[TraciD]

Hi everyone! I’ve been struggling with sleep for several decades and have tried almost all of the recommended sleep hygiene habits, and every prescription/over-the-counter/natural remedy out there. And now here I am on day two of my CBT-I journey. I still maintain one bad habit at night – falling asleep to the sound of the TV – and I’m wondering if anyone else can relate or give specific advice as to when in my CBT-I I will learn to undo this habit. I know I have some faulty thinking around this habit that sounds something like “I need the TV on to help me fall asleep” or “I can’t fall asleep unless the TV is on” rationally, I know these things aren’t true however I also know these are stories I’ve been telling myself for decades and some part of me believes them. It may sound weird, but the idea of falling asleep without the TV is actually scary to me because ultimately, I think I’m afraid I won’t fall asleep at all. Has anyone come across and what do you suggest aside from going cold turkey? I was able to fall asleep last night, listening to a boring sleep story without the TV on however I had only slept for three hours the night before so I was super tired and I think my tiredness helped a lot. Thank you for any suggestions you might have!

[hiker]

Hi TraciD, well, as habits go, it’s certainly the worst out there. Still, I get that you would like to kick it and just go to sleep without the TV. I gather it is a problem because it’s not as though you wake up rested with the TV on. You describe having sleep problems for decades, so I’m assuming you wake up too early, perhaps prompted at least in part by the light or noise of the TV.

There could be a lot of perspectives on this. One might be to turn it off via remote a few seconds before you conk out. Or maybe not face the screen so the ambient light doesn’t jar you awake midway through the night. Or gradually lower the volume over several nights. Or maybe try listening to a podcast, which even if it continues would not include the light. Or just keep falling asleep to the TV–but not panicking when it wakes you up midway, just turning it off and going back to sleep. Or moving the TV to the bedroom so at least you are lying in bed (if you are currently falling asleep in living room armchair / sofa). Or just turning off the TV and experiencing the “cold turkey” anxiety—not to diminish the unpleasant aspects here, but at least it is not a risk to physical health, such as trying to detox off heroin without medical supervision.

I hope other people will reply so you can get additional ideas. In the meantime, I suggest you read other posts, even if they don’t address this specific subject. The common thread is sleep anxiety, as in omg, what am I going to do if I can’t sleep, I can’t handle this, etc. Whether it originates from a TV or anything else.

You are not alone.

[TraciD]

Hiker,

Thank you so much for your reply and all of your suggestions! The TV I’ve been falling asleep to is in my bedroom. It’s set on a timer to turn off about 2 hours after I go to bed. Starting tonight my plan is to not use the TV at all, rather I will start by having the streaming service on my phone for my show, but with the phone face down at my bedside where it usually is. I will also set it to a lower volume. This way I’m eliminating all of the light, reducing the sound disruption and technically I won’t have the TV on. I think this will be a good first step for me and then I could move towards swapping the streaming shows for relaxing music, a podcast or sleep story. Maybe eventually … nothing! I think by moving away from using the actual TV this will help me change that faulty thinking about “needing the TV on”.

I also watch a few hours of TV before bed which is part of my nightly routine. I’ve used the settings on the TV to reduce the brightness and have ordered blue light glasses that I plan to wear while watching my evening TV (before bed) to hopefully reduce any impact the screen might be having on me before I go to bed. I’ll let you know how it goes!

[Chee2308]

Okay, this is perhaps one of the weirdest habit I’ve heard in a while. If you rewrap your head about this for a bit, like thinking if you can sleep WITH the TV on, you will sleep through anything! Just imagine what kind of sleep you will unleash when it’s quiet and dark. I also think there’s no such thing as “struggling with sleep” for decades, per se. The more accurate term is struggling with your thoughts about sleep for decades, your sleep was and still is fine all by itself. When people say they have had insomnia for years or decades, they really only have problems with their misguided, pre-conceived and often erroneous notions about sleep but the actual sleep mechanism has nothing to do with anything and is still working like clockwork. Then once people realize that their insomnia is really a mental problem and not a physiological one, their journey of gradual deconstruction and thereby recovery begins. Good luck!

[Stacie]

Honestly, I think falling asleep while your shows are playing is fine. I have tried the podcasts and sleep stories and audiobooks, and I would feel pressure to fall asleep because my mind is freaking out about sleep. So, I let the shows stay on, but I’ll use my iPad/iPhone. I’ll turn the volume down lower, close the iPad so the screen isn’t showing, and just let the show play. It’s better than podcasts and audiobooks. At least it’s what helped me last night. I hope to eventually wean myself off of these things, but for now it helps.

[TraciD]

Thanks Chee! I’ve made a lot of progress and no longer have the tv or any device playing when I go to bed. I’m about ready to sell the small tv from my bedroom! I’ve also stopped all of my sleep meds since starting SRT and feeling really good!

Sleep well 😴

Traci

[TraciD]

Thanks Stacie! I’m sleeping so much better without electronics now that I’ve figured it out! Best of luck to you!

Traci 🙂

[Chee2308]

Hi @TraciD

So glad to hear you are doing really well. Please thank yourself first! You are the one who made all this possible. As long as anyone don’t make sleeplessness an enemy, or actively try to avoid it, they will do very well in leaving behind the mental struggle with insomnia. Good luck to you and best wishes.

[TraciD]

Chee this is so kind. Yes I’m regularly grateful to myself and for finding CBT-i! And even grateful for sleep restriction therapy although it did feel like the devil’s work at the beginning forcing myself to stay up so late lol 😈 The insomnia coach emails, podcast and a CBT–i app that I have been using have made an incredible difference for me! As you say, it’s all about learning to let go of the struggle, well.. there’s more to it than that, but that is a huge factor!

Wishing you the best!

Traci

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