[Unfatigued]

I’ve been doing CBT-I for a little over six weeks now, and I’ve recently been giving some thought to how and when I will know that the therapy is “working” (whatever that means), so that I can decide whether to continue with it or look for alternative treatments (if there are any).

Just over two years ago I started keeping a very simple sleep diary, to see if there were any patterns to my alternating good and bad sleep. Back then I was getting on average 4.5 good nights of sleep per week, by which I mean I was waking up feeling refreshed 4.5 mornings a week.

I started CBT-I because that figure had gradually decreased (over a period of about a year) from 4.5 to 1 morning a week on average. I’d like to get back to at least 4.5 (because I was reasonably happy with that), but is that a realistic goal? If not, what would be realistic?

[Unfatigued]

I had my eighth and last CBT-I session yesterday, and my therapist reassured me that yes, waking up feeling refreshed most mornings is definitely a reasonable and realistic goal – and I should keep working towards it using all the tools I now have.

The main improvements I’ve seen since I started CBT-I seven weeks ago are that I’m falling asleep quicker upon getting into bed, and my average sleep duration has increased by about 45 minutes to around 6.5 hours. I’m guessing that 6.5 hours just isn’t enough for me to feel refreshed (because in happier sleep times I used to get 7.5-8 hours a night), but on my therapist’s advice I’m considering getting a sleep apnea test just to rule out the possibility of that aggravating factor.

[Martin Reed]

In terms of realistic goals, I think that comes down to the controllability of the goals we set ourselves.

If your experience suggests that you cannot directly or permanently control how you sleep or how you feel when you wake, it might be worth considering whether that’s an appropriate (and actionable) goal.

It’s certainly something you can work toward, but perhaps it’s not something you can *make* happen — and trying to control what cannot be controlled has the potential to create some struggle.

What you might want to explore is why this is a goal. If you woke up feeling great every morning for the rest of your life, what would you be doing differently? What would you then be doing that you are not doing now? Is there an opportunity to move toward that, even if you don’t feel great when you wake in the morning?

Since you are working with a therapist it would probably be best to explore these issues with them — and I wish you all the best 🙂

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Unfatigued]

I think the simple reason that feeling refreshed most mornings is a goal is that it’s much more pleasant and feels much healthier than not feeling refreshed. I just miss that feeling.

As for what I would do differently, or do that I’m not doing now, the answer is probably not much at all. The chronic mental fatigue I have from insufficient sleep isn’t severe enough (most days) to be debilitating. It just makes daily life feel like more of a chore or an effort than it ought to be – than I know it could be.

I also don’t like unsolved mysteries. A year ago I was waking up in the morning feeling refreshed more often than not. What happened to change that, and can it be fixed? I want to know! 🙂

[Martin Reed]

It makes complete sense that you miss that feeling and want to feel refreshed every morning! After all, who wants to feel exhausted, groggy, and fatigued, right?!

Does your experience tell you that it’s possible to directly and permanently control how you feel? That there’s something you can do to make a certain feeling appear (or another one completely disappear forever) and remain that way for as long as you choose?

If not, perhaps the pursuit of that goal has the potential to set you up for a bit of a struggle — a struggle that can consume your energy and attention and actually make it a bit harder for you to do things that matter?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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