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I know I do, the first time I ever slept in a bed with a woman was Jessica, we both have insomnia and we decided to see if being in love and sleeping in the same bed cuddled up would work, it did.
We slept 10 hours, woke up and it felt like we could conquer the world, so refreshed so happy, it was amazing.
So has anyone else noticed any improvements in their sleep when with a loved one?
For the most part, yes. When Brandon has a really bad day, his PTSD rears its ugly head a little, so he'll toss and turn all night. And he steals the covers. And he's a bed hog.
But, my God, when he's home and I know he's there it's like ten thousand pounds off my shoulders.
An interesting topic, Franky. I think most of us reading this would assume that sleeping with a loved one would allow us to sleep better. I've heard the opposite from some people, though – would be interesting to hear if anyone here actually finds they sleep worse when someone else is in bed with them.
Completely turning this on its head – I wonder how difficult it is for non-insomnia sufferers to try to sleep alongside an insomnia sufferer who might be tossing and turning all night?
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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
'Martin' wrote on '05:An interesting topic, Franky. I think most of us reading this would assume that sleeping with a loved one would allow us to sleep better. I've heard the opposite from some people, though – would be interesting to hear if anyone here actually finds they sleep worse when someone else is in bed with them.
Completely turning this on its head – I wonder how difficult it is for non-insomnia sufferers to try to sleep alongside an insomnia sufferer who might be tossing and turning all night?
Funny you should mention that. My husband gets annoyed when I lay there awake because I tend to twitch, like shaking a foot. More than once I have been “accidentally” elbowed to knock it off.
'Martin' wrote on '05:An interesting topic, Franky. I think most of us reading this would assume that sleeping with a loved one would allow us to sleep better. I've heard the opposite from some people, though – would be interesting to hear if anyone here actually finds they sleep worse when someone else is in bed with them.
Completely turning this on its head – I wonder how difficult it is for non-insomnia sufferers to try to sleep alongside an insomnia sufferer who might be tossing and turning all night?
Whenever I'd have a party and people needed a place to crash, whenever I had people here and someone shared a bed with me they'd always wake up in the morning saying something like “when you sleep you don't move or do anything, you're very easy to sleep by” I just tell them I didn't sleep, I just lay and close my eyes hoping I would sleep.
I've had some people say they didn't sleep well while sleeping in the same bed as me, dono why they just couldn't sleep happened a few times.
I can't sleep at all if I'm sharing a bed, no matter how in love I am. I might get a couple of hours at best. The only way I could live with someone again is either separate beds (or even better) separate rooms! Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter have adjacent houses – I think that would be perfect LOL
I don't find it makes any difference, to be honest. My insomnia is just as bad when I'm in bed with my partner as it is when he or I are away for whatever reason.
I know that my insomnia can adversely affect my boyfriend. I toss and turn, read the internet or something on my iPhone, do anything short of getting up to distract myself from the boredom and loneliness. I should get up, of course, but I'm sure you know what it's like; even though you're absolutely miserable, you're so lacking in motivation and energy that it can seem like an insurmountable challenge.
Try and put me in bed with anyone else but my boyfriend, and not only do I not sleep, but I completely lose it. I come from a kind of odd extended family who don't see a problem with putting you in a bed with your mother, cousin or whatever, so when I have to do my familial duty and stay with them, this can happen. To be fair, they mostly seem to realise I hate it now, but the idea freaks me out nevertheless.
Sadly I sleep worse with hubby. He snores (even wearing nose strips) and if I'm not asleep before him then I cannot drop off as I tune into him. Even if he's not snoring I tune into his breathing. Some nights I have slept on the settee and some nights he has to let me sleep (bless him). Though most nights I either go to bed first to allow me to fall asleep or we go to bed together and he waits til I drop off before he stops reading. The light doesn't affect me.
OK, this is a good one. My husband is a truck driver who is gone 4 to 6 nights a week, so it should not be an issue. But we started sleeping apart several years ago. I have nerve damage in my back and have a great deal of pain on a regular mattress, thank goodness for my king size waterbed. BUT, my husband's snoring not only makes noise it can cause the water filled mattress to vibrate! Try sleeping through that. But then my darling started developing problems in his neck & upper back and had to switch to a firm regular mattress. So our solution was to get him a really good set and he sleeps in another room when he is actually home. But we do not have seperate rooms, just seperate beds.
However, I actually do sleep better with loved ones, my cats. From one to all three, I do better when they snuggle up to me at night.
I have to admit I'm one of those people who sleeps worse with my loved one. He snores and wakes me up. then its impossible for me to go back to sleep. I toss and turn all night and I finally I wake him up. Though he has no problem going back to sleep , he literally could sleep standing up, through an earthquake and typhoon. 😎
I don't know if mine necessarily counts because my guy doesn't really count as a “loved one,” but for me it depends on the night. For the most part I sleep better with him but there are times when I just cannot sleep and he knows it. And strangely (or not), I sleep better if we're cuddling. 🙄 I love cuddling!
Recently hubby and I have both been ill so taken it in turns to sleep on sofa so as to give the other a good nights sleep and make sure the kdis know which of us is on wet bed duty lol. We have BOTH slept better for it and he doesn't have insomnia!
You know, I remember reading something that debated the whole tradition of couples sleeping together in the same bed. Apparently, in the olden days only the poor would sleep together; the aristocracy would always have separate beds. As you became wealthier, you could afford the extra space (and bed) and no longer needed to sleep with your partner.
Over time however, this tradition took a big shift and now it's seen as 'normal' to sleep in the same bed as your partner. The article I read (I wish I could remember where I found it) questioned the wisdom of this – arguing that couples that sleep together get less sleep, and as a result are less healthy. It also challenged the stigma that couple who choose not to share a bed (or even a room) face.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
'Martin' wrote on '03:You know, I remember reading something that debated the whole tradition of couples sleeping together in the same bed. Apparently, in the olden days only the poor would sleep together; the aristocracy would always have separate beds. As you became wealthier, you could afford the extra space (and bed) and no longer needed to sleep with your partner.
I also read an article along these lines a couple of months ago (might have been New Scientist). Apparently the norm of couples sharing a bed is a result of the industrial revolution and space being at a premium in cities.
I am one who can't sleep without my partner which is part of the reason for my insomnia. We're currently living on either side of England and wont have the opportunity to live together for at least another 18 months. On the few occasions we do get to see eachother and spend the night, I sleep like a baby. Annoying, but what can ya do? 🙂
Sounds like you read the same article!
Would be interesting to see how your sleep progresses long term once you are together with your partner – fingers crossed that elusive sleep will stick around!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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