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Hey Deb , I answered your questions… and it’s awaiting moderation …? so we will see☺️
Well it looks like I’m going to have to try something Deb, bc it seems like I’m stuck in a pretty strong cycle that I’m not able to breakthrough with regards to work nights. Even after those two beautiful nights, last night, went in bed around 10:30, was out around 11-11:15, and you guessed it, early awakening. Around 5am. Sat in a daze for the next hour until my alarm went off. Just amazing to me how the previous two nights I can go 7.5 and 8 with seemingly no problem, yet that underlying 6am anxiety is so strong that I can barely manage 6 hours of sleep here last night. Not a zombie, but very tired today. This isn’t saying I haven’t had plenty of good sleep on work nights, but they just seem to be all over the place. I appreciate your input, and I think sooner than later I’m going to give the whole 9:30 bedtime a try. But again, the problem with that is, while you think it will be somewhat of the “equivalent” of getting to sleep until 7, doesn’t change the fact that I probably won’t fall asleep until the same time anyway (around 11, maybe a TAD earlier)
Let’s hope your body gets used to the earlier bedtime just like shift workers have to adjust to a change in bedtime. People do it all the time. I would start on a night when you’re really tired so that you more likely to fall asleep earlier.
Hey Deb!
Before SRT my normal was;
bed @ 11:00
Wake by 11:45-12
??many nights I stayed awake till 2,
some light sleep off and on till 4 …then I’d finally just get up because at least the gym
Opened at 5 and before all this started that’s what I did!
2-4 hours was my normSome nights was also sleep onset where sleep just didn’t come..
oh how I despised bed time
( which I now know was part of my demise for sure) and when I ever got 5 hours ALL in one night it was such a blessing!!!! And my whole family celebrated with me!!!
There was. Always a rule, if mom was sleeping at anytime of day
Or night or anywhere we were NOT to wake her…. unless the house was on fire!!
My family was And still are my greatest support team!!!My only saving grace was that about every 3 months or so I would get this 2 week reprieve , where I felt like a normal sleeper, and whenever this happened I thought FINALLY I’m healed!!!
I would go to bed , fall asleep, still woke many times
But would always fall back to sleep rather quickly, those were 5-7 hours and an occasional 8!!!!!
Then lo and behold it would end ….. and the sleepless nights would return …I just wanted to CRY!!!!Now I go to bed usually @ 10 (sometimes 9:00-9:30) fall asleep within 20-30 min
I still seem to like the midnight wake up call BUT I am going back to sleep pretty quickly until 2:30 and again until 4-4:30 up at 5!!It’s been since November 13th!!! This is the longest run I’ve had in my 19 years
(It’s not every night, in fact I wanted to hit someone’ last night lol )
BUT…… I am much better at accepting whatever comes, especially now that I’ve experienced some great nights!
Sorry this was again a bit long….
Wow Pam! You’re doing so much better! Are you averaging more like 5-7 total hours now? I can’t imagine sleeping 2-4 hours for so many years. That’s great that you have such a wonderful and supportive family. Maybe that’s how you survived!
Yes Deb ,
I truly believe that My faith, family and knowing I didn’t ‘have’ to get up ( I only ‘had’ to set my alarm for 5 one day a week for work) was truly my saving grace for sure!(However … Last night was another tough one??)
It certainly wasn’t always easy to ‘put on a happy face’ but my love for people, my supportive family and the fact that I was. Able to function pretty well, would keep my whining at bay… there are so many people that face a lot worse circumstances than I , and for me , it kept it all in perspective …. I was grateful that , this was ‘all ‘ I was having to endure…
Please hear my heart … this is not to minimize what all of you on here are dealing with .. because ‘it is miserable, and I humbly feel for ALL of you!!!!Believe me , there were times I would just ‘crash hard’ and allow myself to throw a huge ‘pity party for pam’ and then start a new the next day!
This forum has been such a blessing,
Deb, Mac, Steve, gsdsmom and others ,
to have all of you that TRULY understand what it’s like..to struggle with insomnia…. to have the support and encouragement from you … to hang in there.. the tools you all share … it’s been incredible!!! Thank you again and again for being open and vulnerable !!!! I appreciate you all so much!!!
I had a difficult night last night too, Pam. It seems to be taking a lot longer this time to recover. But I started to do a sleep diary again and also looked over my posts since the relapse to see if there were any patterns. I think there are. When I relapse, I seem to fall into my default mode of avoidance & wanting to run away from the problem, confusion, along with compensating behaviors. All together I would label this “struggling” with my insomnia again.
In a way I feel like I have to start all over again and learn how to deal with the fears and anxieties that have been showing up at night, “getting to know them.” Maybe it was almost too easy the first time I recovered and I didn’t really learn how to deal with them all. I just don’t know.
Anyway, hoping for a better new year for all of you as well as for myself. I too have appreciated the support from all of you as well as from Martin, for having this forum and a place to share our struggles as well as our successes.
Happy New Year to All!
Same to you Deb. I agree these forums have been a blessing, because in my case at least, I know I absolutely wouldn’t be where I am in my recovery today, or at least not this far along in it with this much knowledge. I’ve come a very long way from years ago freaking out at the sleep Doctor’s office being told a bunch of rubbish. A very long way. Through Martin, Sasha Stephens, Guy Meadows, some SRT, ACT, and a few other things, I’m doing pretty good now.
I’ve been on these forums for exactly one year, and it’s been a pleasure talking to everyone especially those who were with me from close to the beginning such as Deb, Steve, Daf, Borg. Borg was nice enough to email me some of her strategies a few weeks ago which was comforting. I still struggle as you all know, sometimes rather badly, but, compared to where I was one year ago, finally entering my serious recovery journey, I’m in a very different place. It’s been hell on Earth at times, no doubt about it, but I’ve had this platform to come to for support a lot and it’s been a tremendous help and weight off my shoulders. I’m extremely optimistic that 2020 will eventually mark the end of at least the bad period of my Insomnia story, where I’ll hopefully transition into someone who’s in “remission”.
Happy New Year everyone.
Happy New Year everyone! Yes, this forum has been a big help to me as well. I am still having my difficulties but I still think I’m on the right track. Mostly, I can get from 5.5 to 6.5 hours of sleep and on really good nights, over 7 hours. I still don’t feel refreshed though and lately, I have had trouble trying to get to sleep. Before, I never really had a problem with that, just the wake-ups. Lately, I have been feeling so frustrated when I wake up. I am trying to accept and welcome that thought but it’s difficult. Featherly reminded me that before I go to sleep, to just accept the fact that I will wake up at that time instead of expecting to sleep and that reminder has helped. I guess my biggest problem though is I will have 3 or 4 decent nights in a row and then get a killer almost nil sleep night which sets me way back as the next day I am a zombie. I remember that I do make it through the day but hate going through that. I guess I have to work on acceptance more.
Deb – Sorry you are going through a hard time again. Just concentrate on doing what you did the first time and you should start getting better.
Mac – Glad things are going better for you.
gdsmom and Pam – You are on the right track and your comments help me immensely.
Has anyone heard from Burn? I haven’t seen a comment from him in a long time. He was the other member here who talked to Dr. Kat besides Deb, wasn’t he?
Happy New Year Everyone!
It’s so nice to read your updates.Pam- OMG, you have been through so much! You mentioned acupuncture, how long did you try it for and how many times a week? During my worst times of insomnia, last spring, acupuncture did help a little, mostly by reducing anxiety and there were a few nights where I actually slept for 7 hours after a session. I’m in my late 50’s, and I know starting in my 40’s my hormones did affect my sleep. I’m on HRT now and recently requested a slightly higher dose, my doctor objected, but I insisted because I was having so many night sweats and getting so hot. They have decreased with the new dosage. I know how you feel with the dark circles and bags under your eyes. I’ve always looked young for my age, last year a man in my neighborhood who is 9 years younger than myself wanted to date me. He had no idea of my age or that I was married. This year after insomnia, I feel I look my age, and aged if you know what I mean. I am seriously thinking of getting a liquid facelift, some injections to put volume in my cheeks.
Steve – my sleeping time pattern is similar to yours. I believe last week when I averaged my hours of sleep over 7 nights it was about 6 hours – that of course includes one night of 3 hours and another of almost 9 hours. Compared to 6 months ago I was averaging 2-3 hours of sleep per night, so hopefully, over the next six months I will be close to a normal sleeper. Also, I still am in the light sleep stage for longer than normal, especially at the beginning of the night. I also seem to have trouble transitioning from REM (dream sleep) back into stage 1 of light sleep, often waking after dreams.
Deb – thanks so much for all your insights and sharing and being open with your life and your journey for recovery. Honestly, I don’t think I’d be sleeping better without you.
For anyone new to this forum, for reference, I started ACT on 8/1/19, 5 months ago. It’s a slow, but steady process, especially for me since I’ve had a lot of personal stressors with jobs and marital, and family health issues. Stress definitely affects my sleep more so than pre-insomnia days.
Hello everyone,
I’ve been reading through your posts now for a long time and finding a lot of tips and encouragement. I’ve had insomnia for over 30 years! It started in late 20’s and I’m now 51. Mine is severe. I know everyone feels that way, but I struggle very badly with sleep onset and go many, many, many nights without deep sleep. I’m still battling, but I must admit, I have never been very good at sticking or trying anything for very long. So, right now, I’m trying CBT-I again and incorporating ACT principles too. I don’t have any problem thinking “right” about my ability to sleep, and I have mastered all the positive self talk. I’m still working on mindfulness as my mind is super busy 24×7 and it is extremely difficult to quiet. I’m sadly so used to living with insomnia and have accepted it, but I would really like to still get some quality sleep each night. It is amazing that everyone in my family and around me just sleep so effortlessly! I do get upset about that sometimes. I have all the books and know about everything to do as 30+ years living with this, I’ve seen it all. I do find all of your conversations so helpful, and though I do not wish this on anyone, it is comforting to know I’m not alone. Thanks to all who post. I just wanted to say hello and Happy New Year!
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