Welcome to the forum, Hollyjra. You mention that you have had sleeping disorders your whole life — have you been diagnosed with a sleep disorder other than insomnia?
It sounds as though you have some hyperarousal and this may explain why you suddenly become highly alert when you are about to sleep. You might find these videos helpful:
The reason why you feel alert and wide-awake as soon as you get into bed
Why you feel a sense of panic when you drift off to sleep (or when you wake during the night)
Why you feel so sleepy before the sleep window begins, but feel wide awake as it gets closer
Have you looked into (or tried) cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques?
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