[donnalouise72]

Hi, I have had some issues with sleep for over a year, im peri menopausal. I’m went through a bad bout last year and restricted my sleep for a few days , always keeping my wake up time the same. It helped and I managed to get 5-6 hours a night.

Unfortunately the problem is back. I’ve had a few bad nights where I didn’t sleep at all so enrolled on the NHS CBT I course. They put me on a 1.00am to 630am sleep schedule. The first week started okay and I managed to fall asleep straight away and wake at 5-530. Is was fine until I stayed in our motorhome where I really struggle to sleep. As I woke up at 5-520 every morning I suggested that my sleep time could be 12 midnight to 530am – I struggled greatly by 2230 with yawning and head nodding. Since implementing this new sleep plan, my sleep is worse and I’m getting less sleep, also I find I’m more focused on sleep which leads to more anxiety. I’m on week 3 and not noticed any difference just more anxiety. Last night we stayed at a festival in the motorhome, we got back at 2315 and got into bed at 1200 as it was so cold – I knew as soon as I got in bed that I wouldn’t be able to switch uff and I didn’t. I got out of bed, but it was freezing so went back to bed to do my puzzle – I didn’t get sleepy enough to go to sleep so at best I dozed around 4 ish and alarm off at 530.

Is this CBT I right for me? Should I be tweaking it? I tried ‘staying awake’ last night, I also tried thinking about one word… nothing worked.. It doesn’t help that my husband can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and tries to stay up with me, which makes me feel guilty so prob go to bed earlier than I should. Any help would be really appreciated.

[Denim]

I tried CBT and it didn’t work for me. Tried it for 3 months. I found it very rigid. It made my anxiety worse. But it does work for a lot of people.

[Martin Reed]

Hello @donnalouise72 and welcome to the forum!

CBT-I has been proven effective and yet, as as shared by @Denim, it isn’t always helpful for everyone.

In my experience, that’s because CBT-I techniques can sometimes end up becoming a whole new set of rules and rituals that are implemented in an effort to control sleep or to otherwise fight or avoid nighttime wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with it.

Ultimately, we cannot control sleep. There’s no magic sleep switch we can flick to make sleep happen. For as long as we try to control sleep, we are more likely to struggle with sleep. If you think back to a time when sleep was not a concern, how much effort did it require? How many rituals and rules were needed?

Similarly, we cannot control our thoughts and feelings. Sure, we can temporarily distract ourselves and we can try really hard to think only “good” thoughts and try really hard to feel a certain way and to block other feelings. And yet, ultimately, all those thoughts and feelings we try to fight or avoid end up coming back at some point anyway, right?

If you have tried CBT for insomnia and found it wasn’t helpful (or doesn’t seem to be helping) it might be worth exploring an ACT for insomnia (ACT-I) approach.

ACT-I can help you move away from trying to control sleep, what you think, and how you feel. Many people find that when they become more skilled in responding to all this difficult stuff in a way that helps them move away from an endless struggle, they are better able to expand the focus of their attention and live the kind of life they want to live.

I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best!

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