[Lozelise]

Much of the thoughts around curing insomnia seem to lie in thought switching and perspective on sleep, but what happens if you’re not anxious and thinking anything and still lie awake anyway?

I feel like I’m getting to a great place with my thoughts, to a point where I’m not thinking anything and actually feel calm in bed- yet I still like awake tossing turning?

If I’m calm enough, and my thoughts aren’t racing – shouldn’t I be drifting off? It’s making me nervous because I feel like im not putting any effort into sleep and yet im still awake.

[Chee2308]

The short answer to your question is no. What you describe is simply what people do when they lie in bed but aren’t sleepy and then they lie there for hours and hours, expecting to sleep which isn’t coming because they thought being calm means sleepy. No it does not, being calm doesn’t guarantee sleep either! The only thing that does is being awake long enough, there’s no way around this so if you want to sleep more you need to cut back first. Which means being awake more and sleeping less. It’s like draining and recharging your phone, don’t be surprised when your charge level isn’t going up when it’s already fully charged! You need to use the phone and discharge it first, of course. Simple observations like these will help you understand sleep more and how it works. Ultimately, why do you keep thinking being awake is a problem?? The problem with insomnia is that thinking there’s a problem when there’s none BECOMES THE PROBLEM.

[Lozelise]

I’m seeing others posts in this forum from people who claim to not sleep at all for four days in a row, or that sleep restriction just doesn’t work. It seems impossible to me that people’s body’s could actually go with so little sleep for so long. It’s making me lose hope and think that maybe my insomnia is transitioning to that level of severity. Previously I didn’t think it was possible to not sleep at all for more than a day! Now I’m afraid to try sleep restriction- if it doesn’t work, what hope is there? I feel like this forum has harmed my sleep more at this point

[Chee2308]

You are already afraid of things that hasn’t happened yet and may never even happen at all. So you are basically fear-mongering based on what complete strangers are saying about their experiences. Well how familiar are you about these people? Do you know all of them personally or even interacted with them? If you have next to no idea who these people are, why do you pay so much attention to what they are saying? Do they know what they’re talking about? Have they done a polysomnography (sleep study) which shows they have been awake for days with ZERO sleep? Did you know that a lot of insomniacs actually underestimate how much they slept? Because they get confused between sleeping and being awake and many end up vastly overstating their symptoms. Once you begin to think something is wrong, you will go all out and find plain nothings to justify your fears! That’s just human nature.

Ultimately, if you feel forums are not the best idea or harm you, then what’s stopping you from disassociating? Please get off and stop going on forums to find answers. Whatever replies you get are unimportant because it still doesn’t generate sleepiness. Like I said, sleep is on a whole new league of its own, it happens independently of everything else, your body just knows how much it needs, there is practically NO WAY it can go wrong and therefore your intervention in any form is unnecessary. Sleep in some form will still happen regardless of any anxiety or worry, but you would have needlessly carried this burden over nothing and could actually make it worse because you have now given your mind something to worry about, when all it needs for a good night sleep is being at peace with yourself in conjunction with sufficient sleep drive built up over sufficient wakefulness. Good luck to you and I hope you find your relief soon.

[Martin Reed]

Insomnia is kept alive by all our attempts to get rid of it. If you are tossing and turning during the night, that implies that there might be a bit of a struggle going on — and struggle tends to make things more difficult.

Sleep restriction (nor any other action, for that matter) can make sleep happen because sleep cannot be directly controlled. Sleep restriction is simply one tool that can help us move away from chasing after sleep, trying to make it happen (for example, by doing things like going to bed earlier or staying in bed later).

No matter how severe someone’s insomnia might be, they will always sleep in the end. It’s impossible to stay awake indefinitely. The longer we are awake, the more likely sleep is to happen. The more we actively try to make sleep happen, the more difficult it becomes — but it will still happen in the end.

If you recognize that spending time on insomnia forums isn’t proving helpful, it might be worth taking a break from them — you are the expert on you!

I hope this helps and I wish you all the best. You aren’t alone.

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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