[Courtypox]

I’ve been implementing Martin’s strategy about only getting out of bed if battling against sleep, and doing something more pleasant. I usually go downstairs and watch some TV or read. Not much to do at 3am without waking up the rest of my family. The problem I’m now encountering is finding myself starting to get frustrated, discouraged, and upset even doing these activities. Similar feelings I have that gets me out of bed when I’m battling sleep. I think because it signals to me another night of no sleep, and another long day before the next sleep window. I’m starting to really hate being downstairs on my couch during these times, where it once felt ok. Trying to just let the feelings “be there” without reacting to them, but is becoming hard. Especially when trying to “befriend” being awake. Anyone have any good way to deal this?

[Chee2308]

Hello there

Before your insomnia, what did you do if you couldn’t sleep? Did you lie in bed? Then do exactly that. If you never got out of bed and forced yourself to “like” wakefulness, because everyone here said so, then it is not going to work because it reinforces to your body that you have a problem to fix and you will only end up getting more frustrated.

Bouts of sleeplessness are no stranger because it happens periodically to everyone. The difference this time, you start registering it’s a “problem out of nowhere”, and it needs to be “fixed”. Well, the problem is, there is no effective fix that you are aware of because you haven’t thought there was a problem before and therefore it was always left “unresolved”. You then become confused and frustrated this time, when everything you try seems not to work. More sleep efforts could only mean more frustration.

Sleep never was something you could control. It was something you allowed. Could you explain exactly what is going on, from the process of lying in bed until falling asleep, going through the stages of sleep, and then waking up? If you could not, then why delegate this monumental task to yourself when you have next to no idea how it really works?

You can never argue or frustrate your way out of insomnia. Your body is emotional so it will also not respond to reason. It responds only to routine (such as having a regular bedtime) and also by “observing” how you respond. Having a regular bedtime schedule is usually all that is needed to get sleep back on track. If you are calm, gentle, patient and disciplined with whatever you are faced with, exactly how you responded pre-insomnia, no matter how unpleasant they make you feel now, then your body will see this, start normalizing every unpleasant thought or emotion, you will end up doing pretty well and the whole thing will pass over, like before. Good luck.

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