[Sleepless.in.WV]

My family used to laugh at me because I could fall asleep so easy. At this time in my life, sleep feels like a joke, and unfortunately, the joke is on me. When I turned 60 years old in 2015, my life began unraveling. I found out my husband was having an affair with a coworker. He filed for divorce in March 2016, our oldest daughter age 35 passed away in February 2017, our homeplace was destroyed by fire in April 2017, my divorce was final in December 2017 after almost 41 years of marriage. It took months for God to get me back on my feet. I returned to work as a sub teacher in May 2018. Then my son age 33 passed away in June 2019. My faith in God is the only thing that has given me the strength to live.
Life was doable as long as I kept myself busy and stayed distracted by working, going to church, travelling, etc. Then came COVID shutdown in March 2020 and it took all my distractions away. The day before the shutdown, we buried my 63-year old brother. Afterwards, I spent too much time in isolation, on social media, and in my head. In August 2020, the anger of my past losses coupled with the uncertainty of COVID and the uprising and craziness in our country, brought about my first ever panic attack. It was like a tsunami. I began not sleeping and began trying all kinds of OTC sleep meds. Although I was still not sleeping well, I returned to subbing and after seven days, I experienced my second horrific panic attack while I was teaching. Because I thought I was having a heart attack, I ended up in the hospital 3 days. Afterwards, I was unable to work and went to doctors, psychiatrists, counselors, and had a sleep study. In October 2020, my 85-year old mom passed away. Finally, in January 2021, I was prescribed kholonopin which helped me fall asleep by calming my racing mind. I returned to work, but it has been a struggle because I am still awakened in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and have trouble falling back to sleep. Need suggestions and prayers.

[hiker]

Hi, Sleepless in WV, it sounds like you are really going through the mill right now. I would think most of us would have situational insomnia going through so many traumatic experiences. I know that when I experienced severe trauma earlier in life, I could not have made it through without mental/emotional health treatment, any more than I could have healed on my own when I broke my leg completely in two.

I also strongly believe in prayer, but I don’t think God is the least bit put out when we seek such treatment. He does not expect us to just sort of pray our way out of it. A number of conservative Christian pastors have had serious mental health issues because they have thought that seeking help was a sign of weak faith. It isn’t.

Panic attacks are awful. Been there. There are some prescription meds which can help. This alone would be a reason to seek out a psychiatrist, i.e. an M.D. who is authorized to prescribe.

As for chronic insomnia (insomnia hanging around even after dealing with trauma), it can definitely take on a life of its own. I know from long experience that there is no one med. which cures it; if there were, people would be lined up for miles.

Not a snap cure or anything, but the best help I have gotten (after the mental health treatment for specific trauma) has been from practicing mindfulness. I know it is kind of a fad right now, but it has been around for about 3,000 years. I have been using it to deal with the Covid mess and political polarization you refer to. A couple of free websites below.

And I think Martin’s course is really focused on how our thoughts can work against us if we don’t realize it. As you point out, we can spend too much time in our heads. And not all social media is garbage, but a lot of it does smell pretty bad. Easy to go down a rabbit hole and think there is no hope anymore.

mindfulnessnorthwest.com
palousemindfulness.com

Also, I used to volunteer at the Crisis Line. It is a good resource. When I worked there, the phone system for some reason directed everybody to us here in Seattle. But we have a nationwide directory which can steer you to resources in your community.

You are not alone.

[Up all nite]

Hey, to Sleepless in W.V. I would like to say how sorry I am for all the losses you have experienced in the last 6 years. Sometimes life just sucks. I share a similar story. My insomnia is a result of a traumatic relationship event. I’m working hard on both issues. Right now the insomnia comes first. I have found that no one will take better care of me than me. I am finding the information on insomnia coach.com to be some of the best so far. The change in how I now think about insomnia has been a tremendous help. I believe in my case the relationship and the insomnia are intertwined, they feed off each other. Therefore as one improves (hopefully) so does the other. I wish you luck with your insomnia and in your life. Everyone else, it all starts in your head. I read somewhere “ what you feed grows”. Easier said than done but having the right mental attitude and giving positive thought to where you want go ( with your insomnia, in life) is the key I think. I believed for a long time that insomnia from a health stand point was probably going to kill me. Not any more. Now it’s just another of life’s curveballs. Eventually I’ll learn how to knock it out of the park. I hope you do too. Best wishes everyone.

[Author]

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