[Andrea]

Hello! I am new to this forum. I am also extremely desperate to get help. I used to look forward to bed time the minute I woke up in the morning and now I spend all day fearing 10:30pm when I get into bed. I’ve always struggled with sleepless nights before big events such as my wedding, but the minute that event was over, my sleep confidence would return. After an extremely long labor with almost three sleepless nights in a row, I have never felt more unstable in my life. It triggered this complete fear that if I don’t sleep, I will not be able to control my moods or maybe I might never sleep again. Ever since the birth of my baby 9 months ago, I have gone through cycles of decent sleep and horrible sleep but the anxiety over sleep has never left. I started taking Zoloft 6 months ago which helped the sleep but I have hated all the side effects. As I have been trying to ween, my sleep has been back into a downward spiral. Ironically, my baby has slept through the night since he was just 2 months old… yet I haven’t. I am going to enroll in the courses here as the podcast has been helpful for me. But I would also love recommendations on books that aren’t necessarily about sleep but mindfulness techniques and other approaches to lessening night time anxiety. Thank you!

[Chee2308]

Hello!
As someone who’s recovered, I can completely relate to your story and I’m telling you that worrying unnecessarily over bad sleep is what’s causing your sleeplessness, which by itself, isn’t a problem. But you thinking there’s a problem as if your life or death depends on it and your subsequent over-reaction, that becomes the problem in itself. Your impatience in trying to fix this quickly and the frustration over how long it’s taking makes the problem persist indefinitely.

Very often, you can fix this by just having a fixed bedtime schedule, ie getting into and out of bed at the same time everyday and no sleeping at other times, enjoying your day the best you can and being very patient with yourself because full recovery isn’t going to happen overnight but slowly over weeks sometimes months depending on your personality and how accepting you are of your situation. At times you are just going to accept defeat and say “Insomnia, you win. I won’t try to fight you anymore because it’s futile.” Accepting that bad nights will happen no matter what you do, that worrying about them isn’t going to help and will instead make it worse and avoid taking measures to improve sleep and stop questioning too much what and why this is happening, is crucial. Just accept what your body is going through and do nothing for sleep except having a regular bedtime routine will ensure you don’t have to suffer longer than necessary.

Accept that sleep is just a number game, most people feel sleepy after being up for at least 16-18 hours and by not getting in the way of sleep with excessive worry and anxiety (these will take time to go away so please be patient with yourself), most people including you will eventually sleep well again. If you find you can’t sleep well initially, don’t be so hard on yourself because this is normal and you can either get up and do something enjoyable or just have an early start to your day. Over time your sleep will improve and you find yourself spending more time in bed asleep. Good luck and best wishes.

[Jaran]

Hello Rosi. You are not alone! I think you’ll find many of us here have had your same feelings, frustrations, and fears.

You spoke of the podcasts by Martin. Have you looked though the “Resources Menu” at the top of this page? I’ve found lots of excellent help there.

My epiphany came from watching a 90 minute round table discussion by Martin and two other sleep specialists on youtube called “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia: The Deep Dive”. It was the first time, after decades of insomnia, that I felt like I wasn’t unique and there is hope. It also gave me a good basic understanding and jumping-off point for CBTi. And then Martin’s course was invaluable!

Also, on this forum, if you click on the Insomnia Success Stories, there is a long thread called “100% cured from postpartum insomnia” (or something like that). Perhaps you might find some parts of that discussion that are relevant for you.

Wishing you the best!

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Jaran.

[Andrea]

Thank you both so much for the kind replies! I hate to say it because I don’t want anyone else to be suffering through sleepless nights, but it definitely does offer me comfort that I am not alone. I will look through the resources described!

[MelH89]

You are not alone. I’ve been reliant on sleeping pills for 9 years but I’m going to get off of them. We are all here.

[Author]

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