[Featherly]

My sleep has morphed from the light sleep to just awakenings that are brief. Is that a good thing? It feels better so I think it is. I had my CPAP checked and it was interesting to see a graph of my awakenings. I have several. The good thing is I’m getting some deep sleep, and getting back to sleep after waking, thanks to using the mindfulness.
Borgesbi, I’m curious to hear how and what your sleep does next. It sure helps to get that core 5 hours.

[gsdmom]

My ACT experience update. Started Aug 1st. Weeks 6-7 have been about the same, last night had terrible sleep onset, not falling asleep until 4am, then slept 3.5 hours. Other nights not so bad and I say a typical night I’ll get 3-6 hrs sleep. It seems that I am not progressing, but then I realized that since the beginning of August I have been feeling better during the day because I am conserving more energy at night. So I started to add more activities and challenging events to my daytime routine. So I am having more stress which may be interfering with sleep onset, but at least I feel like I am moving forward with my life a bit more. So hoping my body and brain will adjust to the new stressors soon. Anyway, just wanted to check in and I also get happy reading about everyone else who is experiencing better sleep, no matter how little progress one is making.

[burn]

I was going with ups and downs. I think occasional stretches of good nights were throwing me off at times, because I was starting to think the cure is near and upon next bad night I was starting to overthink what went wrong: whether I was struggling too much and didn’t sleep because of that, whether I applied too much of sleep effort etc. This overthinking was leading to more frustration and worries.
Looks like patience is the key, and I was losing it sometimes. I need to be more patient and just relax more into my insomnia, which may last for a while.

[Borgesbi]

Hi Featherly,

I have been in that same phase as you for a while now! I rarely get light sleep these days, only if a personal issue is bothering me. I still get awakenings in the middle of the night, usually around 3-4 am, but also like you, I tend to go back to sleep fairly quickly. I wake up way too early each day though, it’s rare that I sleep until my alarm goes off . When I was a normal sleeper I’d sleep in until 9 am on weekends and never woke up before my alarm on weekdays. Ahh, how I miss those days but I’m content enough with how things have been 🙂

I had a bump on the road recently: moving into a new place last week threw me off and I had several awakenings each evening for a week. Felt frustrated about it for a few days but finally caught it and slept well last night. I think things will go back to normal soon.

Nik – it takes sooo much patience. The best is to not have the expectation to sleep, but like you, I also have a harder time and forget to implement a no-expectation mindset after having a wave of good nights of sleep. I forget what Dr Guy calls it: sleep sabotage or something like that- I remembered he mentioned that’s expected and it seems to be very common. When we start sleeping well we start to fear experiencing insomnia again (which we know is a big causing factor of itself) and we also forget all the practice and techniques. Super tricky. It’s best to look out for sleep sabotage and know it can come at any time and be prepared to welcome the fear, remember the techniques and mindset!

[Featherly]

Hi Burn, overthinking was something I have to watch or it gets the best of me. I’ll do the welcoming for a minute or two and then go back to mindfulness. It helps keep me from getting stuck in my thoughts.

Borgesbi, my sleep is also impacted by my current concerns, or even if I watch something troubling before bed. I’m trying to notice and welcome the worry and concern. Sometimes it’s hard to let it go or it will cycle round again. Last night was like that. I usually wake at least an hour before my wake up time and just try to drift. I’m giving myself 8 hours in bed. The 3 or 4 awakenings seem fairly consistent. I hope they will fade. But if not, I can live with it.

Nik, I think of insomnia as always being at my side. It will always be there with the potential to rear it’s head. I just need to stay in practice with the tools to manage it. Try not to carry the baggage of a bad night into the next day or let it impact your daily life. G Meadows wants us to be open to experiencing the consequences of insomnia, even if we dislike them.

I feel like I have come a long way in the 6 weeks of ACT, especially in not stressing or letting poor sleep sap my energy anymore then it has to. If I’m feeling exhausted (and several awakenings seem to do that), I’ll take a timed 20 min. nap to enjoy the rest of my day.

Blessings for refreshing rest

[Steve]

Hi everyone. I see you are all checking in so I will do the same. I received my CPAP machine last Tuesday and I do think it has helped me some. But I also seem to have settled in to a rut. I go to bed and fall asleep relatively quickly. Then I wake up after about an hour. I use the bathroom and come back to bed and fall asleep rather quickly again. I then sleep until about 3:30 and from there, I can’t seem to fall back asleep again. Sometimes I do but it’s rare. I use the tools and I do get into a more restful state and I sometimes almost drift off. But my mind brings me back to being wide awake again. So mostly I get about 5 to 6 hours of sleep and maybe 6 to 7 on a really good night but with the good night comes a lot of early awakenings. But it’s never enough and I never feel refreshed in the morning. I do see positive signs however, as I am not getting the headaches the next day that I used to get. And my concentration is better. Dizzyness is still a problem though.

I am having a problem trying to figure something out and maybe one of you can help me. I know we are supposed to stay in a positive move and keep saying positive affirmations to ourselves. And I do feel like my insomnia is going to clear up soon and I look forward to going to bed to see if I will get a better sleep that night. But I also know we are supposed to go to bed accepting whatever happens and not expecting to sleep. So isn’t that a contradiction? How can I go to bed feeling positive and upbeat and knowing my insomnia will end soon but also go to bed not expecting to sleep? It’s hard to reconcile the two emotions. I have just been recognizing and accepting both thoughts and then just lying there and letting what happens happen.

Borgesbi – Boy, do I know what you mean about sleeping in until 9am on the weekends! I sure miss those days. I used to get really disappointed that I slept so late on a weekend and frittered away the Saturday morning when I could have been up and out doing something. I get up early Saturday now but not by choice and it’s hard to do something because I am usually still tired.

[Hopeless]

I have had insomnia before and it has come back with a vengeance cbti has been stressing me out I want to try that at ACT today. I need help with something at night when I can’t sleep I start doing natural pills I start smoking I start taking oil I start drinking my tea I need to stop all of this do you agree this is perpetuating. I just need reassurance

[Steve]

Yes Hopeless, everything you mention is becoming part of a ritual for you that is perpetuating your insomnia. Do you know anything about ACT? I suggest you get The Sleep Book written by Dr. Guy Meadows. It’s a quick read and will explain everything in there that we have been talking about in this thread.

[Featherly]

Hi Hopeless and welcome! I second what Steve said. In fact, he said the same thing to me many weeks ago and it has turned life around for me. This is a great place to be when CBT-i isn’t working for you. I was doing CBT-i for 6 months and giving it all I had. The stress of all the rules and restrictions added to my anxiety. ACT helps you accept and work through all of that so sleep no longer becomes a focus and you can put your energy into living your life. You will learn a lot from the folks here, but do read the book. Look forward to hearing from you again!

Steve, I thought I’d post here about your contradiction question. Here’re my thoughts for whatever they are worth…
Thinking that it’s a contradiction (wanting better sleep verses accepting) could in itself be holding you back. I would suggest forgetting those confirmations that entail expectation. Because when the expectation doesn’t come to pass it can result in frustration, which blocks sleep. Stick with present moment confirmations if you want to use them. ‘I am doing fine with insomnia beside me right now’ or ‘I am feeling grateful to be in my bed’. I don’t use affirmations. I think they take to much effort and make you think about the future instead of right now. You state that you expect your insomnia will clear up. Insomnia will always be a part of your life experience. It may not be rearing it’s head much longer, but the potential is there and always will be. It’s not something that clears up, but more something you learn to live with and accept. You have the tools to accept and move on now. Allow your sleep to be what it is. I would say to stick to the second part of what you wrote. …”go to bed accepting whatever happens and not expecting to sleep.” That jives with the ACT philosophy. It’s the same reason why all those props are not good. They are an expectation to help you sleep. When they don’t work they cause stress. Affirmations about the future do the same thing. But affirmations about the present, ‘I am open to whatever happens’, or ‘I willingly accept the tiredness I feel right now’ can move you in good directions.

[Steve]

Thanks Featherly. I do understand what you are saying and you make some valid points. Just so tired of being tired, you know? But you are correct in that I have to live in the here and now and forget about what might happen in the future. I’m pretty sure Dr. Meadows pointed that out in the book. It does pay to go back and re-read it.

[Deb]

Hi Everybody,

These last few nights have been a little challenging for me. I’ve been having some fear of the insomnia coming back. So I’ve been getting to sleep later than usual and waking up not well rested. Last night I realized that I just need to accept my fear, that it is normal to have this fear. I’ve probably pushed it away so far during my honeymoon period of about 7 weeks. So I figure if I just accept the fear and not give it too much attention, it will go away eventually on its own. This attitude has worked well for me in the past with other issues that I’ve struggled with. For instance, my go to for comfort when I’m anxious has always been food. In the past I used to worry that I was going to become a total blimp when I would eat too much or in unhealthy ways. So then I would force myself to stop. But this only made things worse and I’d binge again. Finally I just accepted that it’s ok to indulge myself when I’m feeling anxious. Then the desire to eat the junk food would always go away eventually on its own. When I stopped worrying, my body seemed to regulate itself and as a result, I’ve never been overweight. So my body took over once my mind got out of the way.

Steve – in Guy’s book on page 124 under “Sleep Fact” he talks about how challenging our thoughts may not be helpful. For instance, trying to be positive when maybe we’re not really sure if we believe it. Anyway, it might be better to just accept whatever happens instead of trying to stay positive, only to be disappointed. The point is to help our mind get out of the way of our body, which will put us to asleep if we only let it. I found that acceptance was the best way to get my mind out of the way.

[Steve]

Thanks Deb. That too makes sense. But I still look forward to going to bed. It’s kind of like my refuge away from the storm. And I can rest in it even if I don’t get to sleep in it.

[Deb]

That’s great that you look forward to bed!

[burn]

I was experimenting last few nights to figure how much sleep effort I apply. I used to think that when my head hits the pillow I let my mind go loose. On last few nights I was neither trying to ‘be willing to be awake’ (as Guy Meadows puts it) nor forcing sleep onto myself consciously. I was just closing my eyes and allowed myself not to do anything or do whatever. I realized that either me or my mind is actually actively trying to sleep, trying to drift off unconsciously. Needless to say last nights were not great. I realized that I need to gently bring my mind back to quiet wakefulness and acceptance away from sleep attempt. It seems that during these months with insomnia, sleep effort became an automatic ingrained behavior, which I need to be working on.

[Deb]

Yes, the mind needs to get completely out of the way. That’s how the body can then take over and put you to asleep. Since I’ve recovered, I’ve become more aware of how automatic this is. I have no idea that I’m falling asleep and then the next thing I know, it’s morning.

[Author]

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