[NikC14]

Hi All,

I am in the middle of a very rough insomnia patch. I struggle to sleep at all and if i do i get to sleep around 4am (and thats even with taking a sleeping tablet (benzo)
I have to get up at 6:30 for work and to care for my children, leaving me little reprieve.
I feel like giving up. I have these constant ruminating thoughts; Am i going to lose my mind? Am i dying? Is this going to be forever?

Every day i have headaches and feel terrible. I need help, i am really struggling.

[Bamagirl]

Hi there! I know exactly how your feeling. Is there anything going on in your life currently or has sleep always been an issue?

[hiker]

Hi NikC14, it sounds like you are really going through it big time.

For starters, I hope you are not shy about calling the Crisis Line. I volunteered there a few years ago, and we often got repeat callers who needed a boost to get through rough spots. I have heard there is now a national number –988– in the USA, anyway. But if you google Crisis Line, you will get through. You may also live where dialing 211 will put you in touch with community resources.

I totally relate to the constant ruminating thoughts. They are an understandable result from not sleeping: your brain can really go haywire. And the thoughts then contribute to future insomnia, a nasty circle. So what to do?

For me, mindfulness and prayer have been the key, the first to slow down and watch the thoughts rather than living them and buying into them; the second for the strength to get through the worst nanoseconds which do not last but seem like they will at the time.

I disagree with people who don’t believe in prayer, though I can understand why they don’t. As for mindfulness, it is sort of a fad right now but has been around for centuries. A couple of free sites: palousemindfulness.com and mindfulnessnorthwest.com

I know when you are really hammered from insomnia it is hard to see the difference between:

1. I’m having the thought that that this is going to last forever, that I should just give up; and

2. This is going to last forever. I am going to give up. —– The difference is huge.

I hope you stay with this site and check out Martin’s materials. The way we think about insomnia can really give it a life of its own, or we can step back and view it more dispassionately, to the point it can lose its grip on us. Not that we can all sleep great every night, but it becomes more of a casual, sometime nuisance rather than a monster.

[Fletch]

I can totally relate, Ive been experiencing pretty much the same experience. Ive had a life time of it but it kicked in seriously 6 years ago and Ibhadn’t had 1 decent night since! Got to the point I didn’t think I could go on and googled help for insomnia and CBTI popped up with Insomnia Coach. I read all I could and started to do the free email course. The crazy thing is once I started Ive been having fairly decent sleep. The fact I realized it’s my fear of not sleeping that was really driving this, the fact it is a mind game thing really clicked. I used to get myself back on track with sleep in the years gone by when I had bad belts of insomnia by just allowing the crazy thoughts and relaxing my mind, but because this was triggered by menopause I had heat issues thrown in as well, and my pre existing anxiety disorder and pre existing insomnia was intensified. Anyway, my point is, its the fear of not sleeping, of thinking you may die or go crazy that is the driver, not the insomnia. That is the part that clicked, the “mind game part of it”. Once I accepted this and started to concentrate on relaxing rather than sleeping, Ive been sleeping. My sleep log is embarrassing to fill in and send off as it looks as if I don’t really suffer from insomnia 🤣 So my main take away has been, learn to relax for the sake of relaxing not for the intention of going to sleep.

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