[Steve]

Well I don’t really want to start reporting in every day but since this is the beginning of my journey into ACT, I thought I’d let you know how it went on my 5th night of ACT. I actually had a pretty tiring day since I had to mow the lawn (I’ll finish it tonight) and had to get up on the roof with a friend to repair my TV antenna, along with grocery shopping for the week. So, I went to bed tired. This time though, I followed a lot of Deb’s advice. I just did my mindfulness for about 5 minutes or less and then I just started letting my mind wander. I fell asleep within 15 minutes. Letting my mind wander was different than what I used to do as little as a week ago. I used to do breathing exercises and concentrate on doing that until I drifted off to sleep. Letting my mind wander was what I used to do before I got insomnia. Anyway, letting my mind wander seemed more natural and it probably took me the same amount of time to fall asleep as it did with the breathing exercises. Anyway, I did wake up after 45 minutes but after going to the bathroom, I went right back to sleep for 3 hours. Then I woke up and went to the bathroom again and fell back to sleep for about an hour. I woke up at 3:30, which is an hour and 45 minutes before I had to get up. The one thing I noticed was that there was no stress about doing SC as I knew I was going to stay in bed. I also didn’t have to do any mindfulness or welcoming. All of the thoughts and demons were gone so I just reminded myself as Deb did that I am not going to sleep but just going to rest. I also let my mind drift since I didn’t have to do welcoming or mindfulness. So all of the time I lay there I probably did get some Stage I sleep but how much I don’t know. So all in all, I figure I got probably around 4.75 hours of deeper sleep and some Stage I sleep in that long period before I had to get up.  It seems I am very comfortable in bed. It’s during the day I mostly have to practice mindfulness and welcoming as that is when the bad thoughts, urges and demons come to greet me. I just have to remember that this is not going to go away quickly. It might even take 3 to 4 months but at least I am a lot calmer going to bed now.

[RonA]

Steve.  Congrats.  Sounds like you had a pretty good night and you are in a similar place to where I am too.  I have been averaging 4.5-5 hours for the past week.  I know I would like to sleep more right now but it is probably just not realistic.  It takes time to rebuild your sleep drive after dealing with insomnia for many many months.  Increasing my total average sleep time by 15 minutes per week is my goal, so I hope to average 5.5-6 hours in a month.

It is a slow process!

[RonA]

Steve, one more thought.  The fact you can fall asleep pretty easily at the beginning of the night is a blessing.   I am sure there are many folk here who would consider that alone to be a major success!   I firmly believe you (and I) are having a hard time falling back to sleep at 3-4am because our bodies are now used to having very little sleep.   It will just take time to slowly build back the sleep drive so I expect to have mixed results getting back to sleep for the time being.  I am just grateful to get the consistent 4-5 hours early in the night and have faith that the rest will return over time.

[Steve]

Thanks Ron. Yes, I could definitely use more sleep but hopefully that will come as I get less stress and am more calm. One nice thing about not doing SC is that even while I am lying there, my eyes are closed and so they are resting. With SC, they were open a lot as I tried to read or do other things. In addition, I used them all during the day so that led to a lot of eyestrain. I must be liking my bed more. I can’t wait to go tonight and get back in it. LOL.

Glad to hear you are doing well also.

[Deb]

Steve – Glad that you’re developing a lighter relationship with those negative thoughts, feelings and urges so that you don’t take them so seriously. Also, glad that you’re getting more comfortable in bed. This is what ACT is all about – getting more comfortable, relaxed and peaceful in bed. When in this state then the body takes over and we drop off into sleep. So it sounds like you’re doing well and that you’re falling asleep more easily when you wake up. More and more your brain will relax, realizing that sleeping at night is safe. So then sleep will come more easily and eventually your brain won’t wake you up either because it no longer will have to be on the alert anymore.

Ron –  I don’t think it’s the sleep drive that needs to be built up in the middle of the night when you wake up. It’s learning how to relax. For instance, last night I slept from 11:00 to 7:30 with a bathroom break in between. However, I was lazy when I woke up and dozed off again until 8:15. I had slept 8.5 hours by 7:30, so there was no sleep drive. I was just completely relaxed so I fell back asleep easily.

Nik – have you been reading the Sleep Book? It will give you the techniques that Steve, Gsdman and myself have practiced to settle down our brains. I didn’t “commit to not worry.” I just used to techniques to tame the worries both during the daytime and night. Then they would disappear by themselves.

[burn]

Deb,

Yes, I’ve read the book for sure. Just like you I was very excited first, then got frustrated and now I am trying to understand what did I do wrong. Let’s say my worries about sleep never subsided despite endless ‘welcoming’ and your previous comment tells me that I didn’t truly have acceptance. Thank you for that comment by the way.

Nik.

[RonA]

Deb, I agree being relaxed is a huge factor too.  My only point was that it is unlikely for our bodies to go from  sleeping 3-5 hours for months to 7-8 hours over night just because we are now relaxed.  Our bodies need to get reconditioned to sleeping longer.

 

Glad you slept 8+ hours.   An inspiration for all of us!

[Deb]

On the other hand Ron, you might be surprised. I was stunned how quickly I recovered once I put everything together. I figured it would probably take a couple months. But instead I went from no sleep nights, 1-3 hours of sleep nights and light sleep nights to sleeping 8 hours a night in less than 2 weeks! It feels like a miracle!

[RonA]

Deb, sounds like a miracle…congrats!!!!!

[burn]

Dr. Meadows does suggest to use mild sleep restriction to speed up the results. It is fantastic that Deb was able to recover even without it.

Perhaps I need to stick with ACT + SR. Just like during previous run on ACT without SR, I spent last night in a seemingly relaxed state but was only able to get light sleep closer to morning. I realize that I was not able to relax completely, but it was the close the best conscious relaxation I could get that night. And I felt that if I had a bit more of sleep pressure I would fall asleep earlier. Hopefully, current state of relaxation with SR to get more confidence in sleep and hence better relaxation eventually.

[Deb]

Thanks, Ron.

Nik – Just curious, is your insomnia sleep onset or do you wake up too early? Mine was sleep onset, so at its worst I would go hours without sleeping.

[burn]

The same, sleep onset. It is another reason why your story caught my attention. I usually have no problems falling back to sleep at night, because at that point I have no anxiety and fully relaxed. Just can’t yet achieve the same state in the beginning of the night. So I understand that full relaxation is the key, but it is not coming easily.

I was trying to use ACT  but was frustrated by the nights when I was seamingly well relaxed but not sleeping or sleeping only very lightly. I am really happy for your improvement and hope to be in the same position some time soon. It is so tempting to just jump into pure ACT without restrictions, because I want to just sleep normally again with my wife and kid. But last night have shown that I may need some extra sleep drive to stabilize first.

 

[Deb]

Thanks, Nik. When I first started ACT back in March I had mostly nights of light sleep. At the time I had no one to ask why this was happening or if it was normal. I couldn’t get an appointment with the sleep doctor until mid April. I got frustrated like you and thought it wasn’t working. I worried about it a lot, thinking that I was training my brain to have light sleep all night (those of us with insomnia can find just about anything concerning our sleep to worry about!) Anyway, because I was frustrated and worrying, I think this fed anxiety to my brain and so I continued to have light sleep.

When I started again in early June my pattern was this: the first night I would be awake all night and then the next night maybe just 1-3 hours in the early hours of the morning, or light sleep all night. Then I’d give up the next night after being awake most of the night and take a pill. Then I would start all over again. I did this several times. The longest I stuck to it was 4 days and that was twice.

Finally this last time, I made the commitment to stick with it at least 2 weeks with no pills and then make a decision to or not to continue based on whether I was getting any better. After the 8th night I had the strong sense that I was on my way to recovery. My sleep was getting deeper and I felt like it was becoming natural to fall asleep again, like I had “remembered” how to fall asleep.

So with this method it takes perseverance to get through those zero sleep/little sleep/light sleep nights. Over time the sleep will begin to deepen by itself and get better.

 

[burn]

Thank you for sharing Deb.

[gsdmom]

Deb – thanks for sharing your experiences with ACT, especially your starts and failures. I’m into this 5 nights now and having the same what seems like disappointing results like you. I will continue to persevere and accept this process and be patient because afterall the book is a 5 week course. It just helps to know what I am experiencing is probably very common. On a good note, being able to stay in bed just resting does give me a bit more energy during the daytime hours.

[Author]

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