[burn]

Since beginning of April. 4.5 months now.

I don’t know if I already have this attitude, but I will try to develop it. And I think Guy Meadows says in the fifth chapter that the key to long term recovery is to accept that bad nights will be happening sometimes, just like with normal sleepers. I think we all need to develop this long term accepting attitude to occasional bad nights.

Perhaps, it may be good for you Deb to allow one poor sleep night to happen to reinforce relaxed attitude? Or does it sound crazy?

[Mac0908]

Good morning everyone. Hope you all had great nights of sleep! I still continue to struggle with my “Special event insomnia” pretty badly. For the last two weeks for example I have had decent and quite a few very good nights except for 2 (when I had plans the next day, of course), one of which being last night. It’s just amazing how the brain works. How on most other nights if I have an early awakening I can drift back off at least into some form of a light sleep, but last night for example the anxiety just overtook me, plain and simple, and I couldn’t fall back.

I tried to relax, I did. I thought about how far I’ve come. But I just kept thinking about how tomorrow isn’t a day off and that work alarm is going off in just a few hours and how my plans at night are going to be ruined if I don’t get back to sleep fast. Honestly, I think I set myself up for failure to start by going to bed rather early. Should have played it a little safer perhaps and went to bed later. I keep thinking I’m past my 11:30p-6am sleep window forever. A window I sometimes revert back to if I want to try and ensure I will more than likely sleep through the night, but when you’ve been on a great roll for a while, you start to move away from it. This is fine of course, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to be fully healed. I am certainly not fully healed as I sit here as a zombie today.

While I know I’m improving overall and more good nights are to come, it’s still horrible knowing I will be shot to hell all day today and through my plans tonight. Deb, you mentioned using ACT to help me with this special event insomnia. Would you mind throwing some bullet points at me? I also plan on going back to my Sasha Stephens book for the first time to re-read the part she mentions about special event insomnia, which as you may know was the last problem she had to tackle. I hope to get there one day, I hope, but geez I feel brutal today.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Mac0908.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Martin Reed.

[Steve]

Have a question for those of you recommending Sasha Stephens book. I see she published two: The Effortless Sleep Method and the Effortless Sleep Companion. Which one are you recommending? And isn’t it just a rehash of SR with some positive thinking thrown in or am I missing something? Thanks.

[burn]

Steve,

I got a feeling that Sasha’ book (effortless sleep) is just a CBTI with a personal touch. She advocates strongly for SC and positive thinking, arguing against SR.

[Deb]

Nik Burn – I’m sorry, but I’m not going to force myself to stay awake for a whole night! The couple nights this week when I had anxiety, I did stay up until about 1:00. When I completely accepted the fearful thought that I could possibly have some sleepless nights, then I was good and slept fine afterwards.

Mac – I don’t know if you’ve been keeping up with the posts on this thread or not. Here’s a recap in case you haven’t. I started doing SR/SC again in late April and did it for a couple months. I got frustrated with it again because I was still having 2 bad nights out of 7 just like the first time I did it back in Jan & Feb. I wanted to deal directly with the anxiety, which I felt was always there underneath the surface and which was keeping me awake those 2 nights. So I started ACT again and this time I worked with Dr. Kat from Dr. Guy’s clinic. When I finally committed myself to it, my insomnia was over in less than two weeks. That was 2 & 1/2 weeks ago.

Since then, some other folks here got interested in using it, especially those who had a hard time with SC or just weren’t completely satisfied with CBT-I. If you look over the last several pages here (maybe even 10) you will see all of our journeys and how we have tried to learn to practice ACT. It’s more “tricky” than CBT-I, which is pretty straightforward. With ACT, you have to learn how to think differently. So people have been putting their questions out here and then others offer feedback on how they practice it and how it’s working for them. You may want to look over these pages.

The most basic idea is learning to “accept” the insomnia, and to stop struggling with it. The other idea is to learn to “tame” the anxious thoughts and feelings through using techniques such as mindfulness and welcoming. The Sleep Book by Dr. Guy explains it the best and very thoroughly. Please read chapters 2 and 3.

I have to tell you honestly, Mac, that part of my motivation in going back to ACT was watching you and Delv continue to struggle even after so earnestly practicing CBT-I for several months. Something was missing. I think for some people it works great and Martin’s success here is a testimony to that. But for some other people, they need something more. Maybe these people are just a little more anxious, which I believe you are. Even in your post here, I can hear your anxiety in the things you say. In that case, it’s better to deal directly with the anxiety like ACT does.

[gsdmom]

Nik – I think you have a realistic approach to healing by thinking that you are in a prolonged recovery state. As Deb has mentioned in the Sleep book there is the client Carlos who doesn’t show improvement in the first two weeks but by 2 months is much better. As with a lot of medical conditions, healing usually takes much longer than expected. I remember with a simple bunion surgery the doctor said I should heal in 3 months, but to actually walk pain-free took 6 months.

I’ve almost finished 3 weeks of ACT, my sleep is still not regular, but at least bedtime is a bit more relaxing and I am usually not dreading the dinner time hour when my mind used to be so tired and it was such an effort to plan and cook a meal. Most days I now I don’t stress about it. In July I averaged 4.1 hours sleep per night, in August 4.3 so far but with less than half the Ambien usage. Slow but measurable progress. Knowing now it takes the amygdala 8 weeks to heal and shrink with mindfulness practice, I think a 2-month healing process is reasonable for me.

[Deb]

Sounds like you’re making good progress, Gdsmom, sleeping a little more, stressing about things less and using the Ambien a whole lot less. That’s great! I was just curious – is there less dread about making dinner because you’re less tired or just less stressed because of an attitude change? I know that Dr. Guy says in the book that when people got better at accepting, and just rest in bed instead of struggling, then they had more energy during the daytime.

[Mac0908]

Thank you for your response Deb. Well said. It IS all about the anxiety for pretty much all of us. A lot of times SRT can only go so far. It’s true I am a bit of an anxious person in general, someone more prone to having this takeover my life like it did for so long before I was able to get it under some form of control.

Ive heard the whole and have tried the whole “accepting” your insomnia stuff a gazillion times over the years. The whole “welcoming the monster that is insomnia”. These things would help me think differently, yes, and would make me no longer afraid of insomnia(beleive me I’ve come a LONG way, deb) but with this special event insomnia, it’s just such another level that I feel it may just take more time. Perhaps some of the things in Guy’s book are more in depth? Would love to hear a few techniques you’ve used.

But just to verify you’re saying that as of a few weeks ago when you began to use ACT again you now consider yourself fully healed of insomnia? Have you ever suffered from special event anxiety insomnia ?

• This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Mac0908.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Martin Reed.

[Steve]

The one thing I am having trouble with is acceptance. I believe that I will get better one of these days and every night when I go to bed I believe I will get a better sleep. But is that acceptance? Am I just replacing true acceptance of my insomnia with wishful thinking? I know I don’t have to be resigned to it, but if I believe I am going to get better, is that negating the acceptance I should feel towards it? I think we should feel positive but does feeling positive mean that we don’t accept our insomnia?

I have been doing ACT now for about two weeks and I keep feeling like I am on the verge of a breakthrough. Last night I got 2 hours of being in and out of sleep and then after going to the bathroom and getting my favorite pillow for my back, I got about 4.5 hours of deep sleep. But I was really tired last night so I don’t know if I got that much sleep because my sleep drive was so high or because of the ACT tools I am using.

Deb – Do you really recommend Sasha Stephens book? Can you give me the complete title of it? Thanks.

gsdmom – I am glad the ACT system is working for you. If nothing else, it’s nice having the stress levels down, isn’t it?

[burn]

Deb,

It’s not what I meant. I meant that perhaps mentally allowing yourself to have one less than ideal night can help to restore more accepting attitude. But you know yourself better of course, so just do what feels right for you.

[Deb]

I know that people have tried ACT on their own and gotten frustrated with it and then given up on it. That’s why my main complaint about ACT was the lack of support available for it. When I first tried ACT on my own in March I couldn’t get an appointment with Dr. Kat until mid April. By then I had already given up and was going back to CBT-I. That’s what’s so great about Martin’s support for CBT-I. He’s available 24 hours, which is what you need when implementing these therapies.

Mac – I say I recovered in 2 weeks, but actually it’s more like a month and a half because it was back in March when I really learned how to practice the techniques. I had sleep onset so I could go for hours never falling asleep initially. But when I first started to get the hang of “acceptance” in March, I was amazed that I was falling asleep so quickly. Also during this time I learned how to practice mindfulness and “create some space” between ME and my negative thoughts, feelings and sensations. Then I learned how to “welcome” them, which would neutralize them. So when I started ACT again in July I just “pushed the acceptance button” as Borgesbi says, and I could get to that state of mind much more easily. I actually didn’t have to do much work at all this second time around because once I accepted whatever happened, I relaxed and fell asleep fairly quickly. I say that I’m fully recovered, but maybe it’s 95% because sometimes there are still some worries of it coming back, which I know is normal. But I’ve been sleeping well every night, for the most part going to bed at 11:00 and waking up around 7:30. I haven’t had special event anxiety, but there probably is someone else here who has.

Anyway I want to encourage you to read the posts here because they will help you learn how to practice. We don’t have a “coach” helping us on a day to day basis like Martin does with his clients, but we coach each other here. I believe this peer-coaching has been very valuable to everyone and has made a huge difference, in comparison to trying to do it all alone like I did before and you and others have.

For a specific example of using techniques to reduce anxiety check out Borgesbi’s post on page 35.

[Deb]

Steve – I read Sasha’s book and I agree with Nik’s assessment of it. It’s CBT without SR.

For myself, acceptance is done on a nightly basis. I accepted that I might not sleep that night. I would go to bed to “rest” with no expectations of sleeping, just accepting whatever happens. I think you’re already doing that Steve, so you’re doing just fine. Try not to overthink.

[Mac0908]

So glad to hear you are doing better deb. My issue isn’t anxiety when falling asleep, it’s when I have the (now more rare) early awakenings. I will be applying some ACT techniques when this happens in the future.

That all being said, going back to late December when I came here, I really am doing much better. Not out of the woods yet at all, but I’m doing much better. I shall be back soon.

[Steve]

Thanks Deb. I do overthink a lot of times. I just have to realize that this may take a couple months since I am an anxious person. It won’t happen overnight. I do wonder what the difference is between Sasha;s two books The Effortless Sleep Method and The Effortless Sleep Companion. The latter is newer and costs a couple more bucks. But if it’s the same as CBT-i without the SR, then that would be old news and a waste of money. Time to practice my ACT tools! Have a good sleep tonight everyone.

[Deb]

Glad you’re doing much better, Mac. Yes, please try the ACT tools. They really do work!

[Author]

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