[Steve]

Karen – I’m very sorry you had to go through all of that. Putting a parent into a home can be quite traumatic. And then to add in the family squabbles obviously makes it more intense. I’m sorry to say that I think there are some situations that can’t be welcomed except with the passage of time. While it is painful now, give it a couple days and it will probably seem much easier to welcome.

[Pam1129]

gsdmom
thanks for responding, I am pretty new into this( just a few weeks,) I will just keep on then! Because I stay away from ‘looking ‘at the time, it feels as tho it’s every 1 1/2-2 hours , it’s pretty much throughout the whole night (which has been my pattern for years)
Steve
I actually do ( most nights) feel more refreshed …. which is quite exciting and ‘new’ for me, that’s why I can stay pretty positive , I can sometimes find myself getting a bit anxious in bed after my 4th wake, but I remind myself , that’s ‘thats Ok , and that the bed feels good and so on… then eventually drift back to sleep !
Thanks to you all

[KarenP]

Question. I have read the book. Should I get the Sleep School app as well?

[Bluesky]

9 months in and still struggling badly.

Last night i literally went to bed at 11.55pm and was shattered I did breathing techniques too and basically was ready to sleep but literally didn’t get to sleep until 4am, I do the processes I’m told to do to break up the anxiety and re focus myself on sleep ie listening to music, reading, putting the TV back on nothing works just wakes me up even more…
I only eventually sleep as I give up and with that my brain sleep.

Seriously am I missing something here? as I’m dead the following day and its effecting my life now.

Anybody got any ideas or suggestions as getting very serious for me now.

Thanks.

[Pam1129]

Bluesky,
First all I’m so sorry about your rough nights , my apologies if you’ve mentioned this already in a previous post …: but have you read ‘The Sleep Book?’ By Guy Meadows

[burn]

After thinking more about my consultation with the sleep doctor, I realize I still often struggle not accept. The key to falling asleep is to have relaxed attitude to being awake, but it is still very difficult at times. I can accept anxiety by feeling what it really is (heart pounding, muscle tension), but just recognizing that I am still awake at night is not comfortable without physical sensations. How to accept it and be comfortable with it? Please advise. Thank you.

[Steve]

Burn – I wish I could help you Burn but I don’t know myself. Last night was a rough one for me. I fell asleep for my usual 3 hours and then woke up. I tried welcoming any unwelcome thoughts but there weren’t too many to welcome. I just felt totally relaxed except for a little anxiety now and then. I could feel the tingling of the anxiety and when I welcomed it, the feeling went away. But I still couldn’t sleep. I lay there and I’m sure I drifted in and out of Phase I sleep for three hours or so. I just don’t know if I am supposed to wake myself up fully and try to welcome any thoughts and urges or lay there like I did and just be restful. I didn’t “try” to go to sleep. I just lay there in a restful and peaceful state without tossing and turning but the result was the same, which was about three hours of drifting in and out of phase I sleep. The result is another day of not too bad fatigue, but the inability to focus my eyes and a general lack of the ability to concentrate. Friday night I had a relatively good sleep but then I usually do because Fridays I am very tired from a full week of work.

[gsdmom]

Steve and burn – I am hoping the both of you will have better sleep nights. Burn, last night I too struggled with accepting. Very little sleep. Thoughts were so invasive and persistent, even though I accepted and welcomed them all, and tried focusing on the breath, and to relax muscles, but they would not pass on. Therefore my plan today is to think of it as a new day, mistakes from yesterday are gone and forgiven. I did some journal writing earlier and will do more later. Steve, you asked before if people still name their thoughts. I try to especially during the day so I can work on them – Disappointment, Lust, specific Anxieties, Sadness, Fatigue, etc. I went for a 30 minute walk earlier, and by the end of the walk, most things that came up last night were gone except for a personal issue that came up after reading a previous post about putting your mother in a nursing home. I did this 5 years ago, and it was very traumatic, dividing the family, and caused financial losses and legal issues. After last night’s thoughts, I realized I never really explored what happened, just put it aside it was so painful. So I will deal with that today and am actually glad to accept it now and let it pass, hopefully for good.

[Deb]

Its not available in the states.

[KarenP]

I got on Iphone App Store and bought Sleep School app. It’s awesome! I’ve read the book several times, but watching it in video form is so helpful. Really fills in a lot of blanks for me. Highly recommend. It’s $6.49 a month. I’m assuming it’s Guy Meadows in the video. He also had Kat in a video too!

[Borgesbi]

Hi all,

Wanted to come here to report that I’m noticing my sleep improving to great extent with ACT although I can’t be sure of how “permanent” this is. I found out that my long-lasting awakenings have been happening only on days that I do strenuous strength training (I read that it has to do with release of high levels of norepinephrine and adrenaline that can last 24-48 hours after a strenuous work out, which probably wouldn’t affect a normal sleeper as much). I still need to see what to do about this since the work outs are in the morning so there’s no much more I can change to not affect my sleep.
Besides days when I do strength training, I have to say sleep almost feels normal again. I hit my head on the pillow and sure enough I fall asleep with no problem, I don’t remember when was the last time I struggled to fall asleep in the beginning of the night. I generally wake up quite early but that’s because I go to bed early, so it doesn’t bother me.

ACT has been working for me in learning to not overthink anything, relax, go with the flow, and just “not mind insomnia” either if I have to be awake for a while at night or deal with some uncomfortable symptoms the next day. I stopped worrying about insomnia in general for the most part, including “activities in bed” and sure enough I’ve slept just fine on days that I hung out in bed watching a show or reading a book. I haven’t really used any of the tools from the book anymore, except for just “noticing” and laughing it off (in a heartwarming manner) when patterns emerge – every now and then I catch myself monitoring my state of consciousness when I’m in bed and it’s so automatic that it was interesting to catch it and kind of laugh at it. I had never caught the moment in which I was monitoring how alert or how sleepy I was and it was so intriguing I told myself in the
moment “yeah, no wonder you’ve been having insomnia – this monitoring thing would make anyone really alert”, it seems to play a huge part in keeping us awake (it’s not anxiety, just a subtle monitoring). Because it’s such an automatic and ingrained pattern, I know it will still come back a few times before it dissolves completely.
So I think for me just being light hearted about the whole thing and letting it be as much as possible has been the key. Hope we all keep getting better and we can remember not to fight it when dealing with setbacks and difficult thoughts/feelings!

[burn]

Borgesbi,

Is it possible to get in contact with you outside of this forum? You have way more experience with mindfulness and I really would like your input. I think I overthink do much and still don’t understand a lot. Ideally I would like to talk over Skype sometime if you don’t mind. Thank you.

[Steve]

Burn/Borgesbi – I think if you contacted Martin he would exchange your e-mail addresses and you can take it from there. But I wouldn’t post any identifying info or your e-mail address directly to the forum.

[Borgesbi]

Hi Burn,

I’m not sure I would be able to help but I’m more than happy to try! Steve is right though – if you want to get in touch with Martin to get my email address we could then coordinate a time to talk? I don’t use Skype, so it would be a regular phone call, if that’s ok!

[burn]

Borgesbi,

You can drop me your contacts to varabajba at Gmail. It is my spare email that I never use. I don’t care if spammers find this email from this forum.

[Author]

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