[Suenoporfavor]

Hello,
I have found Martin’s words so helpful! I have struggled with insomnia for about 15 years, and have had very hard times with it, and better times. I have been implementing sleep restriction for multiple years, but have developed a new bad habit with this. Whenever I get in bed, even for sex, I get extreme anxiety. I have intrusive thoughts about insomnia and when I will need to get up and I have horrible memories of entire strings of nights with no sleep. The bed feels like a very unsafe place for me, but I feel happy in my life. The bed literally just brings up memories in my body about insomnia and a very visceral fear. Sometimes I try to sleep in bed. Of course, when I can’t sleep in the bed, I go to the living room to read. I try to come back to the bed, get anxiety about being in bed, and then go back to the couch. Eventually I end up falling asleep on the couch. I haven’t been able to consistently sleep in a bed in years, but I can sleep on the couch and mostly sleep decently well. I feel like if I’m in the bed I better actually be tired and ready to sleep and that scares me. The couch feels like less pressure filled place to sleep. Has anyone struggled with anything similar? What has helped? I’d love to be able to sleep in bed with my partner. Thanks

[Martin Reed]

Fear is really difficult, right? And yet no matter how scared we might be when in bed, we are actually completely safe, right?

So, what’s going on?

Perhaps your mind is recalling all the struggle that has taken place in bed in the past and so it fires up in preparation to protect you from what it considers to be the threat of nighttime wakefulness and even your bed itself. In other words, your mind is doing its job of looking out for you and trying to protect you — it’s just that it’s maybe trying a bit too hard!

Perhaps the ongoing avoidance of fear and anxiety makes the appearance of fear and anxiety feel completely intolerable — something that must always be avoided at all costs (even though those emotions cannot physically harm you).

So, perhaps a workable way forward might be to train your brain that the bed is actually a safe place. That it’s not a place for struggle. That fear and anxiety, although very unpleasant, isn’t a threat or a danger.

What are your thoughts on that, and how might you achieve this, do you think?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

Posts