[Chrissy nz]

Hello everyone just checking in To share a little bit about my experience. I have always been a good sleeper and experienced my first insomnia episode when I was 37. That was 10 years ago and I have dotted in-and-out in-and-out of insomnia a handful of time since then. The crazy thing is when I’m not in an episode, sleep deprivation feels so avoidable and silly. But when you’re in it, struggling to keep your eyes open during the day-and at night time lying awake, It feels like the ugliest most horrible monster. I can say from firm experience that following Martin’s advice on sleep windows and stimulus control works. Short term pain for long term gain is the mantra I keep in my head when I am in the thick of it. But it doesn’t help that I feel I should know better how to avoid the pitfalls of bad sleep yet it I find myself revisiting it in times of stress. Isn’t our brain a powerful tool for good and for not so good? The upside is what can be learned in a negative setting can also be turned on its head swiftly (sometimes courageously) addressing our behaviors around it. It’s very empowering to know that I can control my behaviors to my thoughts rather than letting the thoughts control me. Practice makes perfect. I am also learning that sitting with these thoughts and giving them space rather than trying to push them away is much more effective than trying to banish them. It’s not an easy road and it requires work, everyday. But it is amazing how my perspective changes after a relatively good nights sleep, and I’m talking 4 hours after 2 hours the night before!

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum, Chrissy — and thanks for sharing your experience and insight!

I totally agree that the brain can generate helpful thoughts and feelings and unhelpful thoughts and feelings. Simply being aware of this can be so useful — because we always get to choose how we react to those thoughts and feelings.

Helpful? Great — we can react in a workable way (such as not crossing the street when it’s filled with traffic or jumping out of a moving car).

Not helpful? (What if you don’t sleep tonight?) Thanks, brain — I’ll now refocus my attention and actions on whatever is most useful at the current time.

You’ll likely continue to experience unhelpful thoughts (and reactions) for as long as you are a human being! Even if you learn new ways of responding to thoughts, the old ways will always be there — there’s no delete button for the brain, after all (if you learned Spanish, you wouldn’t then forget English, right?)!

Of course, this process is rarely easy — it requires practice — and, as you shared, our perspective can be a whole lot different after difficult nights or when we’re really tangled up in a lot of difficult thoughts and feelings!

Thanks again for sharing!

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[eloise491]

Hi Chrissy…
I can relate to your post because I’ve been doing CBT for insomnia for 30 years and get so frustrated with myself when it returns! I know what to do so think I should be able to avoid a relapse, or at the very least should be able to get back to better sleep quickly, but as I age it seems to be taking longer to regain some “normalcy”. Like you, 4 hours instead of 2 is now a “win”!
Also, as I get older (am in my 80s now) I worry that the sleeplessness will impact my health, though my cardiologist knows about it and doesn’t seem concerned. I exercise 30 minutes daily (at 6pm) and am able to ignore the fatigue and function normally most days, but do get down on myself for not “getting it right” after all these years of practice.

Have been reading lately about “short sleepers” who need less sleep than most people and can function well on few hours. I wonder if we are in that category and if so, does that affect how we do sleep restriction.

[dbaldino]

I really appreciate the insight of this group and this forum. I will be 70 my next birthday and I relapse often also. I know the brain is powerful enough to relapse and then cure. It is just sometimes hard to “wrap” around the thoughts and accept them at 2:00 am. Even when I don’t sleep well, I still feel okay during the day. I have thought about taking different meds but the side effects are next day drowsiness. Whaaaat? I can experience that naturally! 🙂 I will continue to manage my thoughts and work through this like both of you are doing. Dr. Carbonell has a book called “Outsmart Your Anxious Brain.” It is excellent and “cured” me of anxiety. I hope this helps.

[Author]

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