[believer123]

I am celebrating day 11 of being off of restoril. I have fallen asleep every single night without it and just starting last week my sleep started to “consolidate” so none of that fragmented wondering if I slept or not kind. When my insomnia started I did not of sleep onset and so falling asleep at all is a victory for me. Last night was night first setback in that I only slept 3 hours having woken up 12-3am but I am still doing my best to celebrate the fact that 6 months ago I would have done anything to fall asleep for 3 hours. I still got out of bed, did yoga at 6 am, grocery shopped for my mom’s bday which I’m hosting tomorrow and will be spending the day cooking and getting ready for tomorrow. Am I crying here and there? Sure. I think that’s only natural. But I keep reminding myself I have slept for the past 11 days and have proven to myself I can. Sleep will come. And I hope by continuing on with my day, despite some intermittent crying, I am setting up the right conditions to make my recovery process long term. Just wanted to share my journey so far 🙂

[believer123]

Update: my first victory with a “set back”. Last night I slept 6 hours. I was nervous all day that this was the beginning of a regression but instead of sitting around and not following through with my day, I let myself feel the fear bc I didn’t really have a choice tbh but I ALSO did everything (for the most part) I had planned on doing: baked a cake, jogged, prepared to host any moms bday today, went on a date w my husband…I wasn’t leaping for joy through the whole day and there were tears but I did it anyway and that’s a huge behavior shift for me. The next time I have a hard night I’ll remember this and how the next night I was okay. Sleep came. I look forward to the day when I no longer keep track or care but for now where I am in my journey is progress and I’m proud of it. Especially bc I’m on day 12 of sleeping without my sleep aid 🙂 Posting for the sake of anyone else who is struggling w the restoration journey while tapering and I hope it’s helpful.

[Chee2308]

Every setback is a test not a failure. It tests how well you handle them. And each time you start fearing less, you are actually making a gain. Eventually because of all these “relapses”, you become stronger. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Another way of thinking about this is that having setbacks is a surefire sign that you are sleeping well. You begin sleeping less again because all that sleep debt is getting wiped out from better sleep. Just common sense, isn’t it? It is not reasonable to expect getting sleepier and sleepier the more the slept. In the same way, you don’t get hungrier the more you ate. Unless, of course, you have some kind of illness. So sleeping less is a sign of a healthy body. Nobody sleeps all the time unless they are really sick or perhaps even dying.

You may shed tears over this now but there will be a day when you actually laugh! You laugh because how seriously you took all this hoax. It happened to me. I laughed at how silly and gullible I was back then.

The goal of every insomniac is indifference. You don’t let it affect you. You get out of bed and boom, you get on with your day straightaway. No time to think about sleep or its minions. I wish you the best.

[believer123]

Thank you for the reply. These are the exact words I especially needed to hear today. The last three nights have been choppy sleep wise but I‘m officially over 2 weeks off my sleep aid and still learning how to manage these unpredictable waters. I did manage to fall asleep last night but then woke up 2 hours later and struggled to fall back asleep to the point of crying until eventually I got maybe another 2 hours in and some light sleep. This caused me to not wake up at the time my SRT has me on, and I feel like such a failure and like I’ll never get stability again but at the same time I refuse to give up and truly hope to feel indifferent towards this one day. For now I’m still reminding myself to celebrate the hours I got and know that it makes sense to sleep less after a night of longer sleep which I got the night before and once again stayed in bed a little longer than usual. My body isn’t ready to linger in bed longer yet without there being some repercussions the next night. I truly long for the day when sleep isn’t even on my mind. For now being patient with myself and still celebrating the small wins of sleep onset and falling back asleep even if later in the night. The fear is the worste part, you are spot on Chee.

[Martin Reed]

You are reclaiming your life from insomnia as you commit to actions that better reflect who you are and the life you want to live. It’s clear that moving away from medication matters to you.

Your experience is reminding you that you cannot control sleep but you can control your actions. And your actions determine how much power and influence sleep has over your life and the kind of life you live.

Your optimism shines through as you give yourself the opportunity to notice bright spots and positive moments and experiences even when things are difficult.

I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward, with kindness and patience for yourself.

—

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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