[hobbitspice]

I’ve had issues with sleep especially insomnia for most of life but this current bout is really starting to get to me. But I think in the past, I always used external things to help me get back on track such as medications. I know I need to focus on the root causes. I am just having a hard time changing my negative sleep thoughts to positive sleep thoughts. I can write them down, say them out loud, but I don’t know how to get me to “believe” them when I still continue to have insomnia. Also, my anxiety was triggered by insomnia and now it keeps feeding my insomnia. My dreams are anxious dreams which cause me to wake up in the middle of the night. I feel stuck.

[Chee2308]

Hi!

U won’t get over this as long as you continue to fear poor sleep. It really comes down to your relationship with poor sleep and how you think of it. People without sleep problems just shrug it off and go on as if nothing happened. Poor sleep happens to everyone, there’s no such thing as a good sleeper, it’s just sleep in however shape, form or duration and there’s no way your body can do it wrong. The only other thing you can do is to keep your bedtime schedule regular which helps keep your nights more consistent. There’s no other thing you can do to sleep! This is really important and you must understand this before you can begin letting go of the struggle. The faster you let go, the faster you return to normalcy.

[HelpMeHypnos]

i am in the exact same boat as hobbitspice, which made reading your response (Chee2308) so compelling. may i ask that you both elaborate further? that is, i agree and understand everything that you all wrote. but i don’t know how to apply the solutions to my life. i know this is the million dollar question, but if there’s anything you can share on this point (at no cost, despite it being a million dollar question), i would really appreciate it

[Chee2308]

Hello @HelpMeHypnos

I don’t wish to write a long post about this. Because there’s really nothing here to talk too much about. Fearing poor sleep is like fearing having a poor appetite or fearing being hungry or fearing how to breathe. How’s that even possible if you eat three meals a day and never think about breathing?? Because your body takes care of it, all by itself and everytime you think of wanting to control it or trying to override your own body systems, that’s where the problem and the obessesion begins. And when you fail, the despair and gloom sets in. When you simply have no control over it to begin with! The problem is not the kind of sleep you get. Thinking there’s a problem when there’s none IS the problem! What a complete waste of time.

[HelpMeHypnos]

wow. i appreciate that. so if i were to practice that tonight, what would be the three key most important things i should do to get good sleep tonight? and thank you!

[Chee2308]

3 most important things??? If this is your mindset, then you are not getting the point. As you as you keep thinking you MUST do something to sleep better, you are doomed to continue the struggle indefinitely. Because you are choosing to continue playing a game you can’t win. Who’s the enemy here?? Fighting your own body??

Just commit to a regular bedtime schedule. That’s all you need. Everything else is frivolous. The emotions and thoughts WILL take time though, but by being extremely patient and not setting a timeline to “recover”, they will eventually settle down. You reach the “nirvana”, a state where you don’t care about how much and what kind of sleep you get and sleep thoughts no longer bother you. Best of luck!

[Angeli]

“I am just having a hard time changing my negative sleep thoughts to positive sleep thoughts”

Hi! Thoughts are not to be changed, but accepted as they are. That’s why you can’t believe them when you change them to positive thoughts, because you know you’re believing lies. When thoughts of fear, analysis of insomnia, anxiety and despair about tomorrow’s commitments come, simply welcome them and observe them. Tell yourself, “Look what my head is thinking…” Only in a state of acceptance will your brain begin to calm down and send fewer thoughts. While you are fighting more stress hormones are keeping you awake. Good luck!

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