[Lozelise]

So my long bout of insomnia started in June this year and I started recovering in September. Last 4 weeks I’ve been doing amazing, very few struggles with sleep and barely touched my sleeping pills. The last few days though, the worry just crept back in and I haven’t slept well for 4 days. It’s like I just can’t shake the trauma of how bad it was last time. Now, the smallest hint of anxiety and I can’t sleep. I used to get anxious over sleep a lot, but I’d always end up sleeping anyway. Now it’s the opposite, my anxiety does lead to little sleep.

I just feel defeated because while I don’t expect to never have bad nights, I just don’t understand why it’s happening to me. I’m so envious looking at my friends and coworkers who have no issues with sleep.

The worst part is, sleeping pills have worked for me every single time I’ve taken them (which hasn’t been constant, on and off) and last night for the first time after taking one, I woke up after 2 hours and couldn’t sleep for 3-4 hours.. so now my trust in my sleeping pills, which had given me a lot of confidence in sleep, is fading too.

Anyway this is long and rambling, but I just want to recover from this thing and not have any major setbacks. I mean before June, I was sleeping every night without fail for years and yes I had bad nights, but they never phased me the way they do now.

[Martin Reed]

Hello Lozelise and welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your experience and your thoughts.

Worry is a natural human emotion. It will show up for as long as you are a living, breathing human being. And, as a human being, your mind will experience countless thoughts and feelings — whenever it chooses!

Some will feel good. Some won’t. Some will be helpful. Some won’t. Some will be accurate. Some won’t. You can’t stop them — just as you can’t stop the flow of a river with your bare hands.

Thoughts and feelings do not prevent sleep from happening (although they sure can make it more difficult). We can still sleep when we are worried, when we are anxious, or when our minds are doing anything else they choose to do!

What can make sleep even more difficult is trying to fight or avoid difficult thoughts and feelings. Our attempts to do that can give them more power and influence than they might require or deserve. This is when we can get pulled into an endless, exhausting, and distracting struggle that makes them (and sleep!) even more difficult.

It’s natural and normal, as you acknowledged, to experience some difficult nights from time to time — just as it’s natural and normal to experience some difficult days from time to time. They cannot be eliminated through effort.

It can also feel confusing — and yet, there’s no mystery. It all comes down to the struggle. The more we struggle (which is caused by trying to control sleep or what we think or what we feel) the more difficult sleep, our thoughts, and our feelings, can become.

Your friends and coworkers all have issues with sleep from time to time — I guarantee it! It’s just that they might respond in a different way and so they don’t accidentally end up giving insomnia the fuel it needs to survive (attention, energy, and effort).

Sleeping pills can work until they don’t work — and that’s because nothing can make sleep happen other than being awake for long enough (and sedation is not the same as sleep).

So, with all this in mind, I encourage you to be kind to yourself. None of this is your fault. What you are experiencing is hard. And it’s not unusual. The more you can practice moving away from trying to fight or avoid insomnia and the thoughts and feelings associated with it, the better able you might be to free yourself from an endless struggle.

I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best.

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Chee2308]

You are being unrealistic because you keep trying to escape that one thing which is natural to humans and all living things. Which is awakeness! Being awake is completely natural and a part of being alive! The only living thing that expects to sleep forever is, well, no longer alive. I think lots of people here have explained to you why it’s unrealistic to expect sleeping well forever, or to expect sleepless bouts can only get “this bad” and never “worse” because it can and it WILL but only if you allow it and you keep engaging in the unwinnable battles to make it all go away and never come back

[Author]

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