[Steve]

Hi gsdmom. Yes, I am optimistic this morning. I have had good sleeps before with CBT-i but this feels different. Maybe because I am doing more mindfulness. And I am looking forward to tonight even if I regress and don’t get much sleep. The first 6 or 7 nights using ACT I only got about 3 hours sleep. Last night though was the first real time I let go and let my mind wander. Sorry you had a poor night last night. Just keep doing what you’ve learned so far and things will get better. I don’t want to get too excited over my sleep as I know I can have bad nights again but I really feel with the mindfulness and all things will get better.

[Steve]

Hi Deb – Yes, I know it’s only been one night but even the light sleep is welcome. I am learning, slowly but surely, that I can sleep and I am not “broken”. I have the same fears as you that any gains I will make will be short lived but that is one of the unwelcome thoughts that I welcome. I think the thing that turned me around last night was you telling me how you let your mind just wander. My mind started wandering and I started dreaming about that old TV show CHiPS that I watch now in reruns. And as I came in and out of sleep, I knew I was doing it but I just let it happen. I am really hoping this leads to my brain knowing that it can relax and that I can start going into deeper sleep. I also am not worrying about those awakenings I have soon after I initially go to sleep as Martin keeps telling me that awakenings are normal, so I know that by now. So, no matter what happens tonight, I am accepting the fact that I may get poor sleep but it will get better. I just have to keep using the tools I learned so far.

[Deb]

You’re doing well Steve. You’re learning to relax more and more, which is what it’s all about. You’re learning to do “nothing” instead of trying to “do something” to fall asleep. As our mind gets out of the way, then our body takes over.

[Deb]

Nik – just a thought about your appointment with Dr. Kat. Make sure you read the Cancellation Policy thoroughly. It’s very strict and you don’t want to lose your money if you need to change your appointment for some reason. Also, get Dr. Kat’s email address from her as soon as possible. It’s difficult to communicate with the office in case you have any questions about your appointment. I had to cancel once. There was no notification that the cancellation went through. I had to keep bugging the office until they finally gave me the refund a couple weeks later. It was very annoying.

By the way, in case you’re wondering why there weren’t any appointments sooner than what you got, Dr. Kat told me that they take a “holiday” every year during the middle weeks of August. Oh, speaking of bugging the office, I also had to bug the office and then finally Dr. Kat to get her appointment schedule updated on the website. For instance, you may try to set up another appointment in Sept, but find that nothing is listed on the calendar.

[burn]

I allow some flexibility with sleep window. Sometimes I wait till around midnight (aiming for sleep window of around 6 hours). Yesterday I felt tired and sleepy enough around 11, so I went to bed, aiming to just be there and relax and I fell asleep quite easily.

[burn]

Thanks Deb. I definitely need to contact them to get Dr Kat’s Skype name. It should have been in the confirmation email, as website said, but it wasn’t there. And they instruct to add Dr Kat to your Skype list in advance of appointment.

[Deb]

Yeah, I would get on that right away, since they take time to get things done.

[Deb]

If you’re getting nowhere with the office, you can email Dr. Guy directly. It’s the same ending as the office email except with “guy” in front instead of “info.” When I got completely frustrated about something I emailed him directly and finally I got response from him.

[Deb]

How’s everyone doing? I’m celebrating just under two weeks of great sleep! I stopped doing the sleep diary last week because my sleep looks all the same – good every night.

How are some of you we haven’t heard from in awhile – Mac, Delv, Daf?

Daf – you are the one who first introduced me to ACT, so I am very grateful to you for that!

[Steve]

Hey Deb. I am doing okay, I guess. I still got to sleep relatively fast but woke up about 15 to 30 minutes later. Then I go into a deep sleep for a couple hours after which I wake up and usually go to the bathroom. Then for the rest of the night, I go into a light sleep where I drift in and out of sleep. Although last night, I don’t remember waking up as much. However, when I did wake up for the second to last time, I was stressing a bit. But I anchored myself in the moment and settled down and fell back to sleep for awhile. I am functional today but still tired along with some other insomnia induced symptoms. Last night was my fourth night using ACT and I extended my SW to 7 hours starting 2 nights ago. Just taking it one night at a time and learning to accept what comes. I really don’t toss and turn anymore except for that one time last night which I stopped after I anchored myself. I know this is going to take some time.

Really glad you are doing so well. It gives me hope.

[Deb]

Sounds like you’re making good progress, Steve. You’re spending most of the night in sleep, even if broken up. And you’re falling asleep quicker after you wake up. Also, it sounds like your light sleep is starting to improve since you say you didn’t remember waking up as much. That’s how it was for me. On my 8th day I started to notice that I wasn’t waking up as much. I’d wake up in the morning and not remember much of anything from the night, unlike when I was in and out of sleep all night, I always remembered it. Also, since you’re increasing your sleep window, that will give you more sleep too. Hopefully with this and more consolidated sleep instead of the light sleep, you’ll start feeling better during the day. All of this will feed messages to your brain that you can relax more and more about sleep. And who knows, you might recover faster than you think! I was shocked by how quickly I recovered. I was expecting it would take a couple months, but it took less than two weeks!

Today on the way to church I told my husband that it was amazing to feel completely AWAKE instead of always tired like I have been for the last 9 months. At church a couple people even commented on how bright my face looked and how much more energetic I was. What a change!

[Steve]

I just want to lose the headache/lightheartedness/dizziness. I just hope I DonDon’t start getting g fragmented sleep! Thanks for your support Deb!

[Steve]

That should be lightheadedness

[Steve]

Well Deb, I have to tell you that last night was a very bad night for me. It was filled with fragmented sleep and very bad dreams and I had no deep sleep at all. The fragmented sleep could have been due to the bad dreams though. I was able to get the tossing and turning under control but it was the first night in a long time that I looked at the clock several times. I finally was able to lay there and let my mind wander and accept whatever comes. I am still committed to ACT for another couple of weeks to try and see some improvement but if I still don’t get deep sleep, even for a couple hours, I may have to cut back on the SW. I would still stay in bed and not do SC as long as I wasn’t tossing and turning but I would need to shorten my SW. Did you have any bad nights after you had some good nights or was it a slow but steady progression forward for you?

gsdmom – How are you doing?

[gsdmom]

Deb – After so many months you must be so relieved to feel and look refreshed! I hope your brain continues to stay relaxed and that you become a “normal”.

Steve – Today is my 5 month anniversary of insomnia and still not doing as well as hoped for at this point. But reading through Deb’s posts is seems she had insomnia 9 months, and Max wrote about his insomnia which seemed to last 7-8 months. I know this will not change overnight. Last night like you, was a bad night for me. No sleep. The thing is I did not feel much anxiety at all, only a couple times. Mostly just resting and letting my mind drift for a few seconds to something neutral. I did get up twice just to sit in the dark for a few moments and when I did, yawned a lot. I started trying to implement ACT 8/1 and so far had 3 nights sleeping six hours, 2 nights no sleep, 2 nights using Ambien, and the other nights slept for 2-5 hours. Nothing really consistent so far. I might try shortening my sleep window a bit, we’ll see.

[Author]

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