[Mercury1]

Hi all

I have read so much about CBTI and with all the research i’ve done it’s apparant that everyone has slight differences

My questions:

Is it ok for me to put my feet up on my coffee table while doing CBTI?
I’ve read somewhere that no rest is allowed.

I find that I am battling microsleeps the 45 min before my sleep window starts. Ill be watching a TV series and most of which I couldn’t tell you what happened. Head keeps going down. Should I instead stand up to avoid micro sleeps? My eyes are mostly open but blurred vision not much focus. My thinking is that having microsleeps will reduce my sleep drive.

Also i’m in a dead end job, with lots of time sitting with nothing to do at all. I’m waiting to complete CBTI before I start looking for a new job. Is this ok? I’ve read you should live life as best you can which would mean i’d have to look for a new job. I’m just worried if I get a new job while doing CBTI I might not make it past the probation period and end up unemployed. So will me not living my life fully in this aspect affect my progress? In all other areas of life i’m doing very well, running, working out, studying staying busy etc

Lastly I would like to say thankyou to all the people who work here, many times i’ve gotten hope from reading success stories and have learned a lot. Also the work you do is truly amazing

[Chee2308]

Hello there!

Happy holidays to you. May I attempt to answer some of your questions as I did cbti before?

1. Microsleeps are extremely common during the recovery process. They also happen to normal sleepers too. They are nothing but a sleepiness cue in my opinion. They serve to remind you that your sleep system still functions normally. They also won’t impact sleep drive in any major way in my experience. And yes, you can put your feet up in a coffee table. You can sit comfortably on the sofa and relax in any way you want before bedtime.

2. Your day job really doesn’t affect your sleep. Sleep drive only respond to routine (getting out of bed at regular times helps anchor your circadian rhythm) and thereby, the amount of wakefulness accumulated during the day. It doesn’t matter how you spend those wakeful hours, whether you are bored all day and probably dozing off here and there, or you spend those hours getting more engaged in a different working environment.

Hope this helps and may you find your way to peaceful sleep again. Remember that insomnia is mainly just fear. Anything that helps you manage this fear is always beneficial to your recovery journey. Best wishes to you and happy new year.

[Mercury1]

Hi thanks seasons greetings

Thanks for your reply however I think you missunderstood where I was coming from with the job question. It’s not about me being bored but more like … wouldn’t not looking for a new job make me worry more about sleep since the lack of sleep/cbti is preventing me from looking and applying.

I am saying this because CBTI is very tough to do, I could lose new job with the exhaustian. Also saying because i’m doing CBTI right now, I am afraid that because i’m letting insomnia dictate whether I get a new job it will either slow my progress down or prevent cbti from working as in I make a full recovery. Therefore going through all of this pain for nothing

[Mercury1]

I do not like where I work also and that is why I am asking this question

[Chee2308]

Hi Mercury

I think you misunderstood me. Because if you are letting insomnia/poor sleep/doing cbti dictate whether you should change job, then automatically you are already letting sleep concerns (because they are all grouped into this one big category = fear of poor sleep) influence your decision making process. What do you feel like doing if sleep isn’t a concern? Then do that, remove sleep completely from the equation.

I think it’s helpful to separate work and sleep into two distinct and independent categories. They are really not connected or related, what you decide to do in one category really doesn’t affect the other. Although in your mind, at this point, they may seem so but this connection is really only psychological and not real. You will probably start to realize this as you progress further along your recovery journey.

What I will say is, sleep doesn’t need your protection. It doesn’t need you to actively manage it. You need to be completely relaxed about it. If you are sleepy, then you are sleepy. If not sleepy, then not sleepy. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Because how/why/when you feel sleepy isn’t your fault! Don’t keep blaming yourself why you can’t sleep at designated times or why you can’t stay awake when you expect yourself to be wakeful either. Try not to perpetuate the self-blaming game. Be kind to yourself and have faith that everything will work out. Regain that trust in your own body.

Try to let go of control. The only thing you need to do is a nice comfy bed to spend a regular 6.5-7.5 hours to “rest in”. Note rest, don’t overly focus on sleep yet. Just focus on getting comfortable in bed. The rest will fall into place by itself, because your body takes care of everything else for you. Don’t track your recovery at this point, because it starts becoming elusive and the pressure to “get rid of insomnia” by so-so date almost always makes it harder to achieve, which is why you should always move on with your life, independent of sleep. Best wishes.

[Chee2308]

As you recover, you will start sleeping better and also, start waking up more. Don’t be alarmed by this because it is normal. Apply the concept of befriending wakefulness in bed, because it is okay and normal to wake up during the night. Most people who recover often can fall back asleep with little pressure or effort. Sleep almost always happens with the least amount of effort and with trying less, and when you also don’t treat night time wakefulness as a threat or something to avoid. Good luck and best wishes.

[Mercury1]

So are you saying that because i’m letting sleep dictate my decision making process then ai will not recover with CBTI/my progress will be affected.

Also I have a crush on a woman and due to lack of sleep finding it extraordinarily tough and stressful to ask her out. If rejected I cannot escape her since she a customer at work. And I really really do not want to have to deal with rejection while not sleeping/while doing cbti

[Mercury1]

You say do whatever you would do if you didnt have insomnia. Thats easier said then done, being unemployed is not an easy thing also when a crush doesnt like you back is not easy. It would be easy if sleeping, but lack of sleep makes everything so much more diffocult to deal with.

How can we do such things when they have such huge risk

[Chee2308]

It’s never easy having to deal with insomnia on top of other issues. I know because I spent months dealing with exactly the same thing. It’s not easy, but doable. It takes some time. Be extremely patient with yourself. How much time is anyone’s guess. But over time, you begin to relax and trusting your body about sleep. Because your body self regulates it.

Please go easy on yourself. Don’t pressure yourself too much on too many issues all at once. Life is never easy, but it’s manageable.

Maybe I have said too much. So I’ll keep quiet now and let you digest everything. The path out of insomnia is never about pressuring or forcing yourself. You simply let it go. Over time, you start being you again and you recognize yourself becoming more like your old self pre-insomnia. Then later, you realize your sleep ability did not change. Only your thoughts about it did. Best wishes to you in the new year.

[Mercury1]

I’m not pressuring myself on those issues, hence why I am not asking her out or looking for a new job. I am patiently doing cbti with a positive attitude. My entire week outside of work is planned and i’m busy literally all week. I have some leisure time each day of course.

You didnt answer my question though so if you can. About.. will cbti work/will my progress be severely affected if I wait until I complete cbti to look for a new job, even though I do not like my job

[Mercury1]

It’s more fear on those issues then pressure in terms of whether it will affect my progress/going through all this pain for nothing

[Chee2308]

In the short term, there may be disruption. But this is normal, even normal sleepers get sleep disruptions when they change jobs or work environments. But the difference is they don’t worry about it and they get on with their day and their sleep returns to normal. The same will happen to anyone whether they have insomnia or not. Their sleep always settles down. Focus on the long term and not temporary results. Ultimately, you want to be like the normal sleeper again, where you no longer worry about sleep.

[Mercury1]

I’m not changing jobs yet or looking yet. I’m waiting until I complete cbti and start sleeping healthily again before I look for a new job. So will this prevent cbti from working or affect my progress in a severe way?

[Chee2308]

No it will not affect. Because sleep is never under your control to begin with. Trying to control sleep is like trying to control your breathing, believing you need to breathe 400x a minute or bad things will happen. So you obsessively try to count your breath every minute trying to achieve that target. Instead of just trusting your body to do its job because it is never something you need to worry about.

Well sleep is like that. You think changing jobs will affect your body’s ability to sleep/breathe. And that’s exactly what you are trying to find the answer to, will changing jobs affect my sleep/breathing/appetite/digestion/pee/poo or whatever your mind is obsessed with. At this time, it’s sleep. The short answer is, whatever you do in life never affects anything that your body already knows how to do.

[Mercury1]

So having the fear that not looking for a new job may affect my recovery progress will not affect the progress? Because I cannot remove that fear

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