[Frank87]

I bought Martins course yesterday after coming off 3 poor nights of sleep. The week 1 course content suprised me a bit as it was less about sleep restriction than I thought and more about mindset. It was also not as conventional as most people who teach CBTi. Most would tell you to have a sleep buffer, do something relaxing like take a hot bath or maybe do some yoga, don’t watch TV unless its with special glasses that block light, have a bedtime routine etc. Martin is more about do whatever you want and remove sleep efforts So last night I didn’t have a hot bath to feel relaxed like I have been and I even laid in bed for 30 minutes prior to my sleep window watching a youtube video on my phone like I always used to. I also ditched my sleep tracking smartwatch. When my sleep window arrived i was sleepy (i almost dropped the phone on my face). I also tried to change my mindset. I said to myself: 1. Be okay with wakefulness, don’t fight it. It happens to everyone. 2. Enjoy the comfort of your bed. Not everyone has a bed. Be grateful and enjoy the feeling of just laying there. (this one i learned from the client forum) and 3. If negative thoughts come, thank them for coming and taking care of me. Tell them you don’t need them though.

The night went great. I fell asleep within 15 minutes and slept through the whole night until my kid started crying at 5am (my alarm goes of at 5:30am anyways)

I know this is just one night and i have to be okay with any possible ups and downs. The challenge will be to reinforce to myself that everyone has bad nights, and its not something to worry about or try and fight off. They happen to everyone. This is what I will need to work on

Removing the sleep efforts is key though. I didn’t think about sleep leading up to it the sleep window. I did what I used to do. Just enjoy my evening and do the things I always enjoyed. I didn’t use to think about light coming from my phone before I had sleep issues and guess what, i used to sleep like a baby. I am never putting in sleep efforts ever again.

[Frank87]

Oh I forgot, I even had a coffee at 3pm like I always used to. I love coffee. Why am i depriving myself of something I love. All it does is reinforce I have a problem and I need to do all of these things and remove things i love to correct the problem. That being said, I am not going to have an espresso at 10pm, that could be sabotage. We just need some common sense. If I always used to have a coffee at 3pm prior to my sleep issues why am i eliminating it now? Its not like eliminating it was making me sleep better!

[Chee2308]

You are off to a great start and I can already tell you will do extremely well. Just remember that recovery from insomnia doesn’t mean completely free from insomnia (it will happen again even when you think you are cured), it just means you have abandoned the struggle with it. Good luck and best wishes to you.

[Frank87]

I know you’re never truly free from it. I had insomnia for 3 months in 2008 and then again for 2 weeks in 2021. Other than that i slept well. I didn’t expect it to come back in 2023, this time for 4 months. But i understand i am maybe more susceptible to sleep issues than someone else. I am hoping because of the tools i learn here, that even when i am “cured” when i have the inevitable bad night or 2 I don’t let it spiral out of control anymore. Just to need to accept it for what it is. And remember that we are human and ever once has bad nights, its how we react to them that leads to what happens next.

[Chee2308]

About the expresso at 10pm, feel free to do that too! I used to think like you but as I got better, I started becoming more adventurous and began taking caffeine anytime I wanted and found I could still sleep as well because I wasn’t worried about not sleeping! I even love to indulge in a chocolate binge plus having my caffeine fix before bed. I am giving the middle finger to insomnia and show it who’s boss. Nobody gets to tell me what to do with my life, and my life isn’t all about worrying about sleep because there will be a time when we all will get unlimited amounts of it so why worry about getting it now?? To be alive is to be awake! If you are having insomnia, it’s a clue your body is telling you that you aren’t living life to the fullest and you are just wasting it by getting into bed way before you are sleepy and then waiting, practically begging for sleep to happen. Is that going to be a life well lived?? At my death bed, I would rather want to remember the cool things I did and not how horrible I seemed to sleep all the time!

[Kriskin1]

Great posts above Frank & Chee. I slept well until Dec 2022. Since then it’s been like a roller coaster. I absolutely hate wakening up after 3 – 4 hrs sleep in the middle of the night. This is when my struggle starts. I seem to have an issue getting back to sleep. It’s a constant battle. What should I do in this scenario? Try to accept as there seems very little I can do when I try to nod off again. It’s like someone is pressing a button saying “hey you, you’re not going to sleep”. It’s a very lonely place wakening up at that time each morning while the rest of the family are all still in their deep dreams.

[Martin Reed]

It sure sounds as though you’ve got an early win in there, Frank — and that has helped you recognize that you are on a workable path forward. The path won’t always be smooth but you always get to choose the direction you move in (and you can always change direction if you ever find yourself heading in the wrong direction at any time in the future)!

@Kriskin1 — As I mentioned in my recent reply to your post in the client forum, the best way of getting rid of the battle might be to withdraw from the battle! To practice moving away from trying to control what cannot be controlled. To practice moving away from the struggle that makes everything more difficult. Ideally, while also being kind to yourself — because this is difficult.

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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