[lk_writer]

I’m at breaking point & don’t know what to do. I’m 29 & have always loved sleep & getting into bed but for the past month I’ve had sudden severe insomnia.

Backstory: I was recently made redundant which led to me setting up a business (highly stressful) & after that I also had a big health scare where docs thought I had a brain bleed. During that time I had terrible head pain which kept me awake at night & I also forced myself to stay awake as it was very scary & I didn’t know if I was dying. (Tests came back clear).

Anyway, pain’s gone but now I have insomnia. I only get 2-4 hours of broken sleep a night. I meditate, lie down & my body just won’t go to sleep. I eventually fall asleep at around 4am presumably cos my brain kicks in & forces me to sleep? But then I wake up around an hour, or hour and a half later for no reason. I feel so alone as most insomniacs say they have a few bad nights a week but this is EVERY night for me for a month.

I’m scared my brain is damaged & has affected the part of the brain that tells me I’m tired because I don’t get tired/sleepy anymore – I’m constantly wired. Does anyone else not get tired? There’s no way before all of this I could’ve survived off this little sleep. I always used to get sleepy in the evening but that’s gone – & forget napping. I used to be able to nod off anywhere. Either that I’m subconsciously anxious and it’s permanent which scares me that I’ll need to go on sedatives or something & end up in an asylum. I’ve read horror stories online of people being hospitalised from insomnia. I’m scared I’ll lose my mind from lack of sleep.

I’ve tried everything (meditation, sleeping pills, exercise, sleep hygiene, self-help books.) It’s completely wrecked my life. I was such an outgoing person with everything going for me & now I’m on the verge of losing everything. I don’t even sleep in the same bed as my bf anymore & can tell he’s fed up. On top of that I read stories of people having this for years. I can’t go on like this for years, I can’t cope! Please tell me this will get better? (I’ve started therapy but if anything my sleep’s got worse. I’m hesitant to try sleep restriction as I’m worried it’ll sacrifice the little sleep I’m actually getting.)

🙁

[delv-x]

Hello there,

Hopefully you will find some comfort in knowing you aren’t alone and a lot of people struggle with insomnia. In a day I can hear commercials and co-workers talk about how badly they’ve slept. The good news is this is relatively new for you (only a month) and you are nipping it in the bud early. Many struggle for years before they do anything about it. Other good news is that from what I am reading they didn’t find any medical reason for your insomnia other than the short term head pain.

The constant wired feeling can be anxiety or as you say “subconsciously anxious”. Sleep is important and as you said that you used to be a great sleeper so I can understand your worry about lack of sleep and its effects.

The therapist you are working with, is he/she certified to do CBT-I? or just a general therapist? One familiar with CBT-I may be able to provide more insight.

One thing that seemed to help me and is easier said than done is that after a few weeks of thinking and worrying about sleep, I started to give up. What I mean by that is the less I thought about it or worried about it, the better I slept. It is easier said than done and I still struggle but I do find excess worry exacerbates the issue.

[lk_writer]

Thanks for replying. Do you have any tips on how to not care or does it just take time? I’m trying not to care but in my subconscious I keep thinking, I don’t sleep I’ll die or end up needing to be drugged up so my body won’t let me sleep as it regularly checks if I’m asleep. I’ve got some CBTi booked so hopefully that will help.

[delv-x]

Everyone is different and I am still struggling here and there. One big point is sleep is as ingrained deep down to our most basic physiological needs. You never ever unlearn how to sleep. It is as basic as breathing. Try holding your breath. You will eventually take a deep breath.

Tips for not caring that may help

– Keep busy with work, school, social commitments. When you keep busy your mind through the day and evening won’t be as preoccupied with sleep

– Do have a wind down routine but don’t overdo it. Don’t do a bath, bust out the lavender, drink herbal tea’s, listen to music, use blue light blocking glasses. Doing it all may set up too much expectation. Keep it simple, read and have a tea or whatever.

– Progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness meditation and visualization may help. You may need to spend some time with it. It sounds like you already have from your previous post.

The mind always checking if it’s asleep or not is one I am trying to work through. It is more often if I try to nap during the day. Ill fall nod off and just as I do I wake up. I think it has to to with anxiety so I am trying to relax and meditate more.

[Daf]

Super advice there. Read more of the blog posts on here too – just seeing that you are not alone will help a lot.

Plus there is a lot of good advice on here from people who suffered and got better. You may have to spend some time to find it, but it’s there…

Partial quote from a man at another site I read sais this…

Partial quote from bemmeh:

…The moment I stopped struggling against insomnia it simply started going away, though not suddenly. It took quite a while. But the improvement was real from the start. Insomnia is not a thing in itself. The ability to sleep is so strong among us, humans or animals in general, that it is almost impossible to seriously alter it. Insomnia in us humans appears when we TRY (and therefore struggle) to sleep. You just need to stop doing all the things you are doing FOR sleeping and let your body and mind do whatever they want – if you sleep it’s OK but if you don’t, that’s OK too (everybody has bad sleep for all kinds of reasons once in a while). When sleep time comes just go to bed, close your eyes, and rest. Don’t TRY to sleep, as you are used to do. Just rest! If sleep comes that’s OK, if it doesn’t that’s OK too, you haven’t been very successful in getting the amount and quality of sleep you have desired anyway – that’s why you call yourself an insomniac. So why keep on trying/desiring? Just let it go. Accept your reality and move on to the things in life you can control over. Sleep is not something we can control. You just need to trust your body and mind for it and stop trying to do anything whatsoever for it. Good luck!

 

[Martin Reed]

Sorry to hear about your struggles with sleep. Your story is not actually uncommon — most cases of insomnia start with an identifiable period of stress or a major life change (such as a career change or health scare) since it’s only natural that times like this disrupt sleep.

Unfortunately, once the trigger passes, sometimes our sleep doesn’t recover. Normally this happens because we now find ourselves worrying about sleep and paying far more attention to sleep than we ever did before. This immediately makes sleep more difficult and starts a vicious cycle of ever-increasing worry about sleep, and ever-worse sleep.

I would suggest making sure that you only go to bed when you feel drowsy and sleepy — but, at the same time, make sure you are always out of bed by the same time every day.

Techniques such as sleep restriction rarely lead to less sleep because the sleep window is calculated by adding to your average sleep duration. With that being said, some CBT-I techniques may lead to less sleep in the short-term, but in exchange (and with commitment and dedication) you will enjoy long-term improvements in your sleep.

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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