[Christine]

My insomnia keeps me from a lot of social activity because I’m often too tired to interact. How do I let my friends, family and acquaintances know what’s going on without coming across as crazy?

 

[SIimon]

Just tell them! You probably won’t get much sympathy but there is no need to be embarrassed…

[Aeglaeca]

I understand that struggle. It’s really easy to feel embarrassed or like you’re overreacting to what’s going on when all you can say is “I’m tired.” People probably don’t understand that what you mean isn’t a missed night of sleep here and there, but an unrelenting lack of sleep.

I suggest telling them, yes, but making a particular effort to explain why it’s so hard for you. Ask them to imagine the least sleep they’ve ever experienced, and how awful it made them feel, and then to imagine what that must be like to experience constantly.

Maybe you could direct them to some resources that explain some of the things that insomnia can cause/what it’s like. There are a even a few helpful short videos to that effect.

I doubt you’ll come across as crazy. Good luck.

[delv-x]

Christine

My advice is to try to commit to social functions and activities. I know it may seem counter intuitive but if you are tired and not able to sleep anyway, going out for a bit can actually help. Going out will make you feel less tired and going out will make you think and worry less about sleep. Short social functions like going out for tea with some friends for a few hours can be helpful. Also it gives you an opportunity to talk about it if you feel comfortable to.

 

[Edgar]

Christine, I can only say that I am in the same boat,you’re not alone. I haven’t told anyone of my insomnia,not even my doctors, even though my face says it all. I am that ashamed. Only my family knows.

Not that insomnia is anything to be ashamed of, but I feel society can be full of a**holes. For instance, when I tell people I have epilepsy and MS, I get a lot of strange looks and stigma, and then I have to explain that they are measurable, observable, physical illnesses. In other words, that I am not crazy. I don’t know how I would explain the inabilty to sleep, when everyone else seems to be able to do it just fine.

I agree with delv, if you can, maintain social interactions, even if you’re not enjoying them on the inside because you’re too tired. Isolation from others is not helpful, and if you’re like me, yo probably won’t sleep anyway, so you might as well go.

Good luck!

[Martin Reed]

Have you told your friends and family about your current difficulties with sleep yet, @Christine? As  @delv-x mentioned, it’s usually a good idea to try staying social and sticking to plans rather than canceling them.

That’s because when we cancel plans or rearrange our lives around our sleep, the implication is that we can control our sleep by conserving energy or staying home. Unfortunately, that is not the case — rather, when we cancel plans and stay home we end up feeling more fatigued (due to inactivity) and we are guaranteeing that our bad night(s) of sleep will only ever have a bad outcome.

When we stay home, we are more likely to be inactive, more likely to think about sleep, more likely to worry about sleep, more likely to nap or try to sleep, and more likely to spend additional time in bed. All this leads to more worry and anxiety about sleep and perpetuates the problem.

If you continue to socialize and stay active, you are also far more likely to enjoy some good moments (even after a bad night of sleep) — and this can be a great reminder that the quality of our day isn’t always entirely dependent on the quality of our sleep.

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