[Aiva]

Hi all, I’m 62 years old woman.  My sleep has progressively worsened over the past 8 or so years.  It took a new dive middle of last year – after a week on a prescription med for insomnia (Belsomra) and after sleeping for 7 solid hours each night (pure BLISS!) – I landed in hospital via ambulance as my heart was jumping out of my chest.  Turns out I was having many thousands of ectopic beats.  These are benign, unless they are in huge numbers.  Anyway, heart proved to be all good, and the extra beats subsided but in the meantime I developed severe anxiety over the whole event.  Consequently sleep was shattered even further, I was an anxious underslept wreck for weeks.  Dr recommended Mirtazepine 15mg  for sleep and Valium at bedtime for anxiety. Both these didn’t really work that well but at least I got some sleep most nights, usually with a gap or 2 in the middle.

But you can’t be on this stuff forever so I tapered off both at the start of this year.  THEN things went badly again: rebound insomnia.  I struggled for a couple of months, then tried HRT (estrogen and progesterone) as my sleep specialist explained that as women’s hormones change we become Sympathetic Nervous System dominant and we lose progesterone which is the sleep-promoting hormone.  ( I wish he’d told me that 3 years earlier).  HRT worked beautifully, I had a couple of weeks of really good sleep until my heart beat became more irregular again, not so much ectopics as irregular irregular.  So I had to stop.

In the past month I’ve trialled Endep and Melatonin, had to stop both as they too messed with my heartbeat.  Although I’ve used both in the past and no heart effects, it’s like my heart is now extra sensitive to medications.  So I’m at my wit’s end.  Saw a new sleep Dr, he said I have conditioned insomnia, and I can see all the hallmarks.  Why I can feel utterly fatigued during the day but cannot nap, why after a poor night there’s no ‘sleep pressure’, no ‘feeling sleepy’ at bedtime the following night.  Books say ‘only go to sleep when you’re feeling sleepy’, but I don’t feel sleepy anymore, just extreme fatigue.  I feel like I’ve tried absolutely everything over the past 18 months, sleep psychologists, I now do mindfulness twice daily, restorative yoga weekly, try not to stress about it.  But it’s hard.  I’ve been suicidal, and trying to stay positive can be hard.

Thanks for reading!

[Steve]

Hi Alva. I am a lot like you. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the ER but it turned out they said it was only stress. Then they put me on all sorts of anti-depressants which either made me real nervous, didn’t work, or only worked a couple of nights and then quit. Mirtazapine was one of them. It worked for 4 nights and then stopped. The doctor wanted me to up the dosage but when I did, I was a walking zombie.

I also feel very fatigued during the day but no matter what, I can’t nap. I lost that ability when the insomnia started. Now I get anywhere from 4 to 6 hours of sleep but it is usually very fragmented. I am taking Martin’s free sleep course here and if you don’t want to try the paid course, you might want to consider the free course. It is very good and I recommend it. My problem is it is hard to stay on the sleep restriction without a coach so I am thinking of paying for the course. I just have to come up with the money.

[Aiva]

Hi Steve, thanks for your reply, how long have you been struggling with insomnia?   I found Mirtazepine hell to get off, I’d been on it for around 4 months, low dose but even with that it was the hardest thing.  How long were you on it for ?

I’ve done a tonne of sleep hygiene, relaxation, seen sleep psychologists over past 3 years, even had a sleep study done, and an MRI of my brain – I was convinced that the headaches I get (probably from not getting enough sleep) were indicators of something more sinister!

I’m happy with the course so far (day 2) but will see how I go. My biggest problem is that if I don’t sleep well then my heart arcs up and that just increases my anxiety so sleep restriction is a bit tricky.  I swear some nights I could stay awake all night, or I’m just dozing.

best wishes with it all, I hope you’re sorted soon!

 

[Steve]

I have had insomnia since October of last year. They say I had a couple traumatic experiences that triggered it and while those triggers have gone away, I then started, and still do, stress about the insomnia. I’m glad I found this site because I thought then that I had some horrible illness as well. Now I know that others have the same problem. Last night was a bad sleep night for me. I worked around the yard a lot yesterday so I was exhausted but when it came time to sleep, I couldn’t do it. I only got two hours sleep last night. So, I got up a little early and sat in a chair for awhile and actually nodded off once. That should tell me that I am anxious about the bed and why I can’t sleep. Insomnia has really affected my life. I am so exhausted and my legs are so weak. Lately though, the biggest problem has been my eyes as I can’t focus them. I read awhile back that your eye muscles are one of the first muscles to be affected as you can’t control them due to lack of sleep and therefore you can’t move them to focus in on things. That’s what is happening to me. May have to get new glasses to compensate. Good luck with the course. It is relatively easy until you get to the sleep restriction stage. Feel free to come back here for support.

[Aiva]

Thanks Steve,

I didn’t know that about eyesight but I try not to focus (haha) on the negatives as it just increases your anxiety levels.

We both had a rotten night, I too was sleepy when I went to bed but zing!  that was it, complete change.  I got up a couple of times and read, back to bed for same-same:  listening to my relaxation clips (from YouTube, saved in Favourites, with phone brightness turned off).  I think maybe I got one sleep cycle in from 5am, the rest of the time I just rested.  It’s weird that I am SO SO tired but I feel I’ve forgotten how to fall asleep.

For your anxiety, I’d STRONGLY recommend at least 2 sessions of 20 mins a day.  More if you can make it. I so wish that I’d been told that, learning to relax is absolutely vital with all this.  There’s a ton of clips on the internet, pick one, and sit somewhere comfortable, close your eyes and just listen to the voice (pick a guided meditation one, not simply music).  Be prepared to have all these thoughts come into your brain, it will be busy!  A good analogy is that meditation (or mindfulness) is like sitting on a riverbank, with the river (your thoughts) rushing by.  The key is to stay centred on the bank and not engage with the current, just let the thoughts drift on by.

I’m thinking of sleep restriction tonight, go to bed at midnight, instead of the 10.30pm.  I get up at 6.30am so an 8 hour window is too much.

 

[Steve]

I will go to bed at my regular time. I am trying to get an accurate measurement of my sleep again so I can try sleep restriction again.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum, aiva. Did any of your sleep specialists or psychologists mention or suggest cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I)?

CBT-I techniques are particularly helpful at combatting conditioned arousal — not just because of the behavioral techniques that are used, but also because of the sleep education you receive which can really help address any incorrect or inappropriate sleep-related thoughts and beliefs.

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Aiva]

Hi Martin, thanks for your reply, yes the 2 sleep psychologists I saw did address all my thoughts on sleep, how much I thought I “should” have, how I felt if I didn’t sleep etc, also stimulus control, sleep hygiene, relaxation etc.  Probably the only area they didn’t cover was sleep restriction.

I had read about SR and now that I’ve also read what you’ve got to say on the subject I think it was an area that I could’ve benefitted from.  I can see now that for a couple of years at least I’ve probably been going to bed too early.  Although until April this year I could fall asleep pretty well straight away, then a big gap would open in the night, so going to bed at 10.30pm kind of made sense as I thought that was when I was ‘tired’ as I’d fall asleep straight away.

[Sydonia044]

Hi Aiva,

I’m experiencing the same thing It almost feels like I’ve lost the ability to sleep all of a sudden, but I have suffered with mental health and anxiety for some time now. I hope you manage to get some relief soon as I know just how tormenting it is.

Kind regards,

Matt

[Author]

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