[ktMD]

Would you say that the longer you’ve had insomnia the longer it takes to recover? If you have it for 6 months would you expect it to take less time to resume somewhat normal sleep than if you have had it for 2 years,?

[Bronte]

Hi KtMD
Not sure there is a clear answer to that question. I suspect it varies greatly from person to person.
I’ve had insomnia for 40 + years, on and off. I have mainly medicated to enable me to sleep as every time I tried to stop medication I didn’t sleep at all and I had a career in nursing to navigate. I mainly took antihistamines in more recent years, never sleeping tablets as they made me feel so awful.

I started trying to stop medication about 11 months ago. I found Martin and his courses/podcasts about 5 months ago. I had done some other sleep programmes before that, that had not helped at all. When I first started trying without medication I had terrible nights with next to no sleep for weeks on end. I was really despairing and so I often relapsed and took a tablet.

However, once I found Martin and I realised exactly what I was doing wrong and how to resolve it, I would say it’s taken about 5 months. There have been lots of ups and downs with a few good nights and then a relapse because I became anxious about it returning.
Then I realised I had to accept the bad nights and not be bothered by them. I had to learn to fully not give a crap about whether I slept or not. I did this by telling myself that it didn’t matter as I could function whatever night I had. I got on with my life and gave my sleep less and less attention and now I really don’t care what happens each night because I will get on with my life regardless. I have stopped having relapses but it did take a few months to reach this point and it wasn’t easy. I now get reasonable sleep most nights. I’ve no idea how many hours but I don’t feel half asleep all day and I can think more clearly, so I must be getting enough.

It’s a very long winded reply, sorry about that, but it seems from Martin’s podcasts that most people need a good few months to work on their mindset and get to the point where you don’t care about it and it sorts itself naturally.

So my advice is to keep learning to ignore what your sleep does. Don’t analyse or measure it. Put it in its place and give it no attention. Don’t try to control it, don’t worry about how long it’s taking to improve and be patient.

Hope this helps a bit? Good luck!

[ktMD]

Well it’s not the answer I was hoping for! I also work in healthcare and my job is very busy. I’ve had this insomnia for a few months. But the idea of accepting wakefulness is as difficult as if my insomnia has been around for years. I have thought of retiring but don’t want the insomnia to be the reason.
Thank you for your great support and helpful answers.

[Bronte]

It is very hard to accept at the beginning. I remember someone saying this on one of Martin’s podcasts and I thought ‘I cannot accept not sleeping for hours every night!’ I was so furious about it and thought it was a silly idea.

Well guess what? You ain’t going to improve insomnia unless you start to teach your brain to accept the times you can’t sleep and stop the struggle.

The key to insomnia is understanding that it is all about fear. Fear of being awake at night – like a phobia. So to reduce the fear you teach yourself that life goes on regardless of whether you sleep or not and you reduce how much you care about it. Once you realise that you can function and go to work and all the normal things without much sleep then the insomnia loses its grip and starts to go away. I know you were hoping for a quick fix but that’s unlikely. It’s hard work for a while but you will get there.

[Chee2308]

Hello ktMD

Your question really is how resistant are you to change. And how sensitive you are to this change.

For example, how did you change from being nonchalant about sleep early in life to being obsessed about it that it becomes the main focus in your life.

I guess it also depends on your personality. How observant are you in recognizing this change and how resistant you are to these changes. Your personality definitely shapes your response. If you accept that change happens all the time, and that everything about you, your physical and mental states including your thoughts change all the time and that everything is really transitory and so you should adapt to these changes and not react explosively to them, then you will do very well indeed and insomnia will pass you by like a breeze and not stay very long.

[ktMD]

Those are both helpful answers, thank you!
One thing I have really become aware of are the intrusive thoughts that pop up at night. These are mainly about financial issues and making the right financial decisions. They wake me up at night. I try to acknowledge the thoughts and tell myself those are thoughts for the daytime, but they still come up. I think in part this is because I am retiring earlier than I expected but there is no point in thinking about it at night. The thoughts just pop up, it’s part of my general anxiety, I guess. But this is a recurring theme.

[Bronte]

Hi
The negative thoughts at night are very common and I’ve certainly had them for a long, long time. I try to just say hallo to them and then reframe them into a more positive language. The other thing I do sometimes is to keep a notepad and pen beside the bed and I write down all my negative thoughts, whatever is on my mind, before I go to sleep. Make sure you journal very honestly by venting any anger or other emotions, as this can help to separate you from these feelings. I always shred what I’ve written the next morning. I have been known to journal in the middle of the night too when I can’t sleep. I find it helps to reduce the amount of stuff in my head at night. I think you have to learn to live with negative thoughts. They are generally not accurate and it’s all about how you react to them and reduce their impact.

I retired from nursing over 4 years ago now. I took early retirement as I was very burnt out and Covid had turned up. I was very ill with it twice and decided to get out (I have asthma which made it worse).
I would encourage you to retire if you can. Although it’s a shock at the beginning, once you fill your life with other things it’s great!! I was also concerned about finances but you get through it. Healthcare is a very stressful job and I don’t think I would have had any hope of improving my sleep until after I left.
I wish you luck!

[ktMD]

Thank you Bronte! I will try your suggestions. Can I ask you if you did the 6- week course with Martin or one of the longer ones?
Your input is valuable and appreciated

[Bronte]

Ah you are welcome! Yes I did do the 6 week course and the free 2 week course. I found the 2 week course the best. I didn’t really get on with the 6 week one (I was a bit angry at that time 😖😁).
Martin is amazing and he’s the best for insomnia and has helped me so much with his principles. I did find the podcasts excellent where clients talk about their recovery. I learnt a lot from that. You can access those too.

I have done previous longer courses (not with Martin) but they were rubbish. I’ve also had CBTi counselling (not useful) and read a few books about insomnia that were helpful. I’m also into the Mindbody stuff as I also suffer from chronic pain and gut issues and have researched that a lot. Insomnia comes under the umbrella of Mindbody too so those principles help with all of it.

How are you getting on with your sleep problems?

[ktMD]

Thank you Bronte for your response.
I slept a little longer last night but was awakened by anxiety over my finances.
I do listen to the podcasts and do find them very helpful. But I can only listen to them when I am not working. I am currently making my way through the 2 week course. Due to my financial anxiety I am struggling with the prices of his longer courses but I know it may be worth it to help me through this. I am so glad I found Martin relatively early in my insomnia course. I also tried CBTi but find it sometimes makes it harder than Martin’s approach. Accepting wakefulness is difficult but I am working on it.

[Bronte]

You don’t need to do his longer course. Save your money. You can learn all the principles and work towards resolving the insomnia without it.

Sorry to hear about your worries. Hope you can work things out 🤞

[Author]

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