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The stupid thing I did to trigger the insomnia, Mac, well actually two things, was this. Friday night we went out for dinner. I usually have only one drink but I had two. First mistake. It really conked me out. When I got home I laid down and fell asleep. When I woke up I realized that I had slept really deep. When I went to bed then I couldn’t fall asleep. So that was the trigger. I felt pretty laid back the next day, thinking that I could get right back on track, but it hasn’t worked out that way. It seems like I have to go through the whole course of one of two weeks of ACT again to get back to normal. And if I’m not on my way to recovery before this weekend, I’ll resort to sleeping pills again for a few days so that I can enjoy my visit with family. That will set me back even further. Oh well.
Last night was another long night. Was able to stay calm all night but didn’t sleep again until the morning for 1 or 2 hours. I’m almost a zombie today, dragging myself around. I’ll take a nap in the early afternoon to help me get through the rest of the day. This seems to work well for me.
So just to verify, you believe the drinks were the issue here in triggering this first bad night of sleep? I really hope you can get back on track quickly.
The trigger for me is not being able to fall asleep one night. The two stupid things just led to that – first the extra drink and then taking a nap. With my last relapse I just got too hot one night and couldn’t fall asleep. Then the insomnia started.
Just one bad night seems to make me lose confidence in my ability to sleep, even if I’m not aware of it on a conscious level and think I’m ok and will get right back to sleeping normally again. Hopefully after I have more recovery time under my belt, I won’t relapse so easily or as badly. This recent relapse happened when my recovery was still fragile so it wasn’t a good idea for me to take a nap in the evening.
Thanks Mac for the video. I do know the hyperarousal feeling of either not being able to sleep, waking up an hour or two later or having night of light sleep and feeling unrefreshed. It is about quality vs quantity or at least a good balance between them.
Deb, sorry to hear you were derailed. An evening nap especially if it’s longer than 20 minutes or so will affect your ability to fall back asleep but it shouldn’t have affected your sleep confidence. Sleep confidence deteriorates as the hours awake pile up but the sooner you give up, stop caring or worrying about it, the faster you get on track, or, your body will just reach a point and sleep.
I mean it really is just fascinating, to me at least, how someone like Deb, newly recovered or not, can have this instant relapse of multiple nights if not longer, after sleeping perfectly fine for well over a month. Makes me realize I guess, just how fragile we are, and for so long, too.
Delv – I’ve napped before at night (usually after a strong dinner drink) and had no problems in the past. I would just get up, brush my teeth, go back to bed and fall asleep. Even during my two month recovery I napped once at night and there was no problem. But this time I couldn’t fall asleep and finally I got up at 3:00 and took a pill. I thought I would sleep fine the next night, but I ended up awake most of the night. Like Mac said, we are fragile without realizing it. Consciously I thought I was good but unconsciously I wasn’t, and this kept me awake the second night even though I was relaxed all night.
I guess its not too wild of a thought really, having just one bad night make you lose your sleep confidence. We’re talking about chronic insomnia here after all. You don’t just recover from that over the course of a couple of weeks and never have to worry about it again. There will be relapses. It’s not even a question. They may only be a couple of nights in a row, or they may be longer. But they will come as me and you Deb know all too well. Unfortunately I think it may take quite some time and as you alluded to a LOT more recovery time to be considered truly out of the woods.
I am in the same camp. After two months of very good sleep, I thought I was recovered. But then on Sunday night, I had some trouble falling asleep and woke up early – then my sleep anxiety was back. My trigger was the fact I didn’t wind down correctly, my brain was too “excited”. The next night (Monday to Tuesday) was better, but last night my anxiety struck again and I had a rough night. Now I have intensive sleep anxiety again (also during the day – btw, I am from Europe).
It shocks me how fragile I am after two months a very good sleep. How is it possible things can derail so quickly? I feel depressed with lots of fear.
I think the bottom line is you shouldn’t just have to accept the fact that (once you’re starting to recover) you’ll have a bad night every once in a while, but you should also have to accept the fact that you’ll even go through a bad PHASE for a while. By phase I mean several nights, maybe even a week, until your nervous system calms down again. ACT is about accepting after all, no matter what. As long as we can learn a little bit from each relapse and not freak out I think they would become less and less frequent as time goes on.
Mac
But how do you stopp “freaking out”? That is exactly my problem, and leads to fear of the fear.
Honestly, in my experience and from what I truly feel, it just takes time. It takes knowledge and understanding. It takes discipline. It really is impossible to get into that whole “let go” mindset in a matter of a few days or even a few weeks. You have to be put through the ringer a bit IMO. Just my two cents. In the meantime, it doesn’t hurt to try your very best with the tools we already know
I agree, Mac, that it should get better over time and that we’ll learn things during the rough times to help us in the future.
Yesterday was rough because I was so tired. Worst of all was my mood which was depressed. Amazing how you can go from so hopeful to starting to doubt everything. Anyway, tried to let it all go. Went to bed and fell asleep right away. Yay! I feel fine today. Hope this keeps up…….but if it doesn’t, keep accepting……
Manfred, did you do CBT-I or ACT to recover? Whatever it was, it worked for you, so don’t be discouraged. Just get back on the program and you’ll get better again. I know that first relapse is a real heartbreaker though. You think you’re finally over with this for good, and then it’s right back.
Dab: I mostly used CBT-I. But trying also to “accept” it, but that is the hard part. I know the theory very well but struggle a lot with the practice. Tried mindfulness, medidation aso., but still can”t figure out how to accept “not sleeping” when all you wish is … to sleep.
Manfred – on a night by night basis, you just tell yourself that you’re “resting” and that you may or may not sleep. Then relax as much as possible. Chances are you’ll get at least some sleep if you don’t “try to sleep” or worry about it. If you keep this up it will get better over time. But since CBT-I worked well for you before, I would go back to that.
I’m back to sleeping pills at least through the weekend. I hate to do this and I also hate postponing the therapy. But the other option is to spend the weekend exhausted while I’m visiting with family. I’ll take the pills.
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