a bit, but this is something that has really worked for me. I check my phone before I go to sleep then I turn it over and cover my alarm clock. I have a rule that I can’t check it again until my alarm is going off, or until it is bright outside. In the mean time I will just chill in my bed if I am not asleep and not get my anxiety up by counting the hours I have left to sleep. This especially helps when I wake up in the middle of the night and start to worry if I will be able to fall back to sleep. If I dont check my clock I often find im back to sleep before I know it.

I think finally its just really important to understand that overcoming your insomnia is not some technique that either works or does not work. ACT is a concept and a mindset more than a technique.

I am not worried that the insomnia will come back full force or that all of my progress will disappear one day. This is because my mindset has changed and I am learning and growing. This isn’t a technique that will work one day and not the next. It is a learning and healing process. I used to really worry that the insomnia would come back and felt super insecure about any progress made. This was mostly when I used ACT as a technique to help me sleep rather than changing my mindset and lifestyle and attitude towards insomnia. Like I said, this was a long process and I had to be patient.

Don’t give up and let insomnia take over your life. Also, don’t let obsession over sleep rule your life either. There is so much life to live and being awake is a blessing also.
I haven’t had a no sleep night since June. in the last month, 95% of the nights I have slept really well. the other 5% are ok with 5-6 hours of sleep. Just stay calm about sleep, stop obsessively counting the hours of sleep you got, know that your body will take care of you, your mind WILL recover, just give it time.

In a weird way, insomnia has made me appreciate life more. I feel stronger for having gone through this.

I am now graduating from college in December and applying to nursing school. I have days where I get up early to work and am mostly unphased by this, and my days are productive. If anyone has any questions let me know. However, I am going to drop off of this forum again in a few days.

[Tee]

Hi deb, gsdmom, Mac0908 and others. I have been following this group for months now and reading of your progress and setbacks
Actually since my episodes, it was debs post that sensitized me to ACT. It has worked on and off for me. But for the past two weeks, I’ve gotten better at accepting and as such my anxiety and panic attacks are way less, thus improving my sleep. I thank you all for your help though you did not know… lol.
NikkiB…… I would love to try the approach with someone. Actually I look forward to it.
taylor45…… I’d also like to chat a bit more with you.
Thanks again
Tee

[Mac0908]

Long time no speak everyone! Just an update- Very shortly after my last post on October 24th, I started coming out of my awful relapse. Now some two months later I have been sleeping very well ever since.

[Deb]

Yay, Mac! So glad you’re doing well again. Are you still getting up at six, but not having any problems with it now?

I’m doing well too.

[Mac0908]

Deb I will be honest with you… We were sent back home from work in early October after someone in our office got a serious case of Covid. Looks like we will stay home until early next year at this point. So it’s no question that my transition into sleeping well again had to do with this. Two weeks or so into being home I was able to kick my relapse and have been joyfully sleeping until 7-7:30 again most days.

Deb I think I’ve realized this is just who I am and how I live. I simply am not built for and do not do well with wakeups as early as 6am (who does, really?). While working from home this year it’s been a beautiful thing feeling human again. Looking into the mirror without super dark circles and going about my day feeling refreshed. As opposed to dreadfully waking at that 6am alarm and forcing myself in the shower and driving to work exhausted. Instead of going to bed and trying to hit the hay around 10-10:30, now it’s been 11-11:30. It’s just my body. This was the way I was before I started my 6am wakeup job too. As you may remember me saying sometimes, I was far from a perfect sleeper before my insomnia began with this job, years ago. NEVER was I truly comfortable with 6am.

It just is what it is at this point. I’ve learned a lot. 2020 as bad as it has been has also been a blessing in disguise and the realization that I simply need to get another job with a better schedule. The last 1-2 years before I went to work from home as much as Insomnia was still the issue it was really the 6am wakeup calls that held things in place. Once I started working from home and waking later, everything changed. Not too hard to figure it all out. It probably won’t be good again when I return to the office. So, for now I’m enjoying life again and enjoying sleeping again. But I know it’s time to make a change because I’ve figured out all the problems.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Mac0908.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Mac0908.

[Deb]

Yes, sounds like you need a new job. It’s worth the sleep!

[R.E.M]

Hi everyone

I’ve recently started using the DARE approach for my insomnia which has helped quite a bit overnight. The issue I’m having now is that being ‘ready to accept the anxiety’ actually makes me anxious and I struggle to fall asleep which brings the anxiety (which I guess is the whole point of the DARE approach) I’m just wondering when it gets better? Has anyone else used this approach? Thanks

[Sairana]

Deb – thank you for starting this post. It has been very informative to read your and other people’s comments. I have had insomnia for 2 years now and recently it has gotten bad to a point where I have not had deep sleep in 2 weeks. Sleep onset was initially the problem but now its both onset and staying asleep.. I tried SR/SC 4 weeks ago. First two weeks I felt I made progress with going as much as 4.5 to 5 hours of sleep. But then SC got to me. My body got used to SR and I feel like now I don’t have time to even rest as SR is 5.5 hrs and supposed to consolidate sleep. Past two nights I have been trying to go to bed at 11pm and get up at 6pm. Before insomnia I used to go to bed around 10:30-11 and get up at 6:30-7. So kind of keeping 11-6 sleep window. I am able to be calm about it but both nights I have had only very light sleep.i don’t even remember how long I was awake and how long I drifted to sleep. During the day I read work, read books, try to practice mindfulness. Started to practice mindfulness during the day and acknowledging my feeling both positive and negative. Would you encourage me to keep at it even though its light sleep only right now? I don’t want to stop trying but I feel like a zombie especially after 4pm. Unable to engage in activities. I feel I lost ability to sleep.

[Tee]

Hi Sairana, take a look at the ‘Sleep School Coach’ on Youtube…… you will learn a lot as Coach Daniel talks about sleep anxiety and acceptance. Great Stuff. Give it a listen, you have nothing to loose. coach Martin also appears on his show. Has helped me lots. You can ask questions in real time or send emails and you will always get a response.

[Tee]

Hi R.E.M…. now hearing about it. I will look it up. Im using this acceptance approach… I have improved a lot.

[Sairana]

Thanks TEE. I will take a look at the video

[Author]

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