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Long story, as short as possible. 65 year old male, not over weight, still in great shape, athletically speaking, but have had chronic insomnia for over 20 years. Has gotten insanely worse over the past few years. Have had 3 sleep studies done. 1st one was maybe 15 years ago, result was some hypopneas, so cpap was prescribed. Maybe a little improvement in sleep. Sleep worsened, so a 2nd study was done maybe 8 years ago. They said I snored a bit, but no reason for cpap. A few years later I did an at home study which showed minor breathing disruptions. I’m very aware that’s the case, but only when on my back.
So here I am today. Very rarely sleep enough to feel decent. Literally about 98% of the time, I crawl out of bed feeling utterly exhausted, with no motivation to do anything, although I force myself to work out regularly, yard work, I have a recording studio, so I work with clients occasionally, etc.
I’ve tried a CBTi course, to no avail. I’ve read all of the Sleep Coach Schools books, hired a coach for a couple of weeks, on and on. Still go to sleep fairly easily, wake in about 1.5 to 2 hrs, go to bathroom, back to sleep, sleep again for maybe 2 to 3 hrs, then at some point I find myself wide awake. I don’t watch the clock, but I think it’s likely around 4am. Not panicked, not anxious, I just lay there and rest. Eventually I may drift back off for a bit, and by daybreak, even though I find myself VERY sleepy, I either can’t sleep because I have to get up to take my 16 year old son to school, or I simply just never fall back asleep, and as mentioned, feel absolutely horrible!
So there you have it, my not so short long story. I’m very close to taking more temazepam (haven’t had any for maybe 5 years or more), since i know it’ll at least help knock me out.. but really, REALLY don’t want to go back that road again. Sigh
Like I said, I’m completely at a loss. Thanks for reading.
Marc
I don’t have any advice as to how to deal with your sleep issues, still working on mine. What I will say is do NOT go back on the benzo if you can help it! As you probably know, those are very powerful drugs and hard to rid yourself of. I’m working on my third taper off of a low nightly dose of lorazepam. The first two were unsuccessful – the first time, a pharmacist told me to cut the dose in half for a week and then stop. That was as disastrous as you can imagine. The second time I did a slower taper based on various bits of online advice – ¼ of a dose at a time – and have since learned from knowledgeable people in a benzo forum that even that was too quick, so I’m in the middle of a much slower one, taking my time at each level.
Also, benzos and other prescription and OTC drugs may knock you out, but they mess with your sleep cycle, and you probably will not get restful or restorative sleep.
Good luck in your journey. Sorry I can’t be more help.
Hi, Marc: Compared to you, my insomnia has been far shorter (two years dealing with it), but I feel your pain. This has become my own private little hell.
Hi Marc
Sorry to hear your story but know you are not alone.
I’ve had insomnia for most of forty years and it started after I had my first baby. Have had different meds over the years but going it alone now as I realise it’s all about the brain and the meds are just a temporary fix and do nothing to rectify the problem.
It’s all about an overactive nervous system and being hyper vigilant.
I’ve just started Martin’s course and remain hopeful as I feel our best bet is the ACTi approach that he uses.
I feel your pain with how horrible you feel and I know how it cripples my life too but we are, as Martin describes, stuck!! We have to work on changing our mindset and retraining the brain.
You are doing better than me as I have frequent all nighters when I read a book all night and all attempts to sleep fail. I never sleep more than 3 hours. I am starting to unravel the struggle a little by trying to accept the negative thoughts and stay calm.
I remain hopeful that things will improve if I can find the key to the puzzle. I know it’s there somewhere.
I wish you luck, don’t give up and stay positive.
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