[Steve]

Hi Andy. When you say you bought the Insomnia Coach Program, do you mean Martin’s paid course? You are really not supposed to have less than a 5.5 hour SW as that is the core amount of sleep that you need. I know you aren’t getting that at first but try to relax as you will build up to that. It can take time. At the least, when you are up doing SC, you will be building your sleep drive for the next night so you can sleep longer. How long have you been doing SR?

[Mac0908]

Good morning everyone. Steve, Deb, delv etc. Just wanted to report back after perhaps my longest hiatus as I promised to never disappear before a success story. While I don’t have a full blown success story I can tell you all that I have been sleeping much better over the last month or so, better than I have in a long, long time. I have even gotten to a point on several nights of going to bed earlier than normal and still not waking until my alarm. That’s huge for me.

With the more and more success, the underlying anxiety has eased and its been great a lot of days. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had some semi-rough nights but overall, plenty more good than bad. ONE area however that I continue to still struggle in, and its an area that Sasha Stephens said was her last to truly conquer, is the getting a good night before a special event. Simply put – if I have something of significance going on the next day after work (i.e. a date, a hang out with a friend, etc) the anxiety seems to creep back up more, and I’ve found myself having a bad night. This has been very upsetting to me bc of course THESE are the nights I need good sleep the most! It’s just amazing how it happens, too. Recently for example I was on a kick of what seemed like a solid week STRAIGHT of good sleep. Then came a night where I had plans the next day. I felt I would still be ok with sleep but wouldn’t you know it, an early awakening occurred. Not sure what time exactly as I didn’t look at the clock and stayed calm, but the point is, my sleep was disrupted, and I didn’t exactly fall back into a deep sleep. I ended up feeling pretty bad the next day.

Then next thing I know, the following night wasn’t the greatest either. A domino effect so to speak, like we all know about, was happening. I don’t even think there is any great advice, or any special tools to use to tackle “special event insomnia” either. I think I just have to roll with the punches and continue going with the flow. Hope for more and more good nights that ultimately one day lead me to the promise land of absolutely close to zero underlying anxiety.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Mac0908.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Mac0908.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Martin Reed.

[Steve]

Well, another somewhat tough night for me. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t get to sleep soon after I went to bed. I know I finally went to sleep as I remember the dreams but I really don’t know how long I slept for. I don’t feel too bad this morning. I do accept whatever sleep I get but there is a small part of me during the day that worries I will start getting fragmented sleep again. At night, I am mostly comfortable and relaxed. I don’t toss and turn but do look at the clock every now and then. I mostly just lay there and use some of the tools when I wake up and can’t get back to sleep. And if I still can’t get back to sleep after say 10 minutes, then I just lay there and let my mind wander. I do notice that when I started ACT, I wasn’t worried about the alarm going off in the morning but now I do somewhat. Not a lot but a little. For those of you doing ACT, how long are you staying in bed? I am in bed now 7 hours but really wish I could go to bed an hour earlier and make it 8 hours while still getting up with the alarm at 5:15. I am just so tired at night from staying up until 10:15. Unfortunately, that tiredness isn’t translating into more sleep. Not yet anyway. Hopefully soon.

[Steve]

Mac – Glad you are sleeping better even with the “special event” insomnia. I wouldn’t know what to do about that, either. Just be glad you are getting the sleep on the other nights.

Deb – Thanks for staying with us here on the board for encouragement. I know others who have achieved success tend to leave and we really do need the encouragement. So thank you.

[Dreyo86]

Hi Steve, yes I am on the paid course.I just feel that doing nothing for 3-4 hours makes things just as bad. I have been only on a one week streak of 11:30pm-5am, I know thats not long enough, but surely sleeping 2 hours every night would in itself build up sleep pressure? It is insanely hard to get through a shift at work, am gonna tell my boss I’m quitting in a few weeks because I just straight ill. What do other people do in the night when they can’t sleep that ‘somehow’ helps them get back to sleep, I need to know.
Thanks
Andy

[Steve]

Hi Andy. Unfortunately, there is no magic bullet that people use to get back to sleep. If there was, there wouldn’t be anyone with insomnia out there. Me included. What I suggest you do, is to e-mail Martin with your questions as his support is one of the things that you are paying him for. (I would also ask him to change your status from “Not a Client” to “Client” as that is what it should read once you paid.) Only sleeping 2 hours every night is not necessarily enough to build up your sleep drive. That is one of the things Martin can help you with. He is very good at what he does.

[Deb]

Steve – I’m glad to help out because I know how miserable insomnia is, having had it for 9 months myself. I know that some people say they just don’t want to come back to the forum once they’re doing better, because it can trigger their insomnia just by thinking about it. Also of course, they want to forget the nightmare which I completely understand! But it seems with ACT, because it deals directly with anxiety, I feel no anxiety at all talking or thinking about insomnia, even after I’ve recovered.

Mac – So great to hear from you and to know that you’re doing well! You might want to try some of the ACT tools to help calm yourself at night before a special event. Some of the folks here have been using them and it’s worked well to decrease their anxiety.

Andy – I did CBT-I for 4 months but was frustrated because I still felt the underlying anxiety was always there and I was consistently having 2 bad nights a week. I switched over to ACT because it gets to the core of the problem and deals directly with our anxiety. It took several starts and stops but once I understood what I was doing and fully committed myself, I recovered in less than two weeks.

[Steve]

Deb – I can see where you are coming from about the anxiety. I am wondering if I still have anxiety some because I am still wondering if I should do away with the 7 hour SW and go with an 8 hour sleep, which is what I did before the insomnia hit? I just don’t know since I am still only getting 4 to 5 hours of sleep which would mean I would be spending 3 to 4 hours in bed awake. I am just so afraid it would go into fragmented sleep again. I am not really tossing and turning when I do lay in bed but I am sometimes so tired in that 9:15 to 10:15 time period when I could be in bed but am waiting for the 7 hour SW to start. I just don’t know if I want to fully commit yet and that could be where some anxiety lays. I really have to think about this. I do keep practicing my ACT tools throughout the day and I really try to accept what sleep I get. And I really notice the anxiety is reduced from what it was. It is just obviously taking me a lot longer. I do know I can’t go back to strict SR/SC as my sleep was actually getting worse.

[gsdmom]

Hi everyone, just posting my recent weird sleep patterns since starting ACT 8/1. The last 5 days have been extremes.
Sunday – no sleep
Monday – 8 1/4 hours sleep
Tues – no sleep
Wed – 8 1/4 hours
Thurs – trouble with sleep onset, maybe lite sleep 12:30am-1:30am. Wide awake then with panic because it seems that when I have great sleep one night, the next night I feel I have so much energy I cannot sleep. Took about an hour to reset myself, did some breathing exercises, acknowledged my anxiety and pounding heart, and grounded myself to sound of breath and feel of sheets. Then I fell into a deep sleep from about 2:30am -6:15am. My husband usually wakes up about 5am and I am not noticing him at all (I do have to wear earplugs) but in the past, he’d wake me up. About 4 3/4 hours overall.

This week is the first time since last March I have slept 8 hours. There were nights before where I would not sleep but the next night I would sleep 6-7 hours, not 8. I am also noticing that my body is less achy, no Advil for almost a week. Yesterday I felt so good I decided to visit my mother in law, she’s 94 years old and help her with paying bills and some organization. She lives an hour away and I needed to drive over one of the most challenging and dangerous stretches of highway in CA. It was the first time since my insomnia began I felt comfortable driving so far. So I hope my brain is beginning to heal as some nights I am able to sleep longer and deeper, naturally.

[Steve]

Glad to hear you are getting better nights of sleep gsdmom! Just keep using the tools and those sleepless nights should start going away. I am having trouble myself but overall, am sleeping a little better and feeling a little better the next day since I started doing ACT. One question for you again. How long are you staying in bed? What time do you go to bed at night? The same time every night?

[gsdmom]

Steve – I am going to bed between 9:30-10pm, depending on how tired I feel, thinking I will wake up at 5am, but this week when I do actually sleep, been sleeping through to 6-6:15am. So last night I went to bed at 10pm, but couldn’t sleep until about 12:30am. Still, it is so nice just to relax in bed rather than doing SC and have anxiety about getting in and out of bed and straining my eyes trying to read until sleepy.

[Deb]

Gdsmom – My first week my sleep was all over the place too with 2 sleepless nights. But then it started to stabilize and get more consistent. Glad you had some great nights with lots of energy the next day. I remember last Sunday thinking to myself after a good night of sleep, it’s great to feel wide awake! But it makes sense that there’s some anxiety about having a bad night after the good one, but just keep using the tools and I’m sure you’ll get better. I felt a little of that anxiety this past Sunday night after the great day. I wasn’t sleepy enough at the usual time when I went to bed, so I got up and read for awhile and then went back to bed and fell asleep right away.

[Featherly]

Looks like I’m not alone in my difficult night last night. I’m prepping for my first ever cruise and all tangled in anxiety about the details. It seems I can also use “special event insomnia”
I’m doing a 6 hour window and awoke up 3 hours after bedtime. I stayed in bed until my wake up time doing my best to notice and work those tools. Although it was nice not having to get up like I did on CBT-i, It was tough being in bed so long aiming for calm while experiencing what showed up. I wasn’t as relaxed as the first 2 nights, when I had better nights. It’s rather a catch 22. When I have a better previous night I’m better at using the tools during the day and the next night. If I’ve had a poor night it’s harder, more of a intentional push. Steve, maybe you should give your current bed/awake time a few weeks. Then you can decide if you want to change it. I’m repeating the book here. It takes a few weeks for the effects to settle so you can see where you’re at.

[burn]

I am shooting for about 7.5 hours. Today was not good night for me either. Maybe because of good night sleep on previous nights, I was not sleepy enough or maybe something else. Maybe got expectations too high after a good week. Anyway, I am trying to stay positive and using tools. I definitely need to maintain acceptance and keep expectations low.

[Steve]

You.re probably right featherly. I think I will wait another couple of days before I adjust it further.

[Author]

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