[taylor45]

Mac- not sure if this will be any comfort but im also having a rough time thats definitely been exacerbated by the current condition of the world. Usually I have sleep onset issues, but last 3 nights have fallen asleep quickly around 10 and woken up at 1 and not been able to go back to sleep. not fun.
I live in San Francisco and we are on a shelter in place order. Since i’m just a student, this means my classes have either been canceled lately or been online, so i’m not sure why my sleep has been so bad. Im not one to be able to nap during the day as when I have bad nights, the cortisol rushes through my body all day the next day and doesn’t allow me to make up for lost sleep.

I hope we both see improvement soon.

[Deb]

That’s too bad, Mac, that you can’t stay at home. I was really hoping you could do that and get more sleep. Sorry also that this is upping your anxiety. Here in Alabama we’re behind most of the country in terms of new cases, but maybe that’s because we’re probably also behind in getting testing kits.

My sleep is “ok” these days. It seems that just when I say something with total confidence, I am proven wrong. My healing has not been a straight line this time as it was before and I’m still not back to normal. I don’t know what’s different this time, but it seems to be taking longer to recover. I’ve had a lot of light sleep, waking up not completely refreshed. But at least I can sleep as long as I need, so I’m always fine the next day.

Take care everybody and stay safe.

[gsdmom]

Mac and Taylor – my sleep also seems to be impacted by the effects of coronavirus. Taylor I also live in the Bay area in a county with the Stay in Place order. My job is considered essenstial so I am still working and that’s where the stressors coming from. Our staff has dwindled so the job demands are higher and my hours keep changing and working more into the night, not really late but 9-9:30pm. The pressure to be a team player and keep things going is just enough to upset my fragile nervous system. Four nights in a row now taking Ambien so I can sleep about 6 hours. Just prior to this I thought I might be on the edge of recovery having a month of many nights falling asleep quickly and averaging 6-7 hours sleep per night with minimal Ambien. The last couple nights I’ve listened to some guided meditations, they relax me and slow me down somewhat, but sleep is no where to be found. I’ll make myself slow down today and practice mindfulness and tonight if I can’t sleep, I’ll just accept it and not sleep as I have a day off tomorrow and if I end up being a zombie I can just stay home. I don’t want to take Ambien for 5 nights in a row.

And Deb like you, even when I thought I might be recovering, I still had many nights of light sleep. I’d go to bed about 10:30-11pm, then suddenly notice the clock at 1am, thinking I had been awake that whole time. Some nights not being able to fall back to sleep until 2am.

[Steve]

Hi Mac – What do you do that your job is considered essential? I work for SUNY and although affiliated with a hospital, I work in the University section. I was sent to work from home and I am doing the best I can but I can’t get my home computer to connect with my work computer so I can’t do nearly the work I should be doing. I was told to stay home until at least March 31, maybe longer. I am going to be so far behind when I do go back. I am trying not to let that stress me out.

gsdmom – What do you do that your work is considered essential? I know you have your shelter in place mandate and while we here in New York don’t have that yet, it’s almost like having it since nothing is open.

I know these are stressful times for everyone but surprisingly my sleep has gotten somewhat better. I think because I focus more on what’s going on in the world which stops me from thinking about my insomnia. I also went over new ways of doing things with my counselor and over the last three nights, I have gotten over 6 hours of sleep each night, with one night being about 7 so I feel pretty good, although it sure helps that I don’t have to get up to an alarm clock every morning. Hang in there everyone.

[Mac0908]

Hi Steve- Glad you’re doing ok right now. Though I’m sure not having an alarm is a huge part of that. But still, if you can put together weeks of good sleeping now, it can absolutely carry over and help your recovery long term. This is what I wish I had. I handle payroll for the MTA (transportation here in the NYC area). So basically, until the trains shut down which probably won’t happen unless there’s a complete lockdown scenario (which is unlikely imo), I have to go in to make sure people still get their paychecks. Unfortunately the job just isn’t set up where you can work from home. If things got really drastic it’s possible to do so, but it wouldn’t be at all easy.

Today was just a VERY bad day. Aside from having to wake up as usual the additional stress of going into work when seemingly *everyone* else is working from home right now is bothering me, not to mention the state of the country in general. Thoughts of a recession when all this is set and done and my home value dropping. Possible realities I never thought we’d see again after 07/08, but here they are now in my life as a home owner. On top of all that it’s just crushing to see all these business in my neighborhood closed, some likely to never reopen. Can’t go to the gym which is a psychological boost for me, always. Very stressful times for me right now. I’m trying to find a way into a peaceful mindset, but in my entire life I’ve never seen anything even close to this.

[Steve]

Hi Mac. I’m 61 and have NEVER seen anything like this in my lifetime. The Governor has set new closings for the end of today so it is really almost like the shelter in place laws that are in effect in California. I know it’s a very stressful situation but at least we still have our jobs. I do feel very sorry for the people who are losing theirs. Just take a deep breath and remember that this will not go on forever. I miss the gym too as well as going out to eat. Remember though that ACT tells us we shouldn’t avoid any of those thoughts. Just acknowledge them and move on. I am just using all of these events to get my mind off of my insomnia. Hope you slept better last night. That goes for everyone here. Are you doing any better Deb?

[gsdmom]

Hi Steve – I am doing seasonal work as a tax preparer. Last night our schedules were being changed to close earlier at night, and now that all of CA has the stay in place order, our offices are closed for today. I spent much of yesterday reviewing the procedures for preparing tax returns online, although I’d still have to go to work to access the computer to do so. The govt still can’t decide if they are extending the tax filing deadline, there is a tax payment deadline.

Glad you were able to get a few solid nights of sleep in a row. Last night I skipped the Ambien and finally got about 3.5 hrs of sleep. Might of got some more sleep, but my spouse made some really stinky food about 1am and I had to get up and open the windows and couldn’t deep sleep until about 4am. I listened to some soothing guided mindfulness meditations so I stayed calm, then had some fascinating dreams. But after nights like last night, my sleep drive is usually great enough where I can fall asleep quickly tonight.

Sorry you and Mac are missing the gym. I do my exercise outdoors due to our milder climate. With the Stay in Place orders, you are allowed to go outside for exercise, so yesterday I took my dog for a hike on our usual trails where I seldom encounter anyone, However yesterday with many people not working I had to make room for 10 mountain bikers on the trails. I know, its not the worst complaint at the moment. Hope everyone here stays safe and healthy!

[Deb]

Good to hear from you Steve, and glad that you are sleeping better. Mac, sorry you’re having such a hard time. Gdsmom – sorry you have such an inconsiderate husband! He knows you have a sleep problem and yet he forces you to have to get up and open the windows.

My sleep is so, so. The last two nights I didn’t sleep well and woke up tired. There’s nothing I can do about it though, like change my thinking, because it’s happening unconsciously. It’s the type of sleep where it feels like I’m in and out of sleep all night. I don’t worry or think about anything in particular when I go to sleep or when I wake up, but I’m just not sleeping well. Yesterday I took a nap and then felt fine afterwards, but was tired all morning before the nap. This morning I woke about 7:30, got up to use the bathroom and was very tired. I went back to bed and was able to get some more sleep. I’m good now. So I’m very lucky that I can take these naps unlike some of you guys. I’m hoping that this light sleep is just part of the process and that soon I’ll be sleeping normally again. It’s just taking longer this time.

[Steve]

Sorry you are having trouble again Deb but as you say, at least you can take the naps and feel better after you take them. After I wake up, I am still tired but not exhausted. And as I said, I don’t have to sweat out an alarm anymore because I can work from home.

gsdmom – I’m not surprised you ran into a lot of people on the trail. Hiking and riding a bike is pretty much the only exercise we can get now. I hope you start sleeping better again soon. Maybe with the office closed for awhile you’ll face less stress.

Hang in there everyone.

[LCF]

I have finished my first read through of The Sleep Book, and it strikes me that the techniques outlined in the book are precisely what my Grief Counsellor trained me on three years ago. Her take on it was that two 20-minute daily sessions of mindfulness (with a focus on the breath) would help me stay calm and help me sleep.

Life got in the way, subsequently, but I do know these techniques already. Most of the time I can just live with my thoughts, but the one that always makes me alarmed and alert is the thought that my husband will die from his cancer, whether it be in a year, or five. That one I am not able to just welcome in (for obvious reasons).

Now, with the Coronavirus changing all of our lives, I have a new thought to keep me alert: what if our hospitals become so stretched for resources that they start to triage cancer patients? My husband, with his stage 4 cancer at the age of 70, would be in the group that would be triaged out.

Of course that hasn’t happened, and it may not, b ut the mind is wilful and thinks what it wants to think.

[Mac0908]

I don’t want to upset anyone or concern anyone, but today was quite possibly the worst zombie day of my entire life. I literally could not stand straight, felt dizzy all day, and at times felt light headed enough to the point where I thought I was going to pass out. This is 1000% because of what is going on in the world (on top of my already pre-existing insomnia-related anxiety). The thing is, most of this week including last night, like my usual routine, I went to bed rather calm. Heart not racing, mind not racing. But I could tell for sure in the back of my mind I still cannot wrap my head around what is going on. Here in New York it’s reached a bit of a scary level. People on the streets just down the block from me wearing face masks which can only be described as creepy, supermarket shelves completely empty like I’ve never seen in my lifetime, everything except essential closed, work relying on me to come in and step up, a takeout burger place telling me to order on the phone and they’ll bring me the food in my car, my barbershop closing leaving me looking a mess. Surreal is the understatement of the century for me today.

I honestly am more strong than I might sound in this post. I’m not freaking out and calling people screaming for help by any means, and I’ve even comforted a few people at work this week as I am very optimistic about this all. But I don’t know. Hard to explain my anxiety. I guess it’s just the extreme underlying type, if that’s a thing. I know we’ll get past this, but the fact that the (my) world is upside down just destroys me deep down. It was very hard today being at work seeing everyone kind of cheery at the end of the day, making jokes and trying to make everyone laugh, and I kind of just hid in my cubicle completely sleep deprived to a point like I’ve never experienced before. I was literally almost unable to hold a conversation today, that’s how bad it was. I hope and I pray that this calms down in a few weeks and the peak of the “curve” happens sooner than they think.

On ONE good note that I’d like to share. Finally beginning Monday I will be working from home. It will not be easy, but for me it is better than going into the office with everything that is going on. Steve, Deb and everyone else please be well.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Mac0908.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Mac0908.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Mac0908.

[Steve]

I know what you mean Mac. These are certainly trying times. It’s odd in that I think I have been getting more sleep but seem to be more dizzy and lightheaded. I’m just wondering if the sleep I have been getting isn’t as deep as I think it is. I also wonder if I do get the virus, will my lack of sleep mean I won’t have enough energy to fight it off? I’m not sitting here stressing about that but I do think about it at times. I think you will feel a bit better Mac once you don’t have to wake up to an alarm.

Deb – How are you doing? Do you think the world’s situation is what is making it harder for you to recover this time?

Stay healthy everyone.

[gsdmom]

Yeah for the sleep drive working. The night before slept about 3.5 hours, then yesterday I made a point of getting lots of fresh air and exercise, listened to guided meditation and at night finally slept for 8.5 hours. Today I’m officially laid off for almost 2 weeks so it will be interesting to see if the stress reduction from work will help with insomnia.

Deb – yes, my husband is very inconsiderate, and has contributed to extending my insomnia. Since you are a marriage counselor and understand personality disorders and such, I would describe him as a malignant narcissist. Statistically, his life expectancy is very short due to health reasons, so that helps me cope.

Mac – there have been days when I’ve felt dizzy like that too, and even more scary is the brain fog, as forgetting people’s names and words in the middle of a conversation. I wonder if you stay in the light sleep stage for an extended time? Insomnia definitely has affected memory, word recall, and mental math calculations. I know living in the NYC area can also be especially stressful and competitive even without the coronavirus. I used to live nearby and spent some time in the summers with my grandma on E. 72nd St. Hoping you can relax and get restored at home this coming week.

[Deb]

Mac – so glad you’ll be staying at home for awhile. Hope the insomnia improves during this time.

Gdsmom – how about dropping off that husband of yours at an emergency room where he’ll catch the virus? Ha ha! (Bad joke)

Steve – I don’t think my insomnia has been affected by what’s going on. My husband and I are pretty laid back, just hanging out at home doing stuff. I’m concerned but not really freaked out about things. Of course if one of my kids got struck, that would be another thing. I do have some concerns about my son and his fiancé, a nurse, who live together. I hope the hospitals get their masks and protective gear soon.

I came down with a bug yesterday. It’s probably the sort of bug that I usually get about this time of the year. Anyway, I will just be staying home away from everyone. Very nice that we have such great technology and that it’s free to stay in touch with most folks, so that we don’t feel completely isolated. Any of you who here who are living completely alone, please stay in touch here so we can support you and make it feel less isolating.

[Steve]

gsdmom – So glad you got that 8.5 hours. I wish I can get that. The best I can do is 7 on a very good night and that’s not all that often. Therefore, dizziness and eye problems affect me a lot. Brain fog as well when I get the real bad sleep. Thankfully though, no memory problems.

Deb – Yes, being alone is tough. I have been ordered to work from home so I don’t see anyone all day long. I have been going out to places like the grocery store and fast food places just to get out but now that we have to stay home starting tomorrow, it’s going to be tough. Stay well Deb and stay away from other people. Hope you get rid of that bug soon.

[Author]

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