[NikkiB]

Hi Tee,
Sorry I never got back to you before. I was doing well with my sleep and didn’t want to rock the boat by coming on the forum and discussing. I’m glad you’re doing well with the ACT. I’m getting there too. I’ve had a few relapses but the main thing is I’m working towards acceptance and changing my whole view. Takes a lot of practice and time. Thanks for the tips about the YouTube channel, that’s great they offer the chance to ask questions and reply.

[NikkiB]

Hi Sairana,
I wrote out a long post for you but it seems that it’s waiting for moderation at the moment! I hope it posts soon ?

[NikkiB]

Hi R.E.M
I’ve not heard of the DARE approach. Acceptance can be hard and may take time. I’ve been working on it for a fair few months but I’m getting there and my sleep is definitely improving. Just keep at it and bring the anxiety and tiredness for the ride in the meantime (although easier said than done) ?

[Sairana]

Thank you. I will read it when I get a chance. I am tempted to take pills which I have never just to get a couple of days break but I am saying in my mind, Hey Pills thought thanks but no thanks.

[NikkiB]

Sarina, Yes it’s very tempting when you’re on your knees. At my lowest point I was going 3 days no sleep and then taking a pill then 3 days no sleep etc. In the end I found it just hampered the process but don’t be hard on yourself if you need them at the moment especially if anxiety is high and you’re still learning the mindfulness tools. I was taking them intermittently once or twice a week up until November this year just to give me a break until I was able to get at least some sleep without them. It’s amazing how long you can go with little sleep and the body still keeps going. It’s a process with the ACT and it can take time to reach acceptance and that’s ok. Others reach it sooner others don’t. You’re not alone ?

[NikkiB]

Hi Sairana,
Sorry to hear you’re struggling so much at the moment with your sleep. It’s a very tough Journey as most people with it know only too well. I have been struggling myself since march and have tried ACT on and off with varying success. I have suffered severely with this going nights on end with no sleep, then maybe getting some light sleep, then having disrupted sleep you name it. I truly thought I had lost the ability to sleep, that I had broken my brain but this is not true! Since November though I have been doing much better and although I still have relapses my sleep is way better than before.The key here is I was using the tools to TRY and sleep. I was even kidding myself in believing I was calm and accepting but I wasn’t deep down. This is more of a mindset, the tools used are to help you to come to a place of acceptance and this can take time. It’s very challenging and difficult especially when you’re so anxious about getting the sleep, but know there are many of us that have been here. Dragging ourselves through the day, feeling like you’re on the edge of existence, feeling completely hopeless. You CAN come through this though. It might take a little longer than you’d hope for but just take the exhaustion and anxiety for the ride and get on with your day as best you can. If you have anxious thoughts about sleep let them be there but don’t engage with them. If it brings anxiety let it be there, it will pass. The more you fight the tighter it grips. This was the key for me. Use the time in bed to focus on relaxation and the tools not as a goal to sleep but to simply relax. Once you do this the sleep will eventually follow. I’m still working towards full acceptance but I am suffering from health anxiety on top of this so it will probably take a bit more work for me. My sleep is now in a more manageable place, I am no longer going without any sleep and my bad nights are now at least 5 hours although they can be broken still. You’ve got this! You’re not alone ?

[Sairana]

Thank you NikkiB for taking the time to encourage me and talk. I am glad you persevered and its working out for you. I am trying to persevere also. I will keep practicing mindfulness and the tools. Whenever discomfort or anxious thoughts or emotions come I talk to it and accept it. Only thing I am doing differently now is as I am lying in bed I focus on my touch points with the pillow, bed, and blanket. And if anxiety creeps in I acknowledge it. I also keep my eyes closed the whole time as I thought that will rest my eyes. Even though I didn’t sleep much these past 2 days I feel calmer but tired. I might experiment with melatonin just to see if I can go to sleep faster but not depending on it. Will check in a few weeks to give an update

[gsdmom]

Hi everyone,

Since my last relapse in October I’ve been doing better. All the practice (ACT,acceptance, mindfulness) over the past year has helped in most every area of my life. First of all my employment status has changed frequently, especially with Covid, I’ve had odd and intermittent jobs. Thinking about Mac, I’m grateful I don’t have to wake up too early, I can wake up naturally about 7am, mostly from my pets. My jobs have been lower paying, but I chose employment close to my home with only a 5 minute commute to keep the stress down. Often I do need to work later in the day, ending at 7pm-11pm, but am able to go to sleep within 2 hours of getting home, which is great as I mostly had sleep onset issues. I think if I were in Mac’s situation about having to wake up to an alarm with strict time limits, I may not have improved as much.

I had been using Ambien to help with sleep onset, but was very uncomfortable taking it. I decided to just accept that I needed Ambien and did not worry about any addiction and so forth. I wanted to be gentle with my body, and after having sleep deprivation for so long, I thought I might be better for focus on getting sufficient sleep. I practice good sleep hygiene and took 1/2 Ambien a night for 7-10 nights. I was sleeping well, 6-9 hours night. Then I took 1/4 Ambien a night for almost a month. I don’t think it did much, more of a psychological support, but it worked and still slept very well. Its been about 3 weeks seldom using Ambien except for 2 nights. Still sleeping between 6-9 hours a night, and 1-2x a week still get into that light sleep mode.

My whole life I loved to read before bed, however I’m afraid that might be still be too stimulating, so most nights I fall asleep with my ear buds, usually listening to a monotone audible book, or a YouTube video (no music) and I have a regular sleep hypnosis/meditation I listen to. These have been good tools as often I feel I have not slept, but by waking up and looking at the timing on the book or video I can see I’ve been sleeping for at least an hour or more. If I feel awake, I tell myself it feels good just to rest in bed, and usually I fall asleep again within 10-60 minutes.

After discovering some very upsetting truths about my mother and upbringing, I studied Attachment Trauma, and learned that my brain and nervous system could have been rewired or damaged from childhood neglect. Just the acceptance and understanding of this was very helpful to just be able to relax in bed, and accept my physiology. I am not angry, just grateful to understand why the way my body reacts. The childhood issues probably doesn’t apply to most of you, but hopefully you can relate to the relaxing and acceptance part of this experience.

Sairana – being able to just relax in bed and conserve my energy for the next day was a huge break through for my improvement. Please have patience, you will slowly get better. Here’s to better sleep for everyone in 2021!

[NikkiB]

So sorry to hear that gsdmom ? I can definitely relate. The good news is that the neural pathways to the frontal lobe can be healed with time and mindfulness and meditation is one way this can be done. If you haven’t seen already, check out Tara brach videos on YouTube on healing from trauma ?
Good to hear that you’re doing well with your sleep, relaxation and acceptance.
May 2021 be a kinder year with more peace of mind for us all ?

[Sairana]

Thank you for the advice and sorry you had to go through the Trauma. Glad to hear you are doing so much better.

I feel like I am calmer. Maybe subconsciously my mind still dwells on sleep in the evening. I felt really sleepy and kind of dozing off at 10:45pm. My normal mindset was to drag till 1130 and then go to bed. But yesterday I went straight to bed and used the tools to feel touch of the pillow and bed and comforter. I believe I went to light sleep immediately. My wife told me she heard me snoring at 1230. I felt I went in and out but from 3:30 to 545 I kind of stayed in bed and being calm about it and accepting my wakefulness. I am tired as hell but feel that long term this is the right step. I just wish I got like one or two good nights just 4 or 5 hours of deep sleep. It’s sometimes harder to practice it during day but I try to persevere. Hope 2021 turns out to be the year I beat insomnia. Keeping that belief. In the short term it is hard. I will try melatonin to see if it helps with sleep onset just for the short term when I have gone through 3 or 4 nights with no deep sleep at all.

[Sairana]

NikkiB,
First 3 days were a nightmare but I stuck on. Next couple of days were easier. The sleep was still light but I made peace with it. I pretended to enjoy my insomnia and not minding it and that seems to have worked.blast couple of days I had deep sleep on the sofa before my sleep window. For an hour and then went to my bed. I feel I am getting deep sleep for an hour and light sleep for the rest of the night. I definitely see the benefit in not fighting the insomnia and accepting the thoughts and emotions as they come. Let’s see how it goes. So far I have been able to avoid taking pills. But feel I am in a better place this week than the previous week.

[NikkiB]

Sairana, that’s great that you’re feeling more relaxed in bed and managing to get some deep sleep. The more you accept the thoughts and feelings and allow them to be there and not struggle against them, the more your brain and nervous system will not react to them. This will promote further relaxation as time goes and your sleep will follow. Your training your brain not to automatically react sleeplessness and to choose relaxing in bed instead. You got this ?

[Sairana]

Just when I was getting used to it life throws a curve ball. Had some personal issues crop up which screwed with the sleep as I was anxious and stressed out all day and that remained at night. Last night I feel like I didn’t sleep at all but there must have been some light sleep. Even though I tried to calm myself I felt the days stress beat my efforts at calming down. Hoping to be able to cope tonite. Been able to do mindfulness little bit in the morning but not as much I would like to.

[NikkiB]

Sorry to hear this has set you back Sairana. I’m having a setback myself unfortunately and have had a couple of nights with no sleep at all. Very hard to keep the anxiety down and not catstrophise but I’m going to try and go on with my day as best I can. Fingers crossed for us both.

[Sairana]

Sorry to hear that NikkiB. I hope you will be able to get over it. I will be rooting for you today. it’s been 4 days since I have deep sleep. I feel like i have not slept in 4 days or just light sleep. I have never been in this situation before. usually couple of nights and I am able to get over it. I feel like i am able to sleep when I struggle but when I try to be calm i am not getting it. I don’t know if that makes any sense. Seeing my doc today for some ambien but still trying to not take it and see this through. During the day i am able to manage till evening time and evening time i am too exhausted to relax and wait till 10:30pm to go to bed. I try not to think of the past or predict future but i feel like i am in zombieland right now. Daytime i am able to welcome and accept my anxiety and not indulge in them. its stronger at night. I still try to accept and welcome and not engage but its getting too much in the night. Earlier i would get out of bed be frustrated and after 2 or 3 hours of fighting with myself i would sleep. THis is keeping me calmer but i feel like i am not progressing. I have an appointment with Dr Kat on the 27th. I am thinking of taking a sleep pill for a night or two. i know this hampers the progress but i see no way out unless i get some decent quality sleep.
Here’s to us hanging in there.

[Author]

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