[BishBosh]

Hi guys,

It’s been fairly enlightening reading through the various posts and it’s actually a good mood booster to see you’re not alone in this. I’m posting here in the hope that someone can identify with my symptoms and maybe offer advice. Family and friends have been supportive over the last year of my insomnia, but trying to explain what it feels like to someone with no sleep issues is like trying to explain colour to a blind person.

I’m 32 years of age, and never had any sleep issues until I was 30. Now, I’m basically incapable of falling asleep without the use of medication. I’ve been to a CBT-I clinic, various doctors and a work-appointed therapist over the last year, and while they have all helped to some degree with maintaining mood and outlook during the day, none of them has made a lasting impact on my sleep.

At the moment, it’s so bad that I’m feeling suicidal. Every night, I calm myself by meditating, generally try to do a muscle relaxing exercise routine, and have recently been practising “havening”, on the advice of my counsellor. Every night, I’ll eventually feel relaxed enough that I’ll fall asleep, only to be shot out of sleep 20 seconds to a minute after I’ve lost consciousness. I’ll then try to relax again, only for the cycle to start all over again. In the past, one of these efforts would usually work, but for over a month now nothing has worked, and I inevitably either stay awake until exhaustion pulls me into sleep around 6am or else I’ll reach for a sleeping pill (If I know I’ve a lot on in work the next day, or a lot to do). I don’t like using sleeping pills as the effect is essentially that of passing out drunk instead of falling asleep. Sometimes they’re the only reasonable option though. Going to work on no sleep at all is simply too terrible to face.

It’s essentially like my body simply won’t allow itself to become unconscious, and instantly rejects sleep after no more than a minute. Over the last two years I’ve begun gym-training at least twice a week, have quit smoking, changed my diet, and try to meditate at least once a day. I feel so hopeless at the moment that I don’t feel I can go on much longer. Has anyone experienced the same type of “sleep rejection” at all?

Any advice anyone can offer would be seriously welcome.

Thanks for Reading.

[Davy]

you are not alone, I have to give up a job that I really like to do by insomnia many here  will understand you I have been in the clinic twice because of exhaustion it’s all in your head they say you should just relax do not be nervous and sleep It is not that simple I can not really give you advice because I stumble with it myself but you are certainly not alone when it can be a comfort

[Daf]

Yes, you are not alone, mate.

Read the forum posts – and you will get some good advice.

[Deb]

I hate that you’re feeling suicidal, but I know the feeling. A couple nights ago I broke down into tears with my husband because I was feeling so much despair.

Check out Guy Meadow’s Sleep School online and his book, The Sleep Book. It’s a radically different approach. I’m doing CBT-I now and if don’t get much better (I seemed to have plateaued) then I will do his program. But if I decide to do this I will work with one of his therapists instead of trying to do it on my own because it looks really hard in the beginning. In his program you learn to face the fears and deal with them which means staying in bed all night, which could result in some all nighters in the beginning.

Right now I’m in my 5th week of SR and SC and this week has been a bad one with 3 bad nights already (including last night) and I’ve still got 2 more days of this week to go. But maybe it’s just a dip and I will get better next week. I’m hoping that over time this works.

How long did you do CBT-I and how was that for you?

[Deb]

P.S. Regarding your meditation and relaxation exercises, Guy Meadows says that these are just more ways of “trying” to go to sleep, which don’t work because we need to stop trying. His method focuses on learning to let go and getting back to the place of “doing nothing” to fall asleep like we used to.

Of course if they help, by all means keep doing them.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum, BishBosh. I am really sorry to hear about your struggles with sleep. I can tell that insomnia is a very real problem for you.

You mentioned that you went to a CBT-I clinic. Can you tell us a bit more about that? How long was your course of CBT-I? What techniques did you implement, and for how long?

—

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[Deb]

Hi BishBosh,

How are you doing? You wrote here that you’ve been feeling hopelessness and suicidal. Not good. But very understandable. I was like y0u before in both mood and extreme frustration over not being able to fall asleep. I could be totally exhausted yet would just lie in bed for hours unable to sleep. When it was at its worse, sometimes I wouldn’t sleep all night or maybe would finally fall asleep at 5 or 6 am for a few hours. I went 9 days once with 4 of them without any sleep at all and the rest with only a few hours of sleep. I was ready to be put in the mental hospital!

I know that you said you went to a CBT-I clinic, but it sounds like you didn’t get the help you needed. In that case, you need to keep looking for the right help. People sometimes have to go to several doctors before they finally find the right one who gives them the correct diagnosis and treatment for a medical condition. So it seems that you need to keep trying to find the right help for you and not give up.

I started working with Martin 6 weeks ago and my sleep has improved tremendously. I have actually slept all night, 4 nights in a row as of last night. I want to encourage you to email Martin and see if he can help you like he’s helped me. Tell him exactly what you’ve tried as well as what you are doing now. And then ask him if he thinks he could help you. He’s very good at responding promptly to emails, so you would hear back from him soon.

Whatever you do, don’t give up! There is help out there for you. You can also follow the thread “Sudden Severe Insomnia” as some of us are posting our journey of implementing insomnia therapy and are sharing our progress as well as our struggles. This should give you some hope. I would also recommend you read Sasha Stephens’s book, The Effortless Sleep Method, if you haven’t already. She talks about her insomnia of 15 years and how she over came it.

Take care.

[sleepytime]

I’m also at the edge. I’m scared now. this thing has hit me so bad that my brain feels damaged…..im gonna have to try sleeping pills for the first time I guess. no teas or anything has helped me. I feel like I’m dying. I went to work yesterday and I wanted to cry because everyone loves me there and it was hard just to smile back. I have a thick headache right now after failing trying to sleep……I think I got a lil rest yesterday after work. Possibly 5 hours (maybe)….im hoping I can go to work and try this again and see if I can finally pass out.

please god let us get threw this

[Author]

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