[Padron1926]

So I was using Guy Meadows online course this weekend (about halfway thru it) and this is what I’ve gotten so far. Practice mindfulness a couple times during the day, I prefer mindfulness meditation noticing the body at first (how relaxed or tense it is and using kindness/openness to further relax the body) then transitioning into noticing the breath and following it (if your mind wanders away from the breath, take notice, and return to the breath). It seems like your supposed to limit this to daytime use and not use it if you wake in the middle of the night but if you do, do it briefly.

The second thing learned is if you wake in the middle of the night, notice the negative thought, welcome it with kindfulness instead of trying to fight/ignore or change the thought and let it pass by and let go. So this is how I’m going about it, I notice the negative thought, I welcome it by thinking something along the lines of “How’s its going thought, nice to see you again” or “Welcome thought, my door is always open to you/thank you for showing up” and letting go of the thought and letting my mind drift.

Seems like simple concepts but is something that you need to keep at and be diligent (maybe not the best word) and its especially difficult while lying in bed facing those negative thoughts head on in the beginning.

So my question, is it really tiring in the beginning stages because I’m facing a constant onslaught of negative thoughts? It’s like my mind is go go go when I wake. At the start, I seem to have, when I wake up in the middle of the night, a flowing stream of negative thoughts, which I have to welcome, follow, let pass, rinse and repeat, constantly. I’m assuming with practice and using the tools that over time the mind and thoughts will eventually slow or dull. Is this correct? Anything I’m missing or doing “wrong” so far?

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Padron1926. Reason: more words

[Deb]

Hi Padron – sounds like you’ve got it. I know that when Borgesbi first started practicing it took her a couple hours the first time to calm the negative thoughts. Then it took a half hour the next time and after that just a few minutes. You may want to look up her post where she describes it. So it does take some time to get the hang of “welcoming” and letting go. Since your mind is go, go, go it sounds like this is exactly what you need to learn to calm yourself down. The goal is to get to the place of quiet acceptance instead of struggling with your thoughts where it will be easier then to fall back asleep.

[gsdmom]

Padron1926 – regarding your last paragraph and the constant negative thoughts – in the beginning, it seemed I had a lot of negative thoughts too, probably because I never took the time to really notice what I was thinking. Once I welcomed and acknowledged them, they did not last long, some came back more frequently than others. I also took the time to pay attention to positive and peaceful thoughts and of course welcomed them too. There may have been a few nights I over thought and didn’t sleep much, but I also did not feel much anxiety either. I find its better for me to work on the thoughts and meditation during the day, at night I only do a few moments just to make sure my muscles are relaxed so I don’t over think at night. Also, over a few weeks, stressful issues – current or from the past came up that were unrelated to sleep. For these, it was helpful to fully explore them in a journal. For a couple of these events, I found once I put them in a journal, they were done, and/or forgiven and I can’t feel a reaction toward them anymore, just neutral. I believe eventually the mindfulness practice will help in several areas of my life, not just sleep.

[gsdmom]

Thanks Deb and Pam for your support. Martin was right, the sleep drive will eventually make you sleep and I probably slept way too long last night, 8.5 hours and of course I feel great today. I found some quotes from the savvy insomniac website that kind of explain insomnia relapsing:

Neural pathways related to new thoughts and behaviors are established as sleep becomes more regular and the bed and the bedroom come to be associated with sleep.
Older pathways active during insomnia do not disappear. Rather, the new pathways—to continue speaking figuratively—are superimposed on the old. With every good night of sleep, neural connections along the new pathways are strengthened.
The older pathways and ways of thinking are still there, though, and due to stress or anything else disruptive to sleep, they may regain some influence. Insomnia returns, and you’re as anxious about it as you ever were. But there’s good news, too: once the newer pathways are established, they’re easier to return to.

The Sleep Book does say your brain remembers insomnia, this helps me see why.

[burn]

My main issues at night now are overthinking and emotional spikes. Last night I went to bed seemingly in good state, ready to relax and just rest with no expectations. Then, I felt good about my state and sleep expectation with excitement came in. I acknowledged them, but it was hard to return that no expectations acceptance state. Need to be prepared for those spikes of sleep expectation. I still apply to much sleep effort without recognizing it.

[Padron1926]

What tools are you all using to accept the negative emotions that occur at night? I’m at that point in the course now and having a hard time with it. The examples they use are creating space in your body for the physical state that you have given your emotion and breathe in, filling the space with air thus lessening the impact of the emotion. I’m not so good with the creating imagery part so I’m struggling conceptualizing this aspect. Any thoughts?

[Featherly]

I’m with you too Gsdmom! It’s part of the process. Consider it another step toward recovery and an opportunity to put those tools to work. Believe in your natural ability to sleep and keep us posted!
I’m have night of that light sleep Deb referred to earlier. It’s good to know from your posts, Deb, that this also is normal and another step toward recovery. We’ll strive to continue to be open to what comes and just let it sit beside us while, focusing on the current moment.

[Deb]

Hi Padron – I used the welcoming tool for negative thoughts, emotions or sensations. For example, when I would get fearful, I would feel my stomach tense up on the left side. I imagined that sensation as a round, red, furry ball of a creature that I named Worry Wart. He was all tensed up and worried all the time. When I created some space between him and myself in this way, then when I looked at him I felt sorry for the poor creature. Soon, he would dissolve and disappear. Others here have done similar things, naming their thoughts, feeling sorry or compassion for them, or feeling a sense of humor towards them instead of taking them so seriously.

Any other examples for Padron from the rest of you?

[Padron1926]

Found this in Dr. Claire Weekes’ “Hope and Help for your Nerves”

“Sufferers of nervous illness sometimes dread the night. They lie in a bed of panic and sweat, with terrifying thoughts racing through their minds.

First, understand that your fears are terrifying only because your body is in a sensitized state, shooting off exaggerated responses, where normally you would feel perhaps no more than a vague disturbance. Your problems are not as terrible as your tired, sensitized body would have you believe. Therefore, try to see your panic for what it is, the exaggerated response of sensitized nerves and and not necessarily an expression of the magnitude of your problems. Make yourself as comfortable in bed as you can, relax to the best of your ability, then examine the feeling of panic and be prepared to let it sweep over you. Relax and go with it. Do not shrink from it or try to control it.

You will find that if you can do this, the waves of panic will settle into being a hot, sore feeling tin the pit of your stomach. You can get so used to this feeling that you can drop off to sleep with it there.
Your own thoughts may bring this panic, or it may sweep over you without apparent cause. If your thoughts are to blame, recognize that they are only thoughts; although, coming as they do so charged with fear, they may appear as monsters. Recognize that they are only thoughts and let them float away. Release them. Let them go. Do not clutch them.

When you decide to face panic and see it through, you feel some relief, and this brings its own relaxation and a certain amount of peace. I say a certain amount, because at first you may not be aware of a great change in the way you feel. Although there is acceptance in your mind, your body may not resound to this for a while. However, it is possible that you may be surprised at the relief you feel. This may be so great that you may find your attention wandering from yourself.

It is easy for me to say relax and accept. I know that it may be very difficult to a tense, panic-stricken person to relax, but it can be done. Remember, the panic is there only because your nerves are sensitized to it. One spasm of fear is making you more fearful of the next, so that each spasm seems more intense than the last. If you relax, analyze the spasms, and resign yourself to having them temporarily, without adding a second fear, you will develop an inner peace that will break the cycle of spasm-panic-spasm.”

[Featherly]

Deb, how long were you experiencing those light sleep nights? Do you still have them?

[Deb]

Padron – that sounds like very good advice.

Pam – The first time I did ACT in March I had them for about a month. The second time I did ACT, over a period of two weeks I had light sleep along with no sleep or little sleep nights. Then I recovered completely.

[Borgesbi]

Hi Padron!

Here’s my experience with it – I used only a simplified version of the techniques mentioned in the book a few times, perhaps 3 or 4 at the most. I imagined my anxiety as a yellow/orange circle of energy, like a chakra really. I would hold it dearly, as if it was a baby that I was holding and taking care of (this would last only a couple seconds since I can’t hold visualizations for longer than that). To me it never felt natural to do the more complex visualizations, I tried and it felt like a lot of work. After making these simple visualizations a few times, I began to only notice the thoughts and feelings and recognizing them for what they were, just the “same old sleep fear” thoughts. Once I was able to recognize them, they would go away very easily, without me necessarily trying to make them go away. Another technique that was helpful to me was to have an attitude of curiosity towards the feelings, thoughts, and sensations. A few times I was intrigued by the intensity of the sensations and would come to a realization : “Wow, yeah, no wonder I haven’t been sleeping, this is such an intense emotional state. I wonder why it got this intense? Or how? But that’s alright, for now I’ll just sit here with it and befriend it no problem”

I’m into week 7 of ACT and although sleep is still a little flawed, I’m thousands of miles away from how bad things were the past few months. One new thing that happened recently that I consider quite the healing: I can go to bed without being sleepy and I’ll fall asleep fast, which has been incredible. I gotta say though, as big a fan of ACT as I am, SR ( a gentle one) was beyond essential to recovery and maintenance of good sleep. I still do gentle SR and believe it’s a pretty fundamental piece of the puzzle! SC on the other hand, not so much (at least for me).
Also, overboard compensatory behaviors were my greatest mistake in perpetuating insomnia and I think now that my brain remembers insomnia I’ll probably be careful to not engage in overboard compensatory behaviors for life.

Hope everyone is doing well and wishing a very restful night for everyone!

[Borgesbi]

*I guess I shouldn’t have put SR as an outside technique from ACT because Guy Meadows does recommend gentle sleep restriction. Big fan of it 🙂

[Featherly]

Thanks Deb for letting me know more about those nights with light sleep. I’ve had them all week. Lots of fleeting thoughts last night of no importance, but with less sleep than usually. Perhaps due to a stressful day with bats on the porch and ants in the house. I feel good today and the tools helped with that. It is very encouraging to know that after this phase that you healed completely. Hoping the same will be true for me.

Borgesbi, I also practice gentle SR. I consistently keep to a bedtime and wake time that stays within a half hour. I don’t clock watch otherwise and so rarely know how much sleep I really get. The light or no sleep occurs toward the second half of the night.
Have a calm night of ease, sleep or not. Stay mindful to catch those thoughts–even if you don’t like it.

[Borgesbi]

Featherly, same here – towards the second half of the night it’s more likely that I either get light sleep or have awakenings, but have consistently been getting at least 4-5 hours of deep uninterrupted sleep, which these days seem to be very restorative and refreshing to my body!

[Author]

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