[hbrem3]

I have been having some severe insomnia the last 8 months. I know what the triggers are, some pretty unfortunate life changing events and I’m super stressed and can’t sleep. I have massive sleep anxiety which I feel has triggered some underlying depression and anxiety, I feel my life has been turned upside down. I don’t cope well most days. I feel desperate and feel if I can can get some control over my sleep then maybe it will help a little with the anxiety and depression. Can anyone who has gone through this or currently going through this please share any advice that has helped them sleep. Thanks so much!!

[Martin Reed]

That sounds really difficult and it sounds as though you are tangled up in the typical “vicious cycle” of insomnia where the harder we try to make sleep happen and the harder we try to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts or feelings that are associated with insomnia, the more difficult all this stuff becomes. And, the more difficult it becomes, the harder we try. And the more difficult it becomes…

So, we end up stuck. Trying harder and harder, with all the difficult stuff not getting any better (and sometimes even getting more and more difficult).

If you feel your current approach isn’t getting you where you want to be, it might be worth exploring a different approach.

When I work with clients, that often involves implementing behaviors that can help create and maintain good conditions for sleep while practicing a new way of responding to wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings associated with insomnia so we can start to move away from struggling with it.

This usually involves doing things like moving away from trying to fight or avoid all this difficult stuff (since, after all, your experience probably tells you that it can’t be directly or permanently controlled anyway), acknowledging its presence, making space for it to come and go, being kind to yourself, and doing things that matter even when things are hard.

With less struggle, we free up energy (and focus, and attention) to do things that matter. And, that, in turn, can make all this difficult stuff a bit less difficult, a bit less distracting, a bit less draining, and less likely to jerk us around and push us away from the life we want to live.

As a bonus, the less tangled up in a struggle we are, the better conditions become for sleep to happen, too.

I hope there’s something useful here.

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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