[Steven2]

Hi all,

My name is Steven, I’m referred by a friend to join this forum. I’m a foreigner working in Minneapolis area. I had insomnia problem since mid of February 2020, during which a series accidents happened including pandemic that led to me this issue. I would never believe I could get trapped by this issue for so long.. I think the biggest sleep challenge is my anxiety on sleep. I cannot stop thinking about it like every 2 or 3 minutes unless I’m concentrated on something. My anxiety automatically gets worse as night approaching. In the past, I felt like sleep is an enjoyable experience; no matter how many things are on my plate for tomorrow, I always have the option to forget all of them by sleeping. Now, I felt sleep is more or less like a task, which is frustrating.
Also, since I had insomnia issue, I felt very lonely.

I have 2 questions that I want to share.
1) Recently, I’m making a decision of switching to a company which offers a more competitive role. I tried best to pass all interviews despite insomnia. I did this at the beginning because I wanted to change my environment and most importantly to challenge myself. Since I have been very disappointed about myself since the insomnia started. I have accepted the offer, however now I’m hesitant about this decision. I am worrying whether or not I could succeed this position with insomnia… I felt like I could be very depressed if I allow myself to quit this opportunity because of worries related to insomnia.. Did anyone face this type of hard decision before? I would appreciate any advice.
2) I’m seeking advice for how to prepare sleep. Since I had insomnia, I tried to prepare sleep by reading. However, I’m not used to read a lot before bedtime, so this is not something that I would typically do without insomnia. Reading does help me feel more sleepy but I felt it might also at the same time reminds myself that sleep is not an enjoyment but a task that I need to prepare for.. I also get anxious about thinking about what things should I do to prepare for my sleep. Anyone had similar experience?

At the end, I want to share a tip that I have about using sleep restriction therapy. I tired the therapy briefly for 2-3 weeks with a 7 – 7.5 hr sleep window. I could feel the improvement, at the end, I was able to sleep around 6 hrs per day for continuous 9 days. However my sleep restriction method got disrupted by my moving to another apartment and interviews.

I hope we all can have great sleep for the rest of our lives!

[rozanaspokesman]

HI

[Chee2308]

Greetings Steve!
Everyone gets occasional sleep disruption whenever they encounter a major life event, such as moving to a new place or starting on a new job. This is completely normal! Then when event passes, your sleep usually gets back on track by itself. If it doesn’t, this usually means you are getting caught up in this insomnia trap, unwilling to experience some sleep disruption and have made this into such a big deal that your entire day becomes engulfed by it. Just stop playing the game. Accept and expect that you will have some sleep disruption and it’s okay. Don’t make sleep your focus in daily life. Do things that you enjoy and not because you want to make sleep happen. Take on that new job, don’t read before bed if you don’t enjoy it. Play games, watch movies or do whatever interests you. Just stop making sleep a goal in life! Good luck and I believe you will slowly get back on track as you begin letting go. So many have left the struggle because they stopped controlling and obesessing about sleep, and you can do this too! Best wishes.

[Steven2]

Hi Chee, Thanks for your response!
Can you share with me some of your experience regarding how did you overcome anxiety and all sorts of depressions caused by insomnia? Especially, how do you deal with anxiety and depression after having a bad night of sleep.. I have a strong feeling that if I’m able to overcome and just completely let it go, I should be able recover within 2 months. But the funny part is that despite how certain I am, I just can’t let it go… In your experience, is there any other reasons causing insomnia except for anxiety, depression and certain health issue?

By the way, I decided to take the job! I like what you said.

[Chee2308]

Hello Steve!
My initial experience with insomnia was due to a health reason. Previously I had many nights with little sleep, on and off, but they never bothered me because sleep didn’t show on my radar so my sleep always went back to normal. Then because of a health scare, I didn’t sleep for 24 hours and that was the first time sleep became an obessesion and I thought this was extremely serious and I could die from it. Long story short, I now realise nothing can be further from the truth. Nobody can ever forget or lose the ability to sleep, this thing is hard-wired inside everyone, just that you may or may not be aware of it. Sleep works exactly like hunger, if you are deprived of food for a long time, then you naturally just get hungry. Likewise you go on for long time without sleep, for normal people this is around 16-18 hours of continuous wakefulness, you just naturally get sleepy. Everything is entirely regulated by your own body so trying to actively control it is pointless and even stupid.

Put it this way, do you try to control your breathing? Do you tell yourself you must breathe 200-300x a minute because you are somehow convinced you become deprived of oxygen if you don’t? No, it is pointless because your body does this for you! This is exactly what we are trying to do with our sleep. It doesn’t matter. Your body will make you sleep if it really needs it, if you don’t then it must mean:
1. Your body is well-rested and doesn’t need it (6 hours is enough for most people),
2. You are too worried and stressed over something, in this case, getting poor or little sleep. Even in this instance, your body will still make you sleep enough to keep you alive, so worrying about it is not only futile but also completely needless and unnecessary.

To get over this, you have to stop fearing poor sleep. And you can only do this when you become aware that sleep doesn’t really affect the quality of your day. Insomnia is also very much an obessesion about sleep, and the entire thing feeds off the attention, when the attention stops, it just dies. Best wishes.

[Steven2]

Thank you.

[Author]

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